Alex Jones: Michelle Obama Has A Penis, May Have Murdered Joan Rivers

 

The competition for “Flakiest Filbert in the Nut Hatchery” must be tremendous!

From “Reverend Senile” (aka “Crazy Uncle” Pat Robertson) to the dispicable Teddy Shoebat, these tinfoil toupeed troglodytes keep trying to top (Or, is that “bottom?”) each other.

It seems that every day, they fantasize something new and even more bizzare than the day before. (Usually via a conversation with “Big Daddy!) But, if “Big D” is busy, or if they’re too damn dumb to dream up a new outrage, they’ll recycle an old one!

Speaking of Alex “Wo0 W0o” Jones,

Three years ago (Sept. 8, 2014, to be exact.) I did a post covering the claim that the “nefarious” Michelle Obama was, in reality(?), a cleverly disgusied male. Not only that, but she was in on the Illuminati plot to kill Joan Rivers.

According to the “Conspiracies-R-Us” gang, that African Islamist, Barack Hussein Obama conspired with the very Christian Illuminati to rub out Joan Rivers. The C-R-U doesn’t mention which Illuminati it is, (There’s more than one offshoot of the original Bavarian Illuminati.) but whoever it is, they’ve got this “super-secret” hit list and Joan’s name is (was?) on it.

It seems that Joan “outed” the president. Not only that, but she exposed Mrs Obama as a tranny. She never explained how she found out. Possibly used her “gaydar” on Barack and her “trannydar” on Michelle. I really don’t know. (Or care.)

In the words of that great philosopher, Yogi Berra, “It’s deja vu all over again!”

In his “Infowars” fantasy fest yesterday, [8/25/18] Alex was back at it and this time he brought along video “proof.”

Michelle Obama] looks like she’s either got a rubber snake in her pants or she is — could be a major porn star in Hollywood. Joan Rivers said this and died, and none of the media will even cover that she had dinner with the Obamas. And then she died, but they don’t ever show in the reports that I’m saying Joan Rivers said it.

Since the early days of the Obama administration, citizens across the board have studied videos and photos of Michelle Obama and said that she is a man.

Look, see it for yourself. Here’s the footage. It’s going to go to number one on YouTube.

Michelle is transgender, we all know it…we have famous photos of her where it appears she has a large bulge in her pants.

Maybe it’s a forked tail that’s six inches long. That’s it. Michelle Obama is a devil. I’ve already made that joke about Obama, but maybe it isn’t, maybe it’s a little forked tail. You decide, what is this hanging between her legs jiggling and flopping around? Here it is. She’s adjusting it. I mean I’ve seen men my whole life, myself, adjust their packages.

There you have it! Straight from the horse’s (nether) mouth. Proof positive(?)

However, remember that Alex has previously claimed without evidence, that the Sandy Hook massacre and Boston bombings were hoaxes and that Barack Obama founded Isis. (I don’t call him “Wo0 W0o” for nothing!)

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Sean P. Anderson

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Alex Jones Demands ‘Reparations for White People’ (Video)

Alex “Wo0 W0o” Jones is at it again!

Fresh from a “coffee shower” in Seattle, (More on that in a bit.) “Wo0 W0o” has decided to reverse his long-standing objection to reparations.

Don’t get me wrong, “Wo0 W0o” is still against reparations for “First Nations” and Black folk, but he has found a persecuted majority that he believes deserves some help in that area – White Americans!

There needs to be reparations for white people the last 20, 30 years, getting attacked and killed by the tens of thousands every year…There needs to be real travel advisories. They used to have in the 60s some places like Selma, Alabama, The New York Times would put travel advisories out for black folks.

To back up his story, “Wo0 W0o” cited one of Hair Fuhrer’s bogus tweets. It seems, as usual, Rump got his facts bass-ackwards. He claimed that 81% of the murders of White people were committed by Black people. I did some checking and in the latest stats I could find, [2013] the actual percentage of Black on White murders was 13.61%. White on White murders came to 83.49%. (By “Wo0 W0o’s” reasoning, and using accurate stats, White Americans should avoid predominately White populated areas, for their own safety.) Also, that “tens of thousands every year” was 3005 in 2013!

