I swear this country is morphing into Bizarro World! Case in point: Monday morning, “end times” prophet and profiteer, Tom Horn, showed up on the “Jim Bakker Show” to claim that Donald Trump is either the Messiah or his forerunner.
Before I get into the fruit of this story, a bit of background on the nuts involved.
Those of you with longer memory spans, may recall Jim Bakker from his days as host of the PTL Club, although his then wife, Tammy Faye, (She of the bouffant hairdo and layer upon layer of makeup.) was more memorable. PTL stood for “Praise The Lord,” although, in Jim’s case, it seemed to stand for “Pass The Loot.”
In 1987, things rapidly unraveled. It was discovered that he had been paying church secretary, Jessica Hahn, to keep quiet about the time he and a fellow evangelist did the “horizontal mambo” with her after she had declined the honor! Due to the scandal, he quickly resigned from PTL.
Then, in 1988, Bakker was indicted on eight counts of mail fraud, 15 counts of wire fraud and one count of conspiracy. He was convicted on all 24 counts! He spent the next five years learning the fine points of boulder busting at several Iron Bar Inns. He was released on December 1st, 1994.
He’s now back in business as a televangelist, specializing in the coming apocalypse. Not to worry, Bakker has a store that will sell you all the food you need to survive it. (Of course, if you’re “raptured,” you probably won’t need it.)
Heritage USA closed down in 1989. Tammy Faye Divorced her husband in 1992 and married the man in charge of constructing Heritage USA the following year, after he divorced his wife. She passed away in 2007.
Tom Horn is not so well known as Bakker. (Unless you’re a member of the tinfoil toupee set.)
Horn is an ex Assembly of God bible thumper, turned “End Times” profiteer. He’s a prolific author, with book subjects ranging from extraterrestrials (Nephilim) to Jewish mysticism to the evils of Freemasonry and Catholicism to the Mayan Calendar “End of Days.” (Everybody but him, got it wrong. 2012 was just the start, 2016 is the apex.)
Horn also spreads this manure on his video podcast, Skywatch TV.
He’s HUGE on apocalyptic end times theories. And, he’ll be very happy to sell you everything you need to survive it, from pepper spray to porta potties at survivormall.com. (Once again, if you’re “raptured,” you may be wasting your money.)
Ok, the back has been grounded, on with the show.
On the Jim Baker Show, Horn claimed that Israeli rabbis (At least 12 of them.) have told him that Donald Trump is either the Messiah or the forerunner to same. According to those rabbis, Trump’s name “actually means ‘messiah.’” (Actually, it doesn’t. It’s derived from the early 16th century Middle English word, trumpen, meaning “deceive, cheat.”)
They’re sure of this because Trump is a kingly and warrior-like leader committed to protecting Israel and rebuilding the Temple of Jerusalem. Other clues include a 300 year old prophecy by a Jewish mystic that says the Messiah will come between “Oct 1st, 2016 and September 30th, 2017.” (year 5777 in the Jewish calendar)
Of course, according to those same rabbis, it’s possible that Trump isn’t the real Messiah. Evidently, the “real Messiah” has to be of the Dividic bloodline and Trump may be too Aryan. (He’s of German descent, after all.) Horn stated that the Rabbis are investigating Trump’s bloodline to see if he qualifies.
He may just be a “John the Baptist” type of forerunner. In other words, (Horn’s) Trump is “God’s messenger.” His inauguration will start the count-down to the Messiah’s appearance.
Grab some popcorn and check out the segment:
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).