The Myth, Mythos & Myths of the NRA (pt 6: Da BIG Dawgs) [UNDER CONSTRUCTION

If you happened to pop on to this page, WELCOME! This is obviously a work-in-progress, so you’re witness to an ongoing process of creation. And, I have to tell you sometimes it’s kind of ugly.

Things get written or added sometimes just to catch a thought before it succumbs to a “senior moment”. Sometimes it’s just notes or passages I use for direction pointers. Sometimes I’ll set off on a trail and then decide I don’t want to go there. Or, I’ll  find a more scenic, (i.e. snarky) shortcut. Sometimes, what I thought was right, was wrong and I’ll change it before it becomes an official post. And, sometimes after I sober up, I’ll decide the muse was just yanking one of my extremities, so I’ll dump the whole section. In other words (or initials): WYSINWYG.

The “Face” (& “Mouth”) of the NRA

Le Pew-of-the-open-mouth (Insert item of your choice.)

If you ask “Sam or Samantha Sidewalk” who they think of when they think of the NRA, chances are they’ll name ol’ Peppy aka “No Wang” Wayne. aka Mr. Lapierre (if you’re French). Most people probably think he’s the head honcho, but technically he’s Executive Veep and CEO. NRA Presidents come and go, but ol’ “No Wang” seems to have been around forever. He joined in ’77 and has held his current positions since ’91.

In 1995, NW sent out a fundraising letter in which he called federal agents “jack-booted government thugs” who wear “Nazi bucket helmets and black storm trooper uniforms“. This was just prior to The Oklahoma City bombing. This pissed off “Pappy” Bush so bad, he dumped his NRA membership.

Most of No Wang’s more memorable speeches over the last couple of decades usually sounded the alarm about the impending government gun grabs.

You need those guns to fight off towelhead terrorists and those 1,000,000 Mexican drug gang members in every state. They must be damn good at hiding, because seven states don’t even have a population that large. (Either that, or every single man, woman and child  in Montana, Delaware, S. Dakota, N. Dakota, Vermont, Wyoming & Alaska is a druggie gang banger! et tu Sister Sarah? D.C. would qualify as well, but we already knew about them.)

Besides, every man needs at least one long, hard, stiff “weapon”.  And the constitution (or, at least the “heller version“) says you can have all the weapons and ammo you want. So there!! 😛

Also, if the damn government doesn’t like it, by golly the NRA members got the guts and the guns to fight them off.



 Ahh, yah. Good luck with that little pipe dream.







The NRA claims to have a lot of political power to elect their lackeys and take devastating revenge on those who sin against the almighty gun.

At one time? Maybe. Nowadays? Shit no!

Let me explain a little more politely: of all the political super PAC’s and interest groups that funded the last election, the worst ROI (Return On Investment) belonged to the NRA. They backed or opposed candidates on the state, congressional and presidential levels. Their “batting average”: .0089 (less than 1% overall).NRA PACs spent $13 million dollars to defeat that gun-grabbing – constitution hating asshole in the “White”house. That didn’t turn out so well. They also backed eight senatorial candidates to the tune of $100,000 plus (each). They lost seven of those races. The scariest part (if you’re a politician): over half of the house incumbents that lost, were NRA backed.





And, not worth the price.

Sounds like a "win-win" solution to me

According to Lamar Alexander (Repugnut Tennessee Senator) I think video games is [sic] a bigger problem than guns, because video games affect people.

You know, over the years, I’ve gotten totally sick of this bullshit. When I was a wee lad, the problem wasn’t guns, it was comic books. (Which killed E.C. comics, but didn’t seem to have too much effect on the rate of violence.)  Then later it wasn’t guns, it was violent movies. (Which gave us the movie rating system, but didn’t seem to have too much effect on the rate of violence.) It’s still not guns, but now it’s video games?

When I was a kid I played cowboy and cops & robbers, shooting down the bad guys. (or good guys if I was playing a baddie). Nowadays, I engage in several games that include battles. But, in all that time playing games with imaginary violence, I’ve never once had the urge to go on a killing rampage.

Home Protection

  • a gun in the home carries a murder risk 2.7 times greater than not
  • people are 21 times more likely to be killed by someone they know than a stranger breaking into the house
  • Half of the murders were over arguments or romantic triangles
  • gun-owning households saw an increased murder risk by family or intimate acquaintances, not by strangers or non-intimate acquaintances
  • 76.7 percent of the victims were killed by a spouse, family member or someone they knew
  • Strangers comprised only 3.6 percent of the killers.
  • Of the 420 homicides they originally investigated, 96.4 percent were illegal. Only 3.6 percent were ruled legally excusable homicide (that is, self-defense).


Emory University study published in The New England Journal of Medicine (October 7, 1993)



The fecal matter collides with the air stream generator.

