Wingnut Binds Anti-Trump Demons And Saves ‘Murica!

Rick Wiles has had a wild week.

It was just a couple of days ago [7/2/17] that I covered his brain(?)storm of an idea that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer,” aka “Rump.”) should grant Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio a pardon for his conviction for Criminal Contempt and hire him to run the Department of Homeland Security. (Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration.)

And then, as a public dooty, (Not a misspelling!) the Rickster alerted the nation of the vile “Deep State Goon Squad” that’s been going around, beating up poor politicians.

As evidence, he cited John McCain’s stitches above his eye, George Bush Sr. choking on a pretzel, (Little) Dick Cheney’s busted lip, Harry Reid’s eye injury and Colin Powell’s broken arm. (Or was it a broken leg?)

What I do recall, through the years, is how many national politicians have had injuries that, to me, were suspicious. Maybe all of these are coincidences, or maybe they’re not. Maybe there is a shadow government that roughs up the politicians when they don’t do all the dirty, evil things that they want done.

Among other “Deep State” dirty deeds: they sent the Capitol Police Containment and Emergency Response Team to the wrong location during the attack on a GOP congressional baseball practice.

Wiles claimed this was intentionally done to “give the gunman more time” to kill as many Congressmen as possible.

Then Ricky went and saved ‘Murica. (Whatta guy!)

It was laborious endeavor, but somebody had to do it! (It took him a whole five minutes!)

Being a “Khristian” (as opposed to “Christian”) prophet…profit, he knew exactly what to do. Simply bind the demonic spirits that are bent on destroying Hair Fuhrer and starting a civil war.

I’ll let the Rickster explain. (As only he, Alex Jones, Jim Bakker and a few others can.)

These are demonic spirits attempting to start a civil war in this country. If they think that they are going to succeed in removing the president of the United States and this country is not going to erupt into a civil war, these people are totally deluded and full of pompous pride. They will destroy the country and they cannot be allowed to do it.

They are acting under the spirit of Lucifer and therefore we, the church, have authority … [to] bind these devils and let’s loose angels to protect the president.

We bind every demonic, evil, wicked, satanic spiri. We bind all of those demonic spirits that are operating in the White House, in the Congress, in the intelligence agencies, in the Pentagon, anywhere in this nation to destabilize the president of the United States and to cause our government to collapse. We bind those evil spirits and we render them paralyzed.

Now, why didn’t I think of that?…(Oh yeah, because “demonic spirits” are fig newtons of an addlepated mind.)

But WAIT! There’s more. Our Rickster’s not just a “3-trick jackass!” (He’s at least a “4.”)

Not content with saving the nation, (or at least his version of it) Ricky decided to tackle a really BIGLY YUUGE problem: cleaning up the mess that masquerades as the “White House.” But not to worry, he knows exactly what to do. He’s gonna “PRAY IT AWAY!”

At this point, a bit of context is in odor…er order.

You see the WH disfunction isn’t caused by leaks or tweets or incompetence. Nosiree! It’s because there’s fighting between factions. For instance, there’s “The Good Guys.” That would be Bannon and Flynn and their buds. And, on the other side, you’ve got “The Bad Guys.” You know, pointy-headed intelligence people, diplomats, Democrat moles, and most especially, National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

It seems that McMaster has a nasty habit of firing some “Good Guys” for super-silly reasons like bias, bigotry or downright incompetence.

Well, Ricky’s had it!

I’m fed up with putting up with this stuff. From now on we go on the offensive in the spirit and we become warriors against this evil force and we call upon the name of the God of this universe and we ask Him to come and fight for us and defeat these wicked people.

Not only that, but the “Holy Spirit” (aka “Sacred Spook”) told him personally that McMaster had to go because he’s an evil globalist. trying to destroy our gearless leader.

Father, we ask that you remove Gen. McMaster from the White House as director of national security. Let this be done quickly as a show of your force, as a show of your intervention in the affairs of this country

Personal note to the Rickster: You might want to change your supplier for your tinfoil toupees, your current ones seem to leak a lot.

He’s done,” Wiles said. “I believe that with all my heart and mind.”