Meanwhile, back at the rant,

It doesn’t matter that most of the basketball players you see who happen to be black have the same haircut, or David Beckham, or anybody else. It doesn’t matter. You need to find that racism. In the eclipse. In a guy’s short haircut. In whatever it is. You’ve got to find it. It’s got to be there. So that’s why I’ve issued a travel advisory for the United States for white folks going to places like Denver, Detroit. Places like Chicago, places like Seattle, because I’ve been to these towns and I’ve experienced it.

I’m not sure I quite understand the link between hair length and racism. Then again, there are very few things that emanate from “Wo0 Woo’s” oral orifice that I do understand.

As to the cities he listed, in most cases, I’m not sure why those were singled out, other than they are all large cities with sizable minority populations. But so do most other large cities. However, I do have a clue about Seattle.

A few days ago, “Wo0 W0o” was in Seattle, and he didn’t exactly get a warm welcome. Between the “FU” battles, the “Finger Flip-offs” and having a cup of coffee dumped on him, (Talk about a waste of good coffee!) he didn’t have a real fun time.

Alex also touched on the persecution of Southerners over their “heritage” (treason and racial bigotry).

You’ve got all these whites who were never connected to it. And then you’ve got the Democratic Party that is literally pushing this that’s removing their history. And then somehow, that’s all Donald Trump’s fault. In fact, I tweeted that out this morning, that point, that I’ve noticed a lot of other people making. It’s just total hype, hysteria, mental illness.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: DonkeyHotey
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes)

Alex Jones: Trump Jr. Caught in a Russian Hoax Witch Hunt

I hate to break it to you, but Alex Jones just “proved” that this whole Trump Jr/email situation is just a bunch of Libtard “fake news.” So, don’t believe your lying eyes if you read the emails. It’s just Junior setting a trap.

I was just watching during the break Democrat senators flipping out on CNN going, “This is incredibly serious, Donald Jr., Russians did influence the election.” Because they met with one lady who wanted to talk about sanctions. They’re like, “No, we want to talk about Russian connections to Hillary” — which are now confirmed. That’s Donald Jr. doing his job. So that he’s trying to find Russian spies.

You see in his other life, the Butthead clone is a super-secret-agent-counter-spy. (I wonder if Junior works for the same super-secret agency as Perry the Platypus? That would explain so much!) He’s so super-secret that the only one who knows about this is our boy Alex. (Until now!)

Not only that, but Junior was “set up by the deep state working through this bygone producer from Britain!(See, he was so super-secret that the other super-secret-spies didn’t even know he was one of them.)

But, that’s all right! According to Alex, besides attempting to glean super-secret information on Russian nefarious deeds, it was all “a Russian hoax witch hunt!”

They tricked him into the meeting, he knew it was bull and he got out!

So, you see folks, you should just move along. There’s absolutely nothing in this “nothing-burger” worth smelling. Just a secret-spy, tricked by other secret-spies into spying on a spy who gave him nothing to spy on, so he went home.

END OF STORY!

….Except….why didn’t he continually lie about this for months? Why didn’t he pass along any info gained to the proper people who handle this sort of thing? In 2000, when the Gore campaign was given the Bush campaign’s debate information, they passed it along to the FBI. Seems like the proper thing to do.

….Oh! That’s right! Junior is a secret-spy (Or was, until Alex “outed” him.) for another secret-spy-organization! ‘Nuff said!

If you haven’t run out of Emetrol after that last vid, here’s another.

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

 

Is Obama The Anti-Christ Lord Of The Flies?

130125obamaEver had a fly land on you? If so, YOU MAY BE THE ANTI-CHRIST!

At least, that’s the word according to the Khristian tinfoil toupee set. However, I wouldn’t get too excited if I were you. They seem to have reserved that honor for “The Son of Perdition,” or as you know him, President Barack Obama.

I first ran across this pile of donkey droppings on WND (World Net Daily, or as I call it, Weird Nuts Drooling) back in 2013. It seemed to be a “hot topic” (no plug intended) as the mental midgets at Druge Sludge even posted a YouTube video on it.

