Nutcake: Las Vegas Massacre Was An ISIS Operation

Wayne Allyn Root is lying again! (Or, is that “still lying?”) Now he’s claiming that the murder of 59 concert go’ers was an ISIS operation.

For those of you not familiar with this particular troglodyte, Wayne Allyn was the Libertarian candidate for Veep, back in ’08. Nowadays, he pontificates for several journalistic jewels as “Townhall” and “The Moonie Times.”

Root is a Rump smoocher! (Right cheek only. He wouldn’t be caught dead having anything to do with the left.) This is the filbert who once declared that having Trump as president was equivalent of having a lusty wife that loves to do the horizontal tango seven days a week,

In the past, he’s also regaled us with his wisdom on

  • Getting involved with feminist type females. (It seems they have a predilection for chopping off your pee-pee.)
  • Liberals being mentally ill. (We’re out of our minds and we’re headed for civil war.)
  • His gift of prophecy. It seems he correctly predicted “100 out of 100” things including the Mexico City earthquake. (Of course, he made this claim after the earthquake.)
  • The need for conservatives to hire special forces operatives who “have killed people” to destroy liberal groups. (Good ol’ 2nd Amendment solution!)

The list goes on, but you get the idea.

I’ll say one thing for the Rootster, he tries to keep current. (Keeps the old donations flowing in, don’tcha know!)

Lately, the hottest action has been the Las Vegas Massacre. Every conspiracy nutball has dreamed up his own “nefarious plot” in the battle for the Benjamins. (You didn’t think they all do this as a public service did you?)

And, credit where credit is due. Root’s come up with one of the better (It resonates well with the “tinfoil toupee” crowd.) and nuttier. (It makes absolutely no sense.)

ISIS, their fingerprints were all over this thing. This is what I said from the first second and GQ and the Washington Post and Slate magazine and Time magazine and 20 others tried to destroy me and wipe my career off the face of the earth. It really didn’t matter—I gave them the middle finger and told them to go screw themselves because I don’t care what they think.”

That was on his program on Tuesday, [10/10/18]. Of course, he didn’t have a damn bit of proof of his ISIS claim, but what’s that got to do with it?

Anyway, he was just getting started.

I have nothing to worry about so I laugh in their liberal commie faces, their liberal commie Muslim-sympathizer faces. “Screw you! Come and get me. Screw you.

Don’tcha love it when they try to toss a bunch of their “insults” in a bag even though those insults do not work well together? (I’m surprised he didn’t use “socialist-fascist.”)

They tried to destroy me and if it turns out to be ISIS, you better all lawyer up because we’re coming after you with the best lawyer gunslingers in the world. I’ll be hiring Donald Trump’s lawyers to come after you and destroy you. I will own the Washington Post [for] the way you tried to slander me when all I did was report the truth.

Root seems to be a bit confused. (Whodathunkit?) First he says he’going get “the best lawyer gunslingers in the world.” Then he goes on to say “I’ll be hiring Donald Trump’s lawyers.” Earth to the Rootster: From all indications so far, “the best lawyer gunslingers” and “Trump’s lawyers” are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Gage Skidmore

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Wing-nut: Carry Guns And Extra Ammo To Church

SIG_Pro_by_Augustas_DidzgalvisAccording to the Oath Keepers, (or, as I refer to them: “Oaf Creepers”) ISIS could be planning to attack your church.

Beware! Or, better yet, be armed! BE VERY HEAVILY ARMED!

But first, a bit of history before the hysteria, to place this nonsense in context.

The Oaf Creepers were founded by Elmer Stewart Rhodes. He likes to go by “Stewart,” but I think “Elmer” is a much better fit. (He’s a “Fudd” if I’ve ever heard of one.)

The Creepers are, as one pundit put it, “A conservative group whose members make Ted Nugent look like a bleeding-heart Rachel Maddow.” They claim to be defenders of the Constitution. (Or at least, their rather warped interpretation of it.)

These ‘Murican “patriots” are primarily composed of current and ex military and law enforcement types. Like all quasi-military groups, they pride themselves on following orders. Except, of course, their infamous “Declaration of Orders We Will NOT Obey.”