Stay tuned!

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Did Ann Coulter Help Write Trump’s Anti-Muslim Immigration Policy?

Ann Coulter (aka “The Wicked Witch of the NE”) is back in the news cycle again.

Today’s [7/10/17] issue of “New York Magazine” has some excerpts from Joshua Green’s new book, “Devil’s Bargain.” While the book is mostly about Steve Bannon’s influence over Donald Trump, there is a very interesting part about Ms Coulter.

When Trump came under fire because his campaign hadn’t produced a single policy paper, Bannon arranged for [Sam] Nunberg and Ann Coulter, the conservative pundit, to quickly write a white paper on Trump’s immigration policies. When the campaign released it, Coulter, without disclosing her role, tweeted that it was “the greatest political document since the Magna Carta.”

This isn’t the first time Trump has depended on Coulter’s racist views to rev up his rhetoric.

As Peter Reinart put it in “The Atlantic” back in June, 2016:

The secret of Trump’s success, she argues, has been ideological. He recognized that “Americans,” by which she mostly means Republicans, “are homesick.” They don’t just oppose immigration because they believe it depresses wages and strains government services. They’re homesick for a whiter America, an America that was once truly free because “it’s not in the Anglo-Saxon character either to take orders or to give them.” (Never mind about slavery.) Since 1965, however, when Lyndon Johnson signed legislation allowing more immigration from Latin America, Asia, and Africa, the United States has been, according to Coulter in In Trump We Trust, overrun by “illiterate peasants … who can be instructed to learn certain symbols and bloc-vote for the Democrats.” In response, Democrats, along with rich Republicans, keep the doors open to non-European immigration, and thus America has grown “browner” and “shorter.” (That’s Coulter’s description from Adios America). Corruption rises. So does terrorism and rape.

The only thing that surprises me out of all of this is that Trump didn’t put her in charge of Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS).

Stay Tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Gage Skidmore

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Poor Trump! Picked On Because He’s A White Dude

Trump -DonkeyHoteyRush (Has anybody seen my meds?) Limbaugh has figured out the problem with Donald Trump’s (aka “Herr Rump,” aka “Duh Fuhrer”) presidency.

It isn’t that he’s a bigoted, narcissistic, autocrat wannabe, who has the mental maturity of a five-year-old and totally out of his depth. Nah, nothing like that. The problem is, that he’s WHITE! (Gasp! Who knew? All this time I thought he was orange!)

You see, according to Limbough’s  thinking, (I can’t believe I’m using “Limbaugh” and “thinking” in the same sentence.) Herr Rump wouldn’t have any problems if only he were Black like Obama. (Technical point: Obama’s only half Black, but according to the right-wing mental midgets, if you have more than two drops of blood originating in Africa, you’re Black, baby!)

You all remember how congress and the press bent over backwards to give the “Big O” everything he wanted. Well, Pepperidge Farm, I mean Rush Limbaugh remembers.

[Obama was] the first African-American president. You have everybody falling all over themselves to acknowledge that, to reward that. Obama was going to get everything he wanted in the first year because if anybody opposed it, they were going to be accused of being a racist or bigot or who knows what.

Oh, and all this nonsense about the Trump-Putin connection? According to the “missing meds man,”

It’s absurd. There is no evidence. Zilch. Zero. Nada…Who is driving this business that the Russians hacked the elections? It’s the Democrat [SIC] Party, it’s Hillary, it’s Obama, it’s all those people who just can’t accept they lost.

Featured Image: DonkeyHotey

Pat Robertson: If You Find Trump Revolting, You’re Revolting Against God! (Video)

Crazy Uncle Pat is at it again! Never one to let a controversy go by unscathed, the poster child(?) for senility weighed in on “The Russian Connection” scandal.

Ignoring the fact that Flynn’s phone calls to the Russian Ambassador boarded on, or over, the treason line, Robertson, claimed the intelligence community was out to get Flynn. According to Uncle Pat, they were specifically monitoring Flynn’s phone calls.

