Wingnut Binds Anti-Trump Demons And Saves ‘Murica!

Rick Wiles has had a wild week.

It was just a couple of days ago [7/2/17] that I covered his brain(?)storm of an idea that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer,” aka “Rump.”) should grant Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio a pardon for his conviction for Criminal Contempt and hire him to run the Department of Homeland Security. (Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration.)

And then, as a public dooty, (Not a misspelling!) the Rickster alerted the nation of the vile “Deep State Goon Squad” that’s been going around, beating up poor politicians.

As evidence, he cited John McCain’s stitches above his eye, George Bush Sr. choking on a pretzel, (Little) Dick Cheney’s busted lip, Harry Reid’s eye injury and Colin Powell’s broken arm. (Or was it a broken leg?)

What I do recall, through the years, is how many national politicians have had injuries that, to me, were suspicious. Maybe all of these are coincidences, or maybe they’re not. Maybe there is a shadow government that roughs up the politicians when they don’t do all the dirty, evil things that they want done.

Among other “Deep State” dirty deeds: they sent the Capitol Police Containment and Emergency Response Team to the wrong location during the attack on a GOP congressional baseball practice.

Wiles claimed this was intentionally done to “give the gunman more time” to kill as many Congressmen as possible.

Then Ricky went and saved ‘Murica. (Whatta guy!)

It was laborious endeavor, but somebody had to do it! (It took him a whole five minutes!)

Being a “Khristian” (as opposed to “Christian”) prophet…profit, he knew exactly what to do. Simply bind the demonic spirits that are bent on destroying Hair Fuhrer and starting a civil war.

I’ll let the Rickster explain. (As only he, Alex Jones, Jim Bakker and a few others can.)

These are demonic spirits attempting to start a civil war in this country. If they think that they are going to succeed in removing the president of the United States and this country is not going to erupt into a civil war, these people are totally deluded and full of pompous pride. They will destroy the country and they cannot be allowed to do it.

They are acting under the spirit of Lucifer and therefore we, the church, have authority … [to] bind these devils and let’s loose angels to protect the president.

We bind every demonic, evil, wicked, satanic spiri. We bind all of those demonic spirits that are operating in the White House, in the Congress, in the intelligence agencies, in the Pentagon, anywhere in this nation to destabilize the president of the United States and to cause our government to collapse. We bind those evil spirits and we render them paralyzed.

Now, why didn’t I think of that?…(Oh yeah, because “demonic spirits” are fig newtons of an addlepated mind.)

But WAIT! There’s more. Our Rickster’s not just a “3-trick jackass!” (He’s at least a “4.”)

Not content with saving the nation, (or at least his version of it) Ricky decided to tackle a really BIGLY YUUGE problem: cleaning up the mess that masquerades as the “White House.” But not to worry, he knows exactly what to do. He’s gonna “PRAY IT AWAY!”

At this point, a bit of context is in odor…er order.

You see the WH disfunction isn’t caused by leaks or tweets or incompetence. Nosiree! It’s because there’s fighting between factions. For instance, there’s “The Good Guys.” That would be Bannon and Flynn and their buds. And, on the other side, you’ve got “The Bad Guys.” You know, pointy-headed intelligence people, diplomats, Democrat moles, and most especially, National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

It seems that McMaster has a nasty habit of firing some “Good Guys” for super-silly reasons like bias, bigotry or downright incompetence.

Well, Ricky’s had it!

I’m fed up with putting up with this stuff. From now on we go on the offensive in the spirit and we become warriors against this evil force and we call upon the name of the God of this universe and we ask Him to come and fight for us and defeat these wicked people.

Not only that, but the “Holy Spirit” (aka “Sacred Spook”) told him personally that McMaster had to go because he’s an evil globalist. trying to destroy our gearless leader.

Father, we ask that you remove Gen. McMaster from the White House as director of national security. Let this be done quickly as a show of your force, as a show of your intervention in the affairs of this country

Personal note to the Rickster: You might want to change your supplier for your tinfoil toupees, your current ones seem to leak a lot.