Orders like:

  • confiscate guns,
  • detain Americans as “unlawful enemy combatants” or to subject them to trial by military tribunal,
  • invade Texas or any other state if they secede from the country or,
  • enter a state in force without the express consent and invitation of that state’s legislature and governor.

It’s highly unlikely that any government entity would ever give them such orders. If the country ever devolves into a police state, the government has more than enough muscle to do this with their own people. They won’t need a bunch of mentally challenged ammosexuals to help out.

The Creepers might want to check with Herr Trump about that “detaining Americans as ‘unlawful enemy combatants’ or to subject them to trial by military tribunal” bit. He seems to be in favor of that.

Also, I don’t seem to recall the legislatures and governors of Nevada (Bundy Ranch Standoff) or Missouri (Ferguson) sending them an invitation.

In Nevada, they were too much even for the Bundy Bozos. The Security Chief kicked them out! In Ferguson, the St. Louis County police threatened them with arrest for acting as a security force without a license. They promptly left, tail tucked firmly between their legs. (Well, they needed something down there to fill the void.)

That should give you a general idea about these mental midgets. If you want to explore more (you masochist, you) check out their website, but keep the Emetrol handy.

Now, on to their latest idiocy.

Since a couple of ISIS idiots attacked a church and killed a priest in France, ol’ Elmer knows why it happened and who’s next.

As to why: because the “modern, emasculated, French metro-sexuals” at the church in Normandy that suffered the attack weren’t “real men.” (i.e. armed to the teeth)

As to who’s next? Us, of course! After all, isn’t everything about us?

According to the post on the Oaf Creepers’ website, ISIS has a “kill list” of nearly 15,000 Americans and they’re coming to a church near you.

But what about here in America? Are there real men in your church? Are they armed and ‘switched on’ during service, to safeguard the church and those who worship inside?… A church will be hit. And it might be yours. Get ready.

For those of you who are shaking in your boots, shoes, sandals, socks or whatever, not to worry. Elmer knows just how to handle the situation.

  1. Go armed to church… I recommend a reliable semi-automatic, high capacity handgun of at least 9mm caliber for that task, such as a Glock or Smith and Wesson M&P, with at least one spare magazine.
  2. Carry a backup gun, and/or a no-nonsense fixed blade knife as a backup, carried within easy reach of both your hands (carry it up front near your belt buckle).
  3. Have a couple shotguns (at least) discretely hidden within the church.
  4. Wear body armor under your suit.
  5. Have radios for communication
  6. Have an exterior armed security team.  It would be foolish to rely only on armed men inside the church.  You need men on the outside too.
  7. Have a layered security. Don’t rely on just one team, either outside or inside.  You need both.  And ideally, on the outside, in addition to the overt team manning the exterior entrances, you would also have someone in a discrete location, who is not easily seen by bad guys.
  8. All competent adults in the congregation should be armed.
  9. Train people in emergency medical and have trauma kits on hand.

There you have it, folks. The simple nine-step solution to your jihad problems. Simply turn your church, parish, temple or synagogue into an armed camp and all your worries will evaporate like mist on a summer morning.

Unless, of course, you’re attacked by suicide bombers. Then, you’re S.O.L.

p.s. Note to Elmer and the Oafs: “Real Men” don’t need to pack penis substitutes.

Featured image credit: Augustas Didžgalvis

Another Weird Week in Cruz(y) Country (VIDEO)

Cruzy the ClownWhen the Regressive presidential wannabes boarded the Bozo Bus (Last cycle’s Clown Car is way too small this time around.) I figured Teddy Boy Cruz would be the biggest filbert in the batch. Little did I realize how stiff the competition was going to be. He’s not only been out-nuttied by Dr. Ben Crazy, but most of all, by The Great American Hairball, the DONALD, himself. But, Teddy Boy is crazy like a fox. Truth be told, he’s probably the smartest Bozo on the bus. (He’s a Hahvuhd alumni and all that.)