Actually, U.S. intelligence agencies routinely monitor the communications of Russian diplomats. The problem for Flynn is that the then future National Security Advisor didn’t know enough about national security to know that.

Robertson doesn’t believe the intelligence agencies were going rogue to pick on Flynn. Not by the hair on your chinny, chin chin! The instigators of the plot were the usual suspects (of the tinfoil turban crowd). It was Democrats, liberal government officials and (of course) the media.

Let me tell you! Uncle Pat had more than a few things to say about that and the “grand conspiracy” to bring down Trump and his crew. For starters, he pulled out the “good(?) book.”

The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the Lord and against his anointed,” Robertson said that those challenging Trump are really fighting against God. – Psalm 2:2

Then, of course, he added his own twisted take on the situation.

I think, somehow, the Lord’s plan is being put in place for America and these people are not only revolting against Trump, they’re revolting against what God’s plan is for America. These other people have been trying to destroy America. These left-wingers and so-called progressives are trying to destroy the country that we love and take away the freedoms they love. They want collectivism. They want socialism. What we’re looking at is free markets and freedom from this terrible, overarching bureaucracy. They want to fight as much as they can but I think the good news is the Bible says, “He that sits in the heavens will laugh them to scorn,” and I think that Trump’s someone on his side that is a lot more powerful than the media.

Well, if it was Big Daddy’s plan to inflict Trump upon this country, he must be mighty pissed at us about something.

In parting, for your listening and dancing delight, I present a minute and 23 seconds of this insanity. Enjoy!

Dan Rather Gives a Devastating Response to Trump’s ‘Alternative Facts’

Dan_Rather_media_talkAs we have been informed lately, we now live in the “Post-Truth Era.” (Shades of Orwell’s “1984!”) 

This morning, Kellyanne Conway made the rounds of the political talking heads programs to proclaim that Trump’s (aka Duh Fuhrer) bald face lies are simply “alternative facts.”

That’s very much akin to saying things like, “War is peace.” “Freedom is slavery.”  “Ignorance is strength.”

Dan Rather quickly took to his FaceBook page this morning to respond to Kellyanne Conway’s claim about “alternative facts.” To say the least, he NAILED IT!

The following are a just a few choice quotes:

These are not normal times.

When you have a spokesperson for the president of the United States wrap up a lie in the Orwellian phrase “alternative facts”…

when you have a press secretary in his first appearance before the White House reporters threaten, bully, lie, and then walk out of the briefing room without the cajones to answer a single question…

when you have a President stand before the stars of the fallen CIA agents and boast about the size of his crowds (lies) and how great his authoritarian inaugural speech was….

these are not normal times.

(I have to be honest, there are times when I wonder when we fell into the wormhole and ended up in Bizarro World.)

What can we do? We can all step up and say simply and without equivocation. “A lie, is a lie, is a lie!”

 

 (Not some damned watered down euphemism carefully couched so as to not hurt their feelings. I realize that’s a lot to ask of today’s profit driven news outlets, but it is essential!)

Facts and the truth are not partisan. They are the bedrock of our democracy. And you are either with them, with us, with our Constitution, our history, and the future of our nation, or you are against it.

The situation we are in reminds me of another Orwell quote that captures the essence of the current administration and Regressive controlled congress:

The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power, pure power.

You can check out Mr Rather’s entire post here.

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did.It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Deranged Jim Bakker Is Sure Trump Is BFF With Jesus–Will Fight Evil Women Who Kill Babies

Jim Bakker, for those of you who don’t keep up with troglodyte bible-thumpers, is a lecherous, larcenist, preacher, who spent a few years learning the finer points of “rock hockey” after being caught for his misdeeds. In 1989,he was sentenced to 45 years in the  “Stony Lonesome,” but he wrangled a sentence reduction and only served five.

Since his release, he’s back at the old con shop, mostly pushing apocalyptic visions of the future and selling survival food and gear. (Of course, if you’re “raptured,” it’s a waste of money.)

To push his predictions, products and profits, he has an online broadcast (The Jim Bakker Show), with guests like Rick Wyles, Rick Joyner, Mike Huckabee and Carl Gallups.