After Sandy Hook, there was the usual anti-gun rhetoric and resolution to do something about the growing problem of gun violence. The leeches politicians made their usual condolences to the families of the victims, and bemoaned the fact that it was just an impossible problem to solve. And, besides, the NRA told them there wasn’t any gun problem.

They never are!             Not only that, the NRA told them that the 2nd Amendment said you had a right to own weapons that could blow 40-50 people away. (And that part about a “well-regulated militia” was just an etymological misunderstanding anyway.) And, not only that, but the NRA also told them if they even looked like they were going to pretend to do something about the situation, the NRA would kill them politically the next election.And, of course, the gun-butts made their usual claims about the whole thing being faked or part of a government or “one-world” plot or something. (Here’s a link to a bunch of them, gathered together for your convenience. Be amazed by their crudity.  Laugh at their stupidity. But remember there are actual living, semi-functional idiots out there that really believe this shit.)

But even if these things were all the same, this time, it was different! This time it was 20 six-year-old kids and six teachers that died trying to defend them. THIS TIME IT WAS OUTRAGEOUS!





Now I know what the “red” stands for in “red states”.



No Wang Wayne


Wayne LaPierre on the Real Consequences of Universal Background Checks



“Just as tall trees are known by their shadows, so are good men known by their enemies” Chinese Proverbs Quote

Like every good paranoic, the NRA has “enemies”. In fact, they even have a list of those enemies. Their very own ENEMIES LIST.

The following is a brief sample of the nefarious organizations and individuals aligned against the poor little NRA. For more of the “baddies” just click on the link you just passed.

National Organizations

  • AARP
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
  • American Trauma Society
  • American Medical Association
  • American Bar Association
  • American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
  • American Nurses Association
  • American Association of Neurological Surgeons
  • American Jewish Committee
  • American Trauma Society
  • American Psychological Association
  • American Public Health Association
  • Anti-Defamation League
  • B`nai B`rith
  • Children`s Defense Fund
  • Congress of National Black Churches
  • Congress of Neurological Surgeons
  • General Federation of Women`s Clubs
  • Gray Panthers
  • League of Women Voters of the United States
  • Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
  • National Safe Kids Campaign
  • National Association of Police Organizations
  • National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
  • National Association of School Safety and Law Enforcement Officers
  • National Association of Elementary School Principals*
  • National Association of Public Hospitals
  • National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
  • National Council of La Raza
  • National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA
  • National Parent, Teachers Association
  • National Spinal Cord Injury Association
  • Police Foundation
  • Southern Christian Leadership Conference
  • United States Catholic Conference
  • United Methodist Church
  • United Church of Christ
  • YWCA of the U.S.A.


  • Maya Angelou
  • Bob Barker
  • Lauren Bacall
  • Tony Bennett
  • Christie Brinkley
  • George Clooney
  • Sean Connery
  • Sally Field
  • Doug Flutie
  • Dustin Hoffman
  • Bette Midler
  • Mary Tyler Moore
  • Leonard Nimoy
  • Julia Roberts
  • Russell Simmons
  • Britney Spears
  • Bruce Springsteen
  • Sylvester Stallone
  • Patrick Stewart
  • The Temptations
  • Vinny Testaverde
  • Shania Twain
  • Andy Williams
  • Oprah Winfrey

National Figures:

  • James E. Carter Former President
  • C. Everett Koop Former Surgeon General


  • Steve Benson Cartoonist Arizona Republic
  • Tony Auth Cartoonist Philadelphia Inquirer
  • Jim Borgman – Cartoonist Zits
  • Jimmy Breslin – Columnist Newsday
  • E.J. Dionne Jr. – Columnist Washington Post
  • Bob Herbert – Columnist NY Times
  • Mike Luckovich – Cartoonist Atlanta Journal Constitution
  • Jimmy Margulies – Cartoonist The Record (Hackensack NJ)
  • Tom Oliphant – Columnist Boston Globe
  • Mike Peters – Cartoonist Mother Goose & Grimm
  • Frank Rich – Columnist NY Times
  • Tim Toles – Cartoonist Washington Post
  • Garry Trudeau – Cartoonist Doonsbury


  • A & M Records record company
  • Ben & Jerry`s Homemade, Inc. ice cream & frozen yogurt company
  • Kansas City Chiefs pro football team
  • Kansas City Royals pro baseball team
  • Levi Strauss & Co. clothing company
  • Sara Lee Corporation food company
  • St. Louis Rams pro football team
  • Time Warner Inc. publishing, film and music recording company