As to the “Anti-Christ” aspect, that keeps rearing its ugly mug. I’ve even written a couple of posts on it already.

In October of 2014, I did a post on a self-proclaimed bible “expert” by the name of Jonathan Matthew Wright claimed to have discovered secret prophesies about Obama by utilizing the Bible Code. (The real(?) one, not the book.) At one point, Jonny visited noted filbert, Rick Wiles, to discuss his “findings.”

Wiles: Either Barack Obama is the Man of Sin or he is strongly connected to the Man of Sin or the spirit of Antichrist.
Wright: That’s right. Those are my only — I’ve tried to look at this as an investigation not with an agenda, by the way, but what I’ve come up with those have to be the possibilities. Let’s just face it, he’s got a ring on that says, ‘There’s no God but Allah and Mohammad is his Messenger.’ Now, by definition, that’s Antichrist.

Yeah, about that “Anti-Christ” ring thingy. Seems it may not be that at all. Check out what Snopes.com had to say about that (including a high-def pic of the ring) and decide for yourself.

Then, last year, Weird Nuts Drooling found even more proof that the Big O is the Anti-Christ. It seems, to them anyway, that if you take a word from the New Testament and translate it back to Aramaic and then take a word from the Old Testament and translate it back and then combine the words, you’ve discovered the true name (sort of) of the anti-Christ. (I don’t make this stuff up folks, my mind isn’t that off-kilter.)

There’s even a video to guide you through this nonsense:

Check out my post on this prodigious pile of pucky.

Flash forward to this week and they’re still beatin’ on that dead nag. Oh, and the flies are back. (But, you’d expect that with a deceased horse.) Monday, Alex Jones had James David Manning on as a guest. You might remember Pastor Manning from some of his anti-gay tirades, but that wasn’t the purpose of this visit.

Nope, it was that moldy, oldie, Obama is the Anti-Christ, or at least the precursor. As Jones put it, ”

 

 

ps: I got curious as to why flies land on people, but instead of checking the “holey book,” I asked Google and found out that flies land on a person’s face or elsewhere on the body because they seek moisture and salts that accumulate on the skin. Looks like it doesn’t have a thing to do with “Beelzebub.”

Conspiracy Nut: Oregon Occupation Is “False Flag”

Ranchers_who_inspired_Oregon_occupation__1_29374676_ver1.0_640_480What began on Saturday as a peaceful march by hog leg totin’ ammosexuals, turned into an act of seditious conspiracy when they motored 30 miles south of Burns, Oregon and took over the headquarters of the Malheur Wildlife Refuge.

18 U.S. Code 2384: If two or more persons in any state or territory conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States…or by force seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.

In the three days following this criminal act, the Bundy boys and their bunch of bozos have managed to embarrass themselves, the Mormon Church and most importantly, their fellow filberts. Even troglodytes such as Teddy Cruzy (the Joe McCarthy reincarnation) and Randy Paul (the Libertarian plagiarist) have called for an end to this fiasco. This is a very inconvenient situation for the wing-nuts as it puts the focus back on right-wing domestic terrorism just when they want to blame Black and Islamic elements for these types of incidents.

However, when the knuckle draggers are backed into a corner and running out of alibis, there’s always the old standby: blame it on the Black guy. (aka IT’S OBAMA’S FAULT!)

Sure enough, riding to the rescue is the “King of the Conspiracy Kooks.” Alex Jones.

Yesterday (1/4/16) Addlepated Alex guaranteed that the Bundy bozos been infiltrated by government agents. (Or, maybe they were George Soros minions.) Jones said that the militia’s actions will serve to “legitimize” President Obama’s executive actions on gun reform and pave the way for “even more draconian executive actions on guns” You’ve heard this song before: “He’s Coming to Take Your Guns Away, Ha Ha. (It’s been #1 with a bullet for seven straight years.)

Guaranteed provocateurs are showing up and other things are happening, the whole Soros group is saying, ‘Here are our white terrorists, here are our cowboy-hat wearing terrorists,’ it gives them the backdrop they need, they want to start a civil war.