In fact, Mr. Gallups was a guest on last Monday’s (1/16/16) show.

Carl Gallups has all the standard right-wing filbert credentials: He’s anti-gay, claiming it will completely destroy society and lead to enslavement.

He’s against Common Core, because, in his words,

Under Common Core, our smallest children in pre-school, kindergarten, etc. will learn about “the mechanics of homosexual sex because it has now been deemed normal and natural.

He’s also a “Sandy Hook Truther” claiming that the whole thing was a government hoax to justify new firearm restrictions and the grieving parents were actors.

Is it any wonder that Trump said Gallup’s endorsement was a “great honor” during the campaign?

As I said, on Monday Bakker had Gallup as a guest on his show. During their discussion, Bakker went off the deep end (again). He claimed that a million women are getting ready to march (Women’s March on Washington) because they want to kill their babies. They also want to kill Trump, because he’s leading the battle against evil. If they do that,they’re free to “sin.”

During the program, we also found out that Trump is a “born again” Christian (If that’s true, I want to see his “re-birth certificate.”) and has been ministered to for 15 years in preparation for the presidency.

Then Gallup piped in that the “demonic powers” (aka “Globalists“) are freaking out over the possibility that Trump may be president for 8 years, followed by Pence for another 8 and Trump’s son Eric taking over after that. (Hell, if that were a possibility, everybody should be freaking out!)

If you have enough Emetrol handy, here’s a clip of the proceedings:

Pottygate? Trump’s Porta Potty Coverup

Don's JohnsI was doing a bit of story mining looking for a subject to write about when I came across a metaphor for Trump’s (aka Herr Rump) coronation. Fittingly, it centered around porta potties.

As with all things “Donald,” (at least in his fantasies) his coronation as president is going to be YUUUGE! However, from some indications, that may not be the case.

For instance, hotel bookings suggest it will be less than half the size of Obama’s – 800 thousand to 1.8 million. Also, the Women’s March on Washington, on the following day, has reserved three times the number of bus permits – 1200 to 393 at last count. (Of course, most of his supporters may be getting around in limos rather than public buses.)

Be that as it may, since Herr Rump thinks his celebration is going to be the BIGLYEST he wants the most of everything, including, it seems, places to sit and shit. And, evidently, the largest supplier of porta potties in the Washington D.C. area is a company named “Don’s Johns.”

(I can just imagine the promotion campaign: “Don’s Johns: The Presidential Porta Potty provider. The perfect solution for Trump chump rump dumps. Now equipped with “Golden Shower” receptacles.”)

Someone in the coronation committee must have thought that connecting (non-twitter generated) fecal matter with the “Golden Guy” might not be such a good idea. The order went out  to cover up the “Don’s Johns” label on the potties.DJ CU

Like most ideas generated by this clown crew, it wasn’t even quite half baked. They covered the name with blue tape that didn’t really conceal the name.

And, of course, this action did NOT go unnoticed.

WASHINGTON (AP) — It’s the great port-a-potty cover-up for President-elect Donald Trump’s

The Wall Street Journal,” “Fox News,” the “New York Daily News” and even “The Blaze” covered it.

The last word on the subject was that Don’s Johns CEO, Rob Weghorst” has sent his employees to rip the tapes off. As Mr Weghorst put it,

We like to have our names on our units.

 

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did.It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

 

Trump’s Love of Gold Extends to Showers? Who Knew?

Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore_2Oh, dem golden showers Oh dem golden showers

Dem golden showers I’se goin’ to take Because they get me off.*

*With apologies to James K Bland. (Writer of “Golden Slippers”)

Believe it or not, writing rants and raves requires a bit of research. (I don’t mind if my snarks misfire, but I HATE it if my facts do.)

Some days, when I’m trying to sift through sites like “Brietbart,” Trunews,” or “InfoWars,” it’s like trying to find a needle in a shitstack. Other days, Mother Google alone, will shower me with a plethora of golden goodies. This has been one of those days. (The latter, not the former.)