He’s done,” Wiles said. “I believe that with all my heart and mind.”

Stay tuned!

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Sheriff Joe Arpaio In Charge Of DHS?

Sheriff, or more accurately, Ex-Sheriff, Joe Arpaio got some bad news this week. A mean old judge decided that violating a court order is a NO-NO, even if you are “America’s Toughest Sheriff!” (That’s the way Sheriff Joe thought of himself. Others would have used a different adjective!)

As a reward for blatantly not doing what he was told to do and doing what he was told not to do (aka “Criminal Contempt“), Sheriff Joe gets an all-expense-paid vacation at the local “Stony Lonesome Inn” for up to 6 months.

The good thing for Sheriff Joe (and the sad thing for the rest of us) is that the man that knocked him out at the ballot box, closed the “tent city” jail. (Sitting in a tent on a 110 degree summer day gets awfully close to “cruel & unusual.”) Also gone are those pretty pink jumpsuits Sheriff Joe liked his prisoners to wear. (Sheriff Joe sure must like pink…..)

Maybe they could make an exception and bring those back, just for Joe. (He’d be more comfortable in familiar surroundings.)

Now, the filbert-fringe types claim this is all a Dem plot to defame a true defender of ‘Murica! (At least the “white” part of it.) They’ve been hoping that the feds would drop the whole thing now that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer”) has taken over. Didn’t happen!

Fear not! Rick Wyles has come up with a llollapa-LOSER of a brain(?)storm.

You may remember the Rickster from such gems as:

There’s a hell of a lot more, but you get the picture.

Anyway, now that it’s too late to get the case dropped, it’s time to get a pardon from Hair Fuhrer. (Maybe as part of a group thingy when our gearless leader pardons himself, his family, staff and any Russians involved.) That would free up Sheriff Joe to take the next step up the ladder. (And avoid singing the “Iron Bar Blues.”)

What would that next step be?” you may ask.

Isn’t it obvious? But here, I’ll let the Rickster tell you:

I have an idea. In addition to giving him a presidential pardon … President Trump, if you want to stand for justice and do something to strike against the deep state, please nominate Sheriff Arpaio to be the next secretary of Homeland Security.

The position will put him in charge of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, along with the U.S. Border Patrol Agency. Your friends will shout with excitement and gratitude and your enemies will howl in misery, like wounded wolves.

Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration. As for America, it’s one of the last things we need!

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Gage Skidmore
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

Wingnut: Junior’s Russian Meeting A Dark State Plot To Impeach Trump

End times “Khristian” (‘Cause, he sure as hell ain’t “Christian!”) troglodyte, Rick Wiles, has this whole dang thing about Junior Trump’s “Russian Adoption” meeting all figured out.

Don’t believe your lyin’ eyes when you read the emails. Don’t believe your lyin’ ears when you hear Junior’s various changing stories about the shits-ka-bob!

Believe the man who said Big Daddy would throw a fireball at us because “marriage equality.” Believe the man who said Target Restroom Policy Will Spark Nuclear War. Believe the man who said Obama Killed Scalia As A Pagan Human Sacrifice (And, he had the numerology to prove it.)

Believe that man!

Now that I’ve established the Rickster’s bona fides, on to his latest oral bowel movement in his very own words. (Or, maybe his script writer’s.)

 

I smell a skunk in the garden. It was a set-up. The dark state feared Donald Trump would defeat the queen of sleaze, Hillary Clinton; they saw the massive, enthusiastic crowds standing in line for hours to see their hero, Donald Trump. They also saw the empty seats at Hillary Clinton rallies. The deep state feared they couldn’t steal enough votes on election day to rig the election in Hillary’s favor and what did they do? They immediately began working on Plan B: Sabotage the Trump presidency if he won in November.