I’ve always been under the impression that governments don’t start civil wars. That was the job of the unloyal opposition. But then, I went to school before Regressives gained control of Arizona education.

The timing is out of control and I understand there’s been demonstrations going on there for years and then, magically, this happens at this point.
I’ve lived in Oregon for 42 years, with a good amount of that time working in media and I’ve never heard a peep about any demonstrations in Burns. However, I don’t wear a tinfoil fedora, so maybe I just wasn’t tuned in.
 Alex went on to claim, that like the “false flag” Oklahoma City bombing, this was an attempt to discredit wing-nuts, and gun-butts like The DONALD.
If you’re into half-baked conspiracy theories, here’s the vid. (As usual, byo Emetrol.)

Stay tuned!

 

Ted Nugent Calls Democrats ‘Sub-human Freaks’ (VIDEOS)

1tedgunsBack in 2012, Teddy Nugent had this to say about the upcoming election,

If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. Why are you laughing? Do you think that’s funny? That’s not funny at all. I’m serious as a heart attack.

Since the poster boy for draft-dodging pedophiles is out and about, he must be: (A) an escaped con; (B) a zombie;  (C) a liar! (My money’s on (C), although (B) wouldn’t surprise me.)

Oh, and just in case you think I was slandering Teddy with the draft-dodging, pedophile remark, you can check out the pedophile link. I’ll have more to say about the draft-dodging a bit later, along with a special treat(?).

In his latest attempt to jump into the news cycle, the “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” writer/singer was a guest on Alex Jones’ “InfoWars” show on PrisonPlanet TV. Here’s some of the little brown deer “nuggets” he dropped in the conversation.

But here it is December 2015 and the whole world sucks, America sucks less, but we got a government, a media, and academia that are trying to catch up with Indonesia.

If Ted Nugent represents anything it’s that nothing is sacred and you can unleash the beast and when they express their beliefs about this criminal empire in the government of the United States of America, this freedom-hating, America-hating punk president and his entire —

I don’t care why he’s foaming at the mouth, I don’t care how he got rabies, he’s rabid, get rid of the damn dog,” he said. “When Old Yeller brings us slippers, give him a biscuit; when he foams at the mouth, you shoot him between the eyes. Any questions? You got to do it. America, you got to cleanse this country.

If I didn’t laugh I’d probably throw up blood, it’s so insane…Democrats are “subhuman freaks” who want Nugent et al to be “bending over and taking it in the ass.”

For those, strong of stomach, or have a large bottle of Emetrol handy, here’s the whole megillah:

On a not totally unrelated note, back in the 60’s, when Teddy’s number came up and it was time to go “defend the country” in Viet Nam, Mr. Macho had a different plan. Some of you may have heard about the story. For those of you who haven’t, here it is, in his own words, In an October, 1977 “High Times” interview.

I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin’ and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin’ kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I’d drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.

See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin’ dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I’m gonna play their own game, and I’m gonna destroy ‘em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin’ awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I’ve always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded motherfucker. A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn’t know and I’m vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. I was six-foot-three of sin. So the guys took me down to the physical, and my nerves, my emotions were distraught. I was not a good person. I was wounded. But as painful and nauseous as it was – ‘cause I was really into bein’ clean and on the ball – I made gutter swine hippies look like football players. I was deviano.

So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn’t believe the smell. They were ridiculin’ me and pushin’ me around and I was cryin’, but all the time I was laughin’ to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!” Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin’ up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin’ up. So I went home and cleaned up.

They took a putty knife to me. I got the street rats out of my hair, ate some good steaks, beans, potatoes, cottage cheese, milk. A couple of days and I was ready to kick ass. And in the mail I got this big juicy 4-F. They’d call dead people before they’d call my ass. But you know the funny thing about it? I’d make an incredible army man. I’d be a colonel before you knew what hit you, and I’d have the baddest bunch of motherfuckin’ killers you’d ever seen in my platoon. But I just wasn’t into it. I was too busy doin’ my own thing, you know?

Oh yes and before I forget, here’s the “special treat(?):