As you’ve probably heard, unless you’ve been living on that asteroid that barely missed earth last Monday (1/9/16), Donald Trump (aka “Herr Rump, aka “Duh Fuhrer-to-be”) has reportedly been engaging in some naughty, naughties with several Soviet strumpets.

He’s accused of a lot of other nefarious acts, some of which border on TREASON! (Some may even sneak over the border.) However, humanity being what humanity is, it’s the sexual highjinks (lowjinks?) that have hit the headlines. (This one included.)

Since political, religious and sexual picadillos are my passion, (as well as great fodder for posts) I decided to throw my cent and a half worth in.

As I inferred before, research on this was easy peasy! Here’s what I mean:15940786_1579009972112697_127471616537975328_n“trump supporters regret voting for him”

This one got about 1,220,000 results in 0.50 seconds. Of course there are a lot of causes for voter regret and a lot of them have nothing to do with whizzing. (Come to think about it, I wonder if that’s how he maintains his “golden glow.”) Several of these references go back days or weeks.

“trump shower pee”

This one might be a bit confusing because he didn’t pee in the shower. (At least, not that I know of. And, to be honest, I don’t want to “know of.”) He was showered on the bed, which gives a whole new dimension to “wet the bed.”

“trump pee”

This one brought up a number of interesting headlines, including my favorite: “Golden showers’ rain on Trump’s victory parade in a pee-for-all scandal

“gopocalypse”

Lest you think I snuck this one in to keep my boss happy…..(Well, actually, I did.) Although, we did do a post on it a couple days ago.

“trump pee party”

This was used in the headlines of a number of posts. Not sure if that was the best they could think of, or they were Lewis Carroll fans.

“did trump pee on hookers?”

Questions in headlines always draw more clicks. (That’s one reason I used two in mine.) However, as far as I know, it was the other way around. This falls under misleading, and to be honest, I’m not a big fan of “misleading.”

“trump pee pants”

I’m not sure about that. Maybe he depends on “Depends.” Interestingly, (at least to me) this brought up a link to GOPocalypse’s aforementioned post: The Top 15 Responses To Trump’s Golden Shower Bombshell That Will Surely Make You Pee A Little Too

“donald trump pee in hotel”

As much as I don’t mind being unfair to Herr Rump, this one pushes it a bit. I mean, haven’t we all peed in a hotel?

“keith olbermann trump video”

Not quite sure if this was a good search inquiry. Keith does videos about Trump a couple times a week lately.

Anyway, all this should give you a sample of the various search terms used to pursue the salacious details. (Not to mention, give me a post of approximately 600 words.)

In parting, let me leave you with the immortal words of my grandpappy:

It’s better to be pissed off, than pissed on!

Nate Silver Projects a Tsunami in November

Donald_Trump_and_Hillary_Clinton_during_United_States_presidential_election_2016Nate Silver has the best record around for calling electoral college results in presidential elections. In 2008, he correctly called 50 of the 51 states’ electoral college results. The 51st “state” was Washington, D.C. (He missed Indiana by 1%.) In 2012, he called all 51 correctly.

What makes Nate so successful is that he goes beyond poll averaging and uses probability theory. And no, I’m not going to go into the details of probability theory, this post is going to be nerdy enough with all the numbers and “weighting” and the different types of poll forecasts. Being a non math major myself, I’m going to try to explain all this in language real people speak. If you’re into esoterica, I’ll provide some links so you can nerd-out to your heart’s delight.

As to the “weighting” I referred to above, that can be explained easily: ALL POLLS ARE NOT CREATED EQUALLY! Different pollsters have different histories when it comes to accuracy and different pollsters have different biases. (Kind of explains those commissioned by Bullshit Mtn, as well as some others.) Nate takes those factors into consideration when he “weights” his polls. For the nerdy among you, you can check out those ratings here.

If you check out Nate’s projection web page, you’ll find three sets of projections;

  1. “Polls only” is based only on polls from a particular state; for example, only polls of New Hampshire are used in the New Hampshire forecast.
  2. “Polls plus” is based on state polls, national polls and endorsements.
  3. “If the election were held today” (I think you can figure out this one all by yourself.)