Media Outlets

  • Capital Cities/ABC
  • Bell Atlantic-D.C.
  • The Christian Publishing Society
  • Columbia Broadcasting Service
  • Corporation For Public Broadcasting/ PBS Television
  • Cox Newspapers
  • Gannett News Service
  • Johnson Publishing Company, Inc.
  • Knight-Ridder Newspapers
  • Miami Herald
  • Los Angeles Times
  • McCall`s Magazine
  • Motorcycle Cruiser Magazine
  • National Broadcasting Company
  • Newsweek, Inc.
  • Rolling Stone Magazine
  • The New York Times Corporation
  • Time Magazine
  • Times-Mirror Corporation
  • The Baltimore Sun
  • The Tribune Company
  • Washington Post

“Our friends show us what we can do; our enemies teach us what we must do.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Quote

I Quit

The NRA may be the biggest tissue tiger out there, but they’re not the only or even the badassiest (Is that a word? Well, it should be!) There’s even quirkier groups out there that make the NRA seem like Neville Chamberlain. (For all you baggers out there, that means appeasers.)

  • Second Amendment Foundation
  • Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms
  • National Assn for Gun Rights (It’s been accused several times of being a scam. Don’t know if it is or not. Don’t give a damn.)
  • Gun Owners of America

Speaking of Gun Owners of America, here are a couple of clips featuring its president, Larry Pratt. He was a guest on “Talk to Solomon”, Stan Solomon’s wing-nut radio program.

Pratt took the opportunity to expose Obama’s secret plans to create a private black army to kill white people. Oh yah, and he’s going to confiscate guns and send hundreds of thousands of Americans to prison. (Or maybe those concentration camps that FEMA has been building?)

“That will happen quickly and they will wipe those people out to set an example. I believe they will put together a racial force to go against an opposite race resistance, basically a black force to go against a white resistance, and then they will claim anyone resisting the black force they are doing it because they are racist.”

Of course, the white man is ready for this:

“people are setting up phone-trees all over the place” in case Obama goes through with his plans to “take down the internet.”“If Obama can take your guns away he can take your car, he can take your home, he can take your bank account, he can take your very life,”

Anyway, this clip covers the “private black army”

And this clip covers the upcoming gun confiscations.


This is where I differ from the “liberal” point of view, although to many I’m sure I’m the “L” word. (No! Not that one. I’m not female.)


Baring all this in mind and being the great compromiser that I am, I’ve come up with a solution that should more or less satisfy almost everybody from 2nd Amendment nuts to the anti assault crowd. (In other words: it’ll probably piss everybody off.)

It’s very simple. At the time of the 2nd Amendment, the “arms” they were referring to were mostly American Longrifles, and I seriously doubt that any one of the “Founding Fathers” ever envisioned 100 round ammo magazines let alone  800 r.p.m. machine guns.

Therefore in the spirit of both the letter and the intent of the 2nd Amendment, a U.S. citizen may possess as many of these as they can afford.Kentucky's

They run about $30,000 each, so stock up now and avoid the rush and resultant shortages. Because you know every bagger wants to be true to the Constitution (At least to the parts they like.) and will stock up.

As for fighting off the pesky “One-world, socialist, honkey-hatin’, US government”, a Kentucky longrifle is just as effective as an AR-15. Speaking of which, here’s a knee slapper for you. 2nd Amendment nuts actually think that this



  • Cartridge: .223 Remington, 5.56 NATO
  • Rate of fire: 800 rounds/min (fully automatic versions only)
  • Muzzle velocity: 975 m/s (3,200 ft/s)
  • Effective range: 400–600 m (avg 547 yd)

will defend their “freedom” to be jackasses against this

M1 Abrams

M1A2 Abrams

  • Armor: Hull (turret) – 600 (780 mm) mm vs APFSDS, 800 mm (1,060 mm) vs HEAT
  • Main armament: 120 mm L44 M256 smoothbore cannon with 42 rounds
  • Effective range: 8,000 meters (8,700 yd)
  • Secondary armament: 1 × .50-caliber (12.7 mm) M2HB heavy machine gun with 900 rounds; 2 × 7.62 mm (.308) M240 machine guns with 8,800 rounds (1 pintle-mounted, 1 coaxial)
  • Effective range: 2286 meters (2,500 yd) & 1,800 m (1,980 yd)

or this:

Apache on the warpathAH-64 Apache

  • Main armament: AGM-114D Longbow Hellfire air-to-surface missiles
  • Effective range: 12 kilometers (7 miles)
  • Secondary armament: M230 chain gun with 1,200 rounds of ammunition.
  • Rate of fire: 650 rounds/min
  • Effective range: 1,500 m (1,640 yd)

Too bad there won’t be enough left of the “freedom fighters” to bury. (Well, not too bad.)


And lastly, I’m not going to call for a banning of “assault weapons” because I really don’t know what one is, and after reading several definitions, neither does anyone else. Everyone seems to have a definition that benefits their side over the opposition. There’s a federal definition that includes a bayonet mount which doesn’t make too much sense unless you replace “assault” with “war”. It’s kind of like





The following has nothing to do with the coming post. I just parked it here till I could find a place for it.


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