The deep state concocted this fake narrative over a year ago and started planting fake evidence to be used later to bolster the claim. The meeting between the Russian lawyer and Donald Trump Jr. was part of the scheme to plant evidence—fake evidence—in 2016 that could be used in 2017 to impeach Donald Trump as a Russian stooge!

You have got to give the dark state credit for being creative. They are masterful liars.

WOW! Just WOW! Think about that!

The “Deep State,” (Definitions of which, change, depending on the circumstances.) got several people with connections to Putin or Russian intelligence agencies (Some rather strong.) to cooperate with our intelligence agencies (The definition of “Deep State,” in this circumstance.)

Soooo, what’s Putin’s part in this? Something along this scale of scam, perpetrated by people at that level? And he didn’t know about it, let alone approve it? Believe that, and I’ve got this bridge in NYC, you might be interested in purchasing.

And the “Deep State” could tell he was going to win because of his YUGE crowds? (Bernie had bigger and he lost.) And, they couldn’t rig enough Hillary votes? Trump, hisownself, claims they did, and he wouldn’t lie would he?

(There will be a slight pause while you finish laughing your ass off.)

But surely, the Rickster had proof of all of this! I mean, he wouldn’t just pull it out of his tinfoil toupee, would he?

COULD BE!

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

 

Was Flynn Forced Out By ‘Devil-Worshiping, Luciferian, Demon-Possessed Maniacs?’

Heronimus BoschWelcome to the weird, warped, wacky world of Rick Wiles. This is a world straight out of the fever dream of John of Patmos or maybe Hieronymus Bosch. The Rickster runs a nut-job radio program called “Trunews.” (“Tru”, it ain’t and as for “news,” it would only be that if he ever got anything right.) 

In the past, he has regaled us with such knee-slappers as,

Yesterday (2/14/17) on his show, the Rickster had another brain fart. (Either that or his tinfoil toupee slipped off again.)

Rick Wiles shares the disturbing mechanics behind the spiritual melee currently in full swing for control of President Trump’s cabinet and the fate of Christianity worldwide. Rick also discusses the mad ramblings echoing through the Democratic party, and reminds the audience of the communist origins behind the revolt for America’s soul.

I’m running low on Emetrol, so I’m just going to cover a portion of the program. If you’ve stocked up, click on the “show” link above. (RDT not responsible for any mental or medical malfunctions resulting from listening to his ravings.)

Here’s a short run-down of some of the bovine meadow muffins from the show:

  • Flynn was dumped because he knew about Hillary’s child molestation ring. (Can you say “Pizzagate.”) Of course, that only existed in the fevered brows of the Tinfoil Turban set, but hey, why let a thoroughly debunked conspiracy go to waste?
  • Devil-worshiping, Luciferian, demon-possessed maniacs” have formed a “criminal cabal [that is] running this nation and much of the world” that allows them to engage in “child trafficking, child molestation, child rape, [and] child murder.
  • Many of the key officials, elected and appointed, and in corporate board rooms and in Hollywood and in New York City, they are part of a global child molestation ring,”
  • Hillary is now “relishing in the fact that they brought down General Flynn because he knows what they are and what they’re doing.”

Here’s a short clip from the program. Hopefully, a small dose won’t be too lethal.

I’d say “stay tuned,” but I’m not that much of a sadist.

Featured Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

2015: The Year In Dumb Wing-Nut Prophecies And Predictions

J-Hagee-628x356Well, despite the predictions of various dire disasters for 2015, we’ve somehow managed to survive. Most of the catastrophes were supposed to happen because Big Daddy was pissed about marriage equality or the Iran deal or something. And, of course, some of them were going to be brought on by our Islamic, foreign-born presidential pretender.

The first prediction of note came in January, courtesy of “Judge” Jeanine Pirro, one of the few Bullshit Mtn bimbos with an I.Q. bigger than her breast size. (She useta was a district attorney.) There are times, however, when she seems to have undergone I.Q. reduction surgery.

On the 11th of the month, the “Judge” predicted that the Big O was going to inflict Sharia Law on the unsuspecting citizens of ‘Murica.

