Pat Robertson: Agents Searching Manafort’s Home Is ‘Outrageous’

Giving credence to the old saw, “There’s no fool like an old fool,” crazy uncle Pat strikes again!

Unless you’ve been skiing on Hoth (Watch out for the wampas!), you’ve heard about the search of the Paul Manafort manse by federal agents. Pat Robertson has and he’s NOT a happy camper. (More like a crappy hamper.)

As he put it,

Federal agents armed with a warrant broke into his home. What in the world is going on?

Now, the story of Manafort’s problems with the feds (Possible Russian collusion and money laundering, to name just a couple.) has been all over the news for months. However, in Pat’s defense, short term memory loss is one symptom of dementia.

Pat’s co-host,Terry Meeuwsen, had a thought(?),

Do you feel like when a special counsel is appointed like that and actions like that are taken, it’s almost as though something has to be found.

Pat totally agreed. As he put it, “Exactly!”

Pat seems to think it’s a “fishing expedition.” (But Rump claims it’s a “witch hunt.” Which is it? Hunting or fishing?)

Now he’s [Mueller] empowering grand juries and having search warrants of distinguished Republican’s homes, this is outrageous!

No Pat, it’s how the process works when there’s sufficient evidence that possible crimes have been committed. Oh, and utilizing a search warrent is NOT “breaking in.”

Pat’s also pretty pissed that Hair Fuhrer is out-armed in the legal battle against that nasty old Special Prosecuter. Mean Mr Mueller has a full team of experienced experts and poor little Don-Don only has two or three blowhards. (My description, not Pat’s.)

It’s like going to a knife fight armed with a stick of butter.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

h/t: Crooks & Liars

Featured Image Credit: Daniel Oines

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

Wingnut Declares War On Witches Attacking The Trumps

Cotton Mather Lives! (Or, at least his superstitious stupidity does.)

Over the last year or so, a number of troglodyte “Khristians” (As opposed to “Christian,” which they ain’t!) have seen witches coming out of the woodwork.

Last fall, a Family Research Council member, Robert Maginnis, visited Jim Bakker to spread the alarm.

I have personally met people that refer to themselves as witches, people that say they advise the senior leadership of the country. We invite within the federal government people to advise us and often some of those advisers, I think, have evil motivations, things that you and I would not approve of.

And then in February, everybody’s least favorite crazy uncle, Pat Robertson, piped in.

I read that a bunch of witches have gotten together to put a curse on Trump, and I think the Christians need to be praying for him to defend him.

Pat’s Co-Hostess, Wendy Griffith stated that “probably millions” of Christians are praying to cancel out the witches curses. She didn’t mention the “probably millions” of Americans that are praying that Trump will rot in Hell!

In June, warnings started surfacing about witches brewing something up for Summer Solstice.

Rumor had it that the majority of witches were students from Uadaguo [Wag-a-do], the African wizarding school and the event was hosted by its American counterpart, Ilvermorny. There are also unconfirmed sightings of several Hogwarts alumni, including Hermione Weasley. (Just kidding(?) about this part.)

With this cat-ass-trophy on the horizon, the president of Intercessors for America (IFA) issued an urgent call to prayer about this abhorent sacrilege. (And, he knows a thing or three about sacrilege.)

Whether or not this call for spells pans out and people act on it, we feel compelled, as the body of Christ and intercessors, to come against this evil with immediate and powerful prayer.

At one point, a pair of Roman Catholic female eunuchs even outed Katy Perry as a witch. Some unbelievers called this “

Some unbelievers called this “nunsense.” I mean, Katy may get a bit “out there” at times, but I’ve never seen her in proximity of a broom.

On the other hand, just look at all the adolescent males she’s cast a spell on.

Which brings us to the latest (But, not the greatest.) tinfoil slippage about the witchery situation.

Khristian bible beater and Rump licker extraordinaire, Lance Wallnau, has had enough of these witch curses. Lance claims that Rump is ok because sooo many people are praying for him. Besides, Lance has already prayed the impeachment away.

Oh, and Rump is already safe from a stroke as well. A few days ago, he watched fellow troglodyte, Rodney Howard Brown, pray it away.

The devil is trying to get him and his family. And I heard Rodney Howard-Browne say when he laid hands on the president, he was worried there was a stroke coming; well, we veto that stroke in Jesus’ name! That is nothing but stress and we’re breaking it off of him right now.

So, Rump is all prayed-safe, but think of poor Bevis & Butthead, Jarhead, and the rest of family.

Photo Credit: mccauleys-corner

 

 

 

 

 

People are praying for the president, but they’re not necessarily praying for his family. So right now, all those witchcraft curses that did not land on Donald Trump are trying to take out his kids, trying to take out his offspring, trying to attack anything near him.

He knows this for a fact, because he’s seen it before.

Lance remembered when a bud of his was “casting a demon out of somebody” while driving down the highway and the demon jumped right into a dog. The dog jumped out of the car and with the aid of an oncoming vehicle, morphed into a freeway flapjack!

He then went on to state,

We take authority over every hex, vex, spell, jinx, satanic curse, blood curse, every demon assigned to destroy the health of the president, to destroy the health of his family, to harass him, to vex him, to cause him to lose sleep.

In Jesus name, we veto every curse that has been brought against Donald Trump and his family and his administration.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

h/t: Right Wing Watch
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Pat Robertson: If You Find Trump Revolting, You’re Revolting Against God! (Video)

Crazy Uncle Pat is at it again! Never one to let a controversy go by unscathed, the poster child(?) for senility weighed in on “The Russian Connection” scandal.

Ignoring the fact that Flynn’s phone calls to the Russian Ambassador boarded on, or over, the treason line, Robertson, claimed the intelligence community was out to get Flynn. According to Uncle Pat, they were specifically monitoring Flynn’s phone calls.

Actually, U.S. intelligence agencies routinely monitor the communications of Russian diplomats. The problem for Flynn is that the then future National Security Advisor didn’t know enough about national security to know that.

Robertson doesn’t believe the intelligence agencies were going rogue to pick on Flynn. Not by the hair on your chinny, chin chin! The instigators of the plot were the usual suspects (of the tinfoil turban crowd). It was Democrats, liberal government officials and (of course) the media.

Let me tell you! Uncle Pat had more than a few things to say about that and the “grand conspiracy” to bring down Trump and his crew. For starters, he pulled out the “good(?) book.”

The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the Lord and against his anointed,” Robertson said that those challenging Trump are really fighting against God. – Psalm 2:2

Then, of course, he added his own twisted take on the situation.

I think, somehow, the Lord’s plan is being put in place for America and these people are not only revolting against Trump, they’re revolting against what God’s plan is for America. These other people have been trying to destroy America. These left-wingers and so-called progressives are trying to destroy the country that we love and take away the freedoms they love. They want collectivism. They want socialism. What we’re looking at is free markets and freedom from this terrible, overarching bureaucracy. They want to fight as much as they can but I think the good news is the Bible says, “He that sits in the heavens will laugh them to scorn,” and I think that Trump’s someone on his side that is a lot more powerful than the media.

Well, if it was Big Daddy’s plan to inflict Trump upon this country, he must be mighty pissed at us about something.

In parting, for your listening and dancing delight, I present a minute and 23 seconds of this insanity. Enjoy!