While His Hariness sucked up all the media hot air and Dr. Crazy climbed the hill and jumped off the cliff, (His poll numbers are in free fall.) Cruzy was stocking up the Benjamins, (As of the last reporting period, he had the most cash on hand.) me too-ing the DONALD and reaching out to religious troglodytes. His semi-stealth campaign (Well, semi-stealth for him, anyway.) is starting to pay dividends. As Dr. Crazy was burnishing his idiot savant credentials, a lot of his base decided he was too wacko even for them. The prime beneficiary of the outflux turned out to be Cruzy.

If fact, the top political story on Monday would have been a Monmouth University poll that showed Cruzy leading His Hairness in Iowa, 24% to 19%. That is, it would have been if not for the DONALD doing his best impression of Uncle Adolf to date. There are those (myself included) who speculate that Trump went on his Islamophobic rampage to distract attention from the poll. (Btw, it worked beautifully, with the added bonus of boosting Trumps poll numbers up several notches.)

But, that’s just Monday. Let’s check out some of the other goings on in Cruzy Country this past week. (BYO nose plugs.)

Last Saturday, Teddy Boy addressed the “Rising Tide Summit” in Iowa.

We will utterly destroy ISIS. We will carpet bomb them into oblivion. I don’t know if sand can glow in the dark, but we’re going to find out.

Sand glowing in the dark? Well, nukes would probably cause the sand to glow. He can’t be referring to conventional bombs, because we have dropped so many on ISIS already (20,000+) that we’re running out.

Dropping nukes in Syria or Iraq is NOT a good idea. There are somewhere between 30,000 and 100,000 ISIS fighters in the area. A nuclear attack could kill millions, mostly innocent civilians, radicalizing even more of the Arab middle east. Then there’s the refugee problem. Even the credible threat of a nuclear strike would cause so many to flee that the current problem would look like a Sunday picnic by comparison.

Here’s his speech. (Keep the Emetrol handy.)

At a press conference on Tuesday, he claimed that he didn’t agree with the DONALD’s proposal, while at the same time, he applauded his leadership on immigration.  (That’s known as having it both ways.) He also took the opportunity to join with Texas governor, Greg Abbott, in proposing a moratorium on Syrian refugees and allowing Islamophobic governors to opt out of letting refugees settle in their state. (Like most Regressives, Teddy Boy has a very twisted view of the Constitution, especially in the federal supremacy area.)

Also on Tuesday, Cruzy held a climate denying hearing, inviting several anti-climate change witnesses. It was extremely one-sided to say the least. Here’s a few of Teddy Boys’ bovine droppings:

CO2 isn’t bad, because we’ve had more CO2 in our atmosphere then we have right now.

Actually, that statement is true. The last time that happened was millions of years ago. Back then, the world’s seas were up to 100 feet higher than they are today, and the global average surface temperature was up to 11°F warmer than it is now.

Arctic and Antarctic ice are both increasing.

Partially true. While the Antarctic land is shrinking, the Antarctic sea ice is increasing. However, Antarctic sea ice melts every year. As far as Arctic ice, check out the chart.Figure31-300x224

It doesn’t matter than 97 percent of scientists agree about climate change, because 97 percent of scientists said the sun rotated around the earth in the 1600s.

In the 1600’s scientists didn’t use the scientific method. Scientists were philosophers and ideologues, thinking about what made sense to them, rather than conducting experiments.

Satellite data shows no warming for the last 18 years.

13 of the 15 warmest years ever recorded have happened since the year 2000. This year we are about  to set a new record as the hottest year ever recorded.

Is it any wonder that Michael Mann, a Pennsylvania State University meteorology professor wrote,

This individual understands less about science (and climate change) than the average kindergartner. That sort of ignorance would be dangerous in a doorman, let alone a president.
On Wednesday, this avid anti-terrorist skipped two senate hearings on homeland security and ISIS. One featured FBI Director, James Comey, discussing the San Berardino shooting and the other was Senate Armed Services Committee hearing on America’s strategy to combat ISIS. Teddy Boy had other plans for the day. He was up in NYC hustling Wall Street money. (Hey, important things prevail.)

Which brings us to today. (Thursday) Bob Vander Platts, an extremely influential (with troglodytes) Iowa powerbroker/evangelical leader gave Cruzy his endorsement.

The extraordinary leader that we need for these extraordinary times is U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz.

Stay tuned!