And make no mistake – as sure as I’m talking to you – there will be efforts to limit our First Amendment – our free speech – to comply with Sharia blasphemy laws which call for death to those who slander the prophet Mohammad.4243bd7c914c026192e00c7e032ff30f

I’ve never been too sure what was so upsetting about Sharia Law to this country’s religious wing-nuts. It’s almost exactly the same as Evangelical Law and the majority of the Religious Wrong is all for that. Both are based on Old Testament religious laws. After all, Jews, Christians & Muslims are all “Children of the Book.”

In April, a Texas Megachurch Pastor, John Hagee stated that since there were four blood moons plus a solar eclipse this year, that would herald the apocalypse or the rapture or the 2nd coming.

God sends plant Earth a signal that something big is about to happen! He’s controlling the Sun and the moon right now to send our generation a signal, but the question is, are we getting it?

No, the man in the moon isn’t hemorrhaging the red stuff. A blood moon is called that because in a total eclipse, the moon turns red as it passes through earth’s shadow. Btw, in scientific terms four blood moons in a year is called a “lunar tetrad”. The fact that there are four total eclipses this year is unusual but not unique. You can go 300 years without one, or as in the next 300 years, have 17 of them. (Eight in this century.)

Later in the month, he amended that to say that it meant the world would face an economic crisis in the fall.

Strangest thing, but that didn’t happen either. Maybe Big Daddy was too busy on Kolob to get around to screwing with the economic system, or maybe he forgot to leave himself a note in his daytimer.

As you may recall, back in the spring, SCOTUS (aka “The Not-So Supreme Court”) was trying to decide if the LGBT Community had the same rights, marriage-wise, as the “Straights.” This evoked all sorts of warnings of impending gloom and doom.

However, my favorite nuttycism emanated from End Times broadcaster Rick Wiles. Claiming the Holy Ghost was speaking through him, he said there was fire in the future. The Sacred Spook wasn’t sure if it was rioting, war or a fireball from space, but it was something.

America will be brought to its knees, there will be pain and suffering at a level we’ve never seen in this country. The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.

This one has me a bit puzzled. Darwin knows, there are uncounted trillions of fireballs in space. (We call them “stars.”) But B.D. couldn’t spare even one to make Rick an honest man? Even after his sent the spook to spread the warning? Of course it could just be a case of Rick’s tinfoil receptor being mis-tuned and he was picking up an alien version of the Star Wars saga. In any case, we’re still here, so the matrix is still up and running.

Which brings us to (drum roll, please)@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

JADE HELM 15

This event spawned so many predictions, prophesies and conspiracy theories, you’d need a tome to list them all. The following are just a brief sampling:

Jade Helm 15 came and went and turned out to be exactly what the military said it was going to be: A military war game to enhance military capability in modern warfare. Texas is still Texas. “Real ‘Muricans” are still roaming free. Walmart is still screwing its workers. And, not a Chinese warrior or space alien in sight. (1,500 mph mag-lev trains would have been nice though.)

Must have been a hell of a sale on tinfoil, somewhere!

Oh, and before I forget. Although Jade Helm may have been a bust, tinfoil-toupee wise, that didn’t deter Rick (Fireball From The Sky) Wiles from predicting that Jade Helm 16 (If that’s what the next war game will be called.) will…. well, I’ll let him tell you.

I believe that they would level the state of Texas, I believe they would use an EMP against Texas…Write that down for the record, this is a warning from the Holy Spirit.

Kinda makes me wonder if the spirits he communicates with are gaseous or liquid?

By this time, fall rolled around and True Believers braced themselves for the prophesied calamities. Religious Wrong fixture Jonathan Cahn, predicted that September 13th would be America’s “DAY OF JUDGEMENT!” Stock market crash and all!

Jim Bakker, back from his extended vacation at the Iron Bar Resort, agreed about September 13’s crash. Well, either that or a typhoon, a bombing, or an earthquake. He knew this because Big Daddy laid it on the line for him. (No mere Sacred Spook, but the HIM, himself.)