Ok, enough preamble, let’s get to the good stuff.

Yesterday, (6/29/16) Nate released his first projection for the 2016 general election. If you’re a Dem, it’s a doozy! If you’re a Regressive, not so much and if you’re a Trump (aka “hairball”) chump, you might look for a convenient cliff to take a flying leap off of.

If the election were held today, (6/3o/16) Hillary would get 47.8% of the vote, compared to hairball getting 42.1%, giving her an 81.3% chance of winning the election, as opposed to hairballs chances of 18.7%. She would rake in 338.3 electoral votes to hairball’s 199.1 and Libertarian, Gary Johnson’s .6%. (Yeah, I know electoral votes don’t come in tenths, but we’re talking mathematical probability here.)

In the “polls only” projection, the numbers are 49.0% – 41.8% (popular vote) and 352.4 -184.4 (electoral vote); giving her an 80.2% to 19.7% advantage.

The “polls plus” projection looks a bit better for hairball, but not much. There it’s 48.7% – 44.4% (p.v.) and 318.0 – 219.8 (e.c.) giving her a 73.8% – 28.2% chance of winning.

But, what’s really interesting in the projections are this cycle’s “swing states.” A couple of the “usual suspects” are there: Ohio and Florida, but this time around, Missouri, Arizona and North Carolina make the list, with Georgia not too far behind. (The times, they are a changin’.)

Now, bear in your mind (if you’ve got the room up there) that things do change. In politics a week is a year. Therefore, projections also change. Nate updates his every day. If you want to keep up, here’s the page.

Stay tuned!

Featured Image Photo Credits: Gage Skidmore (Donald Trump), Gage Skidmore (Hillary Clinton), Krassotkin (derivative) Licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Was Teddy Caught Canoodling With Women Not Named Mrs. Cruz?

screenshot_2016-03-24_21.23.11Shades of Johnny Edwards! It looks like everybody’s favorite supermarket tabloid has struck again! The National Enquirer‘s latest edition features an exposé on the Regressives favorite creep, creepin’ around on his “better half.” (Or, in Ted Cruz’s case, his better three quarters.)

The story quotes a “Washington insider” who claims,

Private detectives are digging into at least five affairs Ted Cruz supposedly had…The leaked details are an attempt to destroy what’s left of his White House campaign!

The story purports that the “other women” include a sex worker, (Doing the “horizontal mambo” with Cruzy would definitely be considered work.) a “high-placed D.C. attorney” and a “foxy political consultant.”

Now, I am NOT a fan of the Enquirer or any of its ilk! However, it has been proven correct in its scandal coverage numerous times. The aforementioned John Edwards case is just one example.

As to the identity of the “Washington insider,” I have a sneaky suspicion that it’s someone aligned with the The DONALD.

The suspicion is based on two factors:

  1. UntitledThe 2nd grade playground fight between Cruzy and the hairball over who has the larger “3rd leg” and who beds the sexier babe. (His Hairness wins the latter argument hands down and while I have no knowledge concerning the former, I suspect that they are both lacking in that arena.)
  2. The “foxy political consultant” is reputed to be tRump’s spoxspinner, Katrina Pierson. She of the bullet necklace, Muslim ban justification (“So what? They’re Muslim.“)and defender of Trump rally violence. Btw, she’s also a former organizer for Teddy.

Of course, the Cruzy crowd is denying everything, but since Politifact says 2/3rds of Teddy’s statements range from “mostly false” to ‘pants on fire,” I would suggest taking his word with a generous amount of NaCl. In any case, I have a feeling we’ll find out soon enough.

Meanwhile, the twittersphere is going bazonkers!

BTW, if turns out to be true, I’ll dump Cruz faster than Trump dumps his latest wife when he sees a supermodel upgrade.

That awkward moment when the party of family values has to choose between two adulterers to serve as the party’s nominee

Breaking: Trump claims to have had more extramarital affairs than Cruz and with much hotter mistresses.

TrusTED BusTED

Oh yeah well I heard Ted Cruz had a threeway with Irony & Karma.

Stay tuned!24702567551_f26e6d46e0_b