Was Teddy Caught Canoodling With Women Not Named Mrs. Cruz?

screenshot_2016-03-24_21.23.11Shades of Johnny Edwards! It looks like everybody’s favorite supermarket tabloid has struck again! The National Enquirer‘s latest edition features an exposé on the Regressives favorite creep, creepin’ around on his “better half.” (Or, in Ted Cruz’s case, his better three quarters.)

The story quotes a “Washington insider” who claims,

Private detectives are digging into at least five affairs Ted Cruz supposedly had…The leaked details are an attempt to destroy what’s left of his White House campaign!

The story purports that the “other women” include a sex worker, (Doing the “horizontal mambo” with Cruzy would definitely be considered work.) a “high-placed D.C. attorney” and a “foxy political consultant.”

Now, I am NOT a fan of the Enquirer or any of its ilk! However, it has been proven correct in its scandal coverage numerous times. The aforementioned John Edwards case is just one example.

As to the identity of the “Washington insider,” I have a sneaky suspicion that it’s someone aligned with the The DONALD.

The suspicion is based on two factors:

  1. UntitledThe 2nd grade playground fight between Cruzy and the hairball over who has the larger “3rd leg” and who beds the sexier babe. (His Hairness wins the latter argument hands down and while I have no knowledge concerning the former, I suspect that they are both lacking in that arena.)
  2. The “foxy political consultant” is reputed to be tRump’s spoxspinner, Katrina Pierson. She of the bullet necklace, Muslim ban justification (“So what? They’re Muslim.“)and defender of Trump rally violence. Btw, she’s also a former organizer for Teddy.

Of course, the Cruzy crowd is denying everything, but since Politifact says 2/3rds of Teddy’s statements range from “mostly false” to ‘pants on fire,” I would suggest taking his word with a generous amount of NaCl. In any case, I have a feeling we’ll find out soon enough.

Meanwhile, the twittersphere is going bazonkers!

BTW, if turns out to be true, I’ll dump Cruz faster than Trump dumps his latest wife when he sees a supermodel upgrade.

That awkward moment when the party of family values has to choose between two adulterers to serve as the party’s nominee

Breaking: Trump claims to have had more extramarital affairs than Cruz and with much hotter mistresses.


Oh yeah well I heard Ted Cruz had a threeway with Irony & Karma.

Stay tuned!24702567551_f26e6d46e0_b