Once again, nuttin’ happened! Cahn then claimed that any disaster that happened between September 2015 and September 2016 would validate his predictions.

Rick Wiles added to the pile by stating that the good(?) Pastor Hagee had been right about predicting the economic collapse. Ricky predicted that between September 13 and October 9, the stock market would drop 30%. Pastor Hagee, not to be upstaged, elevated that to 50%.

Cahn pooped up again, stating that Big D. was soooo pissed off over SCOTUS’s gay rights ruling and the White House’s LGBT Pride Month celebration with rainbow lights, that his was going to sic Hurricane Joaquin on Washington D.C.

Ricky chimed in by adding the sinful city of New York to the target list. (I guess “Spookie” had his ear again.) Hurricane Joaquin didn’t hit either one!

These were just a few of the year’s ravings about impending doom. However, I’m not writing a book and by this point, I think you’ve got the point.

And, just think. There’s a brand new year for them to prophecy about.

Stay tuned! (And, make sure you’re stocked up on popcorn.)

Wing-nut Cretin Suggests UCC Murders Were A ‘False Flag’

8933634_GI’M PO’d!

My regular readers know that I usually try to tamper my anger with humor, but there are some situations in which “anal pit” just doesn’t do the job. This is one of those situations!

As I’ve stated in earlier posts, I start off every morning doing some “story mining,” looking for subjects to write about for “American News X“, as well as posts that the readers of my “Grouchy’s Grumbles” FaceBook page might be interested in.

This morning, I ran across a post on Rick Wiles latest oral bovine bowel movement on the UCC killings being a “false flag” operation. While the families and friends of the victims are mourning the loss of their loved ones, slimy cretins like Rick Wiles slither out of their holes to spread their virulent filth. I’m a firm believer in free speech, but there are responsibilities that accompany that freedom.

This isn’t the first time some gun-butt troglodyte has tried to claim that mass murders were fake or “false flag” operations. A couple of years ago, I wrote a series on gun violence, the NRA and the misinterpreted 2nd Amendment. In my “Collateral Damage” post, I sited instances of their efforts in trying to spread this filth to sully the Columbine, Virgina Tech ans Fort Hood massacres, among others. In some, such as the Aurora killings, there were even competing conspiracy theories. From mind control to a black box job to the inevitable “It’s Obama’s fault!” There were even claims that Sandy Hook was a hoax.

On Rick’s Tuesday edition of “Trunews,” he did a “just asking the question” mouth fart about the Umpqua Community College shooting.
Several members of the ‘Trunews’ team and I were talking this morning in the office about the mysterious appearance of similar looking persons at the scenes of recent mass shootings. Could they be the same people? Could they be paid crisis actors and actresses? Is there a secret death squad at work in this country staging mass shootings in order to build public support for disarming the American people of their firearms? Are we living in the matrix of deception?

Since Rick was “just asking questions,” he probably thinks he can slime his way out responsibility for this hot steaming pile of bovine bowel movement. He can’t! His low-information listeners won’t hear the question marks and he damn well knows it!

He finished up the program by calling Obama a Muslim jihadist who was “clandestinely placed in the White House by foreign powers to dismantle the United States of America.”

12039363_912371675523708_2398835788619957647_nThis isn’t the first time I’ve run across his oral-fecal-eminations. Back in May, he was claiming that if SCOTUS didn’t kill marraige equality, Big Daddy would rain fire down upon us.

The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.”

Still waiting on that one, but I think it was supposed to happen last month.

Then in August, he said the Sacred Spook told him that Jade Helm 16 would be the conquest of Texas.

I believe that they would level the state of Texas, I believe they would use an EMP against Texas…Write that down for the record, this is a warning from the Holy Spirit.”
I think those types of statements blow away any sense of veracity. Problem is, there are thousands of knuckle-draggers that think his mouth farts are gospel. After all, his program is called “Trunews.”