What used to be considered crackpot conspiracy theories, fit only for the trash heap, are now mainstreamed by ratings (i.e. “money”)-hungry media. And, in the competition for airtime, digital coverage and the resulting inflow of Benjamins, the screwy scenarios keep getting screwier!
In recognition of this, RDTdaily has decided that ingenuity (or is that ingenscrewity?) should be rewarded. Starting today, we will be awarding the not-so-coveted Ignominy* Award (“Iggy.”) for the most outlandish filbert fantasy of the week. (*For any teabagger types that stumbled on this, an ignominy is “a public shame or disgrace.”)
This isn’t an award for stupidity. If it was, Rump would sweep it week after week. This is an award for the wackiest utterances from the tinfoil toupee troupe. Every week, we’ll be on the lookout for prime examples. Then on Sunday, we’ll announce the winner(?).
This week’s nominees are:
- Phil Robertson for suggesting that listening to Beyonce will give you a sexually transmitted disease;
- Zach Drew for saying that a gay Disney character means we’re “goin’ ta Hell”;
- Rick Perry for claiming that fossil fuels help prevent sexual assaults
- Rodney Howard Brown for his accusation that the CIA controls ISIS and vaccines are population control.
First, we’ll get rid of the “also ran:” In the runner-up position: Zach Drew!
Disney? Gay character? Perversion of youth? Going to hell? P.U.-leez! Sing me a song I haven’t heard a hundred times already.
If Zach wants to ride with the “Big Bunkos,” he’s gonna have to work on his originality!
And now, on to the chunky stuff!
THE ENVELOPE, PLEASE………..
In 3rd position: Rodney Howard Brown.
Rodney is another minor leaguer, but he has dreams. For instance, just a couple of weeks ago, he dreamed up the “fact” that Hollywood was rife with human sacrifice and cannibalism. Figuratively, I might agree with that, but literally?….That’s pushing it a bit.
But, this week, he topped (bottomed?) himself!
Our American men and women are being used as cannon fodder for the globalist agenda. We’re not in Afghanistan because we’re killing terrorists. The ISIS bases are in 49 states in America that the CIA brings them and trains them here and then ships them out to the areas of the world where they want there to be conflict. They are all trained here. Osama bin Laden worked for the CIA, so does Anderson Cooper. Work that one out.
He also spewed some BS about vaccinations being an effort by eugenicists to spread diseases and sterilize people, in an effort to control the population.
Which brings us to a couple of the aforementioned “Big Bunkos!”
In the #2 (in more ways than one) slot: Rick Perry.
As Energy Secretary, the Rickster (Or, as his base knows him, “Cuzin Ricky.”) is a petroleum pusher. While the world is winding down it’s use of fossil fuels, Cuzin Ricky has found the perfect reason to keep those oil rigs arunnin: they cut down on sexual assault!
But also from the standpoint of sexual assault. When the lights are on, when you have light that shines the righteousness, if you will, on those types of acts.
- They haven’t helped a whole hell of a lot here in ‘Murica! Ask the victims of Weinstein, “Billo the clown” O’Reilly, Bush “the elder” and ol’ “Grabem by the pussy,” himself.
- Fossil fuels are “righteous?” (Does that mean they’re a kind of a black, gooey, stinky version of “holy water?”)
- Petroleum fumes are a lot more noxious than smoke from a wood fire. (That comment only makes sense if you’ve watched the vid.)
Which brings us to the wackiest of this week’s wackos: Phil Robertson!
Now, there are a number of ways to catch a sexually transmitted disease [STD]! However, as far as I know, aural sex isn’t one of them. But then, I’m not Phil Robertson! (Thank Darwin for small favors.)
According to the ersatz hillbilly, listening to Beyoncé will “rot your genitals off!”
And you wonder why 110 million of us have a sexually transmitted disease at any given time?
So according to God, the Center for Disease Control and me, don’t listen to that chick. She will lead you down a path into the microbe world. She’ll take you down a path you don’t want to go down.”
Boys, look out, the microbes are coming. They will rot your genitals off!
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).