Wingnut Binds Anti-Trump Demons And Saves ‘Murica!

Rick Wiles has had a wild week.

It was just a couple of days ago [7/2/17] that I covered his brain(?)storm of an idea that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer,” aka “Rump.”) should grant Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio a pardon for his conviction for Criminal Contempt and hire him to run the Department of Homeland Security. (Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration.)

And then, as a public dooty, (Not a misspelling!) the Rickster alerted the nation of the vile “Deep State Goon Squad” that’s been going around, beating up poor politicians.

As evidence, he cited John McCain’s stitches above his eye, George Bush Sr. choking on a pretzel, (Little) Dick Cheney’s busted lip, Harry Reid’s eye injury and Colin Powell’s broken arm. (Or was it a broken leg?)

What I do recall, through the years, is how many national politicians have had injuries that, to me, were suspicious. Maybe all of these are coincidences, or maybe they’re not. Maybe there is a shadow government that roughs up the politicians when they don’t do all the dirty, evil things that they want done.

Among other “Deep State” dirty deeds: they sent the Capitol Police Containment and Emergency Response Team to the wrong location during the attack on a GOP congressional baseball practice.

Wiles claimed this was intentionally done to “give the gunman more time” to kill as many Congressmen as possible.

Then Ricky went and saved ‘Murica. (Whatta guy!)

It was laborious endeavor, but somebody had to do it! (It took him a whole five minutes!)

Being a “Khristian” (as opposed to “Christian”) prophet…profit, he knew exactly what to do. Simply bind the demonic spirits that are bent on destroying Hair Fuhrer and starting a civil war.

I’ll let the Rickster explain. (As only he, Alex Jones, Jim Bakker and a few others can.)

These are demonic spirits attempting to start a civil war in this country. If they think that they are going to succeed in removing the president of the United States and this country is not going to erupt into a civil war, these people are totally deluded and full of pompous pride. They will destroy the country and they cannot be allowed to do it.

They are acting under the spirit of Lucifer and therefore we, the church, have authority … [to] bind these devils and let’s loose angels to protect the president.

We bind every demonic, evil, wicked, satanic spiri. We bind all of those demonic spirits that are operating in the White House, in the Congress, in the intelligence agencies, in the Pentagon, anywhere in this nation to destabilize the president of the United States and to cause our government to collapse. We bind those evil spirits and we render them paralyzed.

Now, why didn’t I think of that?…(Oh yeah, because “demonic spirits” are fig newtons of an addlepated mind.)

But WAIT! There’s more. Our Rickster’s not just a “3-trick jackass!” (He’s at least a “4.”)

Not content with saving the nation, (or at least his version of it) Ricky decided to tackle a really BIGLY YUUGE problem: cleaning up the mess that masquerades as the “White House.” But not to worry, he knows exactly what to do. He’s gonna “PRAY IT AWAY!”

At this point, a bit of context is in odor…er order.

You see the WH disfunction isn’t caused by leaks or tweets or incompetence. Nosiree! It’s because there’s fighting between factions. For instance, there’s “The Good Guys.” That would be Bannon and Flynn and their buds. And, on the other side, you’ve got “The Bad Guys.” You know, pointy-headed intelligence people, diplomats, Democrat moles, and most especially, National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

It seems that McMaster has a nasty habit of firing some “Good Guys” for super-silly reasons like bias, bigotry or downright incompetence.

Well, Ricky’s had it!

I’m fed up with putting up with this stuff. From now on we go on the offensive in the spirit and we become warriors against this evil force and we call upon the name of the God of this universe and we ask Him to come and fight for us and defeat these wicked people.

Not only that, but the “Holy Spirit” (aka “Sacred Spook”) told him personally that McMaster had to go because he’s an evil globalist. trying to destroy our gearless leader.

Father, we ask that you remove Gen. McMaster from the White House as director of national security. Let this be done quickly as a show of your force, as a show of your intervention in the affairs of this country

Personal note to the Rickster: You might want to change your supplier for your tinfoil toupees, your current ones seem to leak a lot.

He’s done,” Wiles said. “I believe that with all my heart and mind.”

Stay tuned!

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Michele Bachmann: Hate Crimes Hotline Is A Violation Of The Separation Of Church And State

Michele Bachmann is back!

What I want to know is who the HELL invited her?

It was only a couple of years ago that she left Congress one step ahead of an ethics probe. Of course, she claimed the whole investigation was “a Muslim Brotherhood plot.

Actually, the charges included misuse of campaign funds, during her aborted run at the Presidency. Specifically, using leadership PAC money to pay staff and paying an Iowa State Senator under the table. (Ethics rules bar legislators from being employed by campaigns.)

It was a bit quieter in Tinfoil Toupee Territory after she left. Of course, there were still lots of filberts like Louie Gohmert to take up a bit of the slack, but Michele was in a league of her own.

And then, along came Donny Trump (aka “His Hairness,” aka “Duh Fuhrer,” aka “Rump.”)

She probably felt a bit left out when His Hairness didn’t invite her to join the mayhem that is his administration.

I doubt if that was personal. It’s just that she didn’t meet his qualifications. She isn’t super-rich, she isn’t a high ranking military person with a few tubes loose, and SHE’S A WOMAN. (You’d think that Rump would at least want to grab her “youknowwhat.”)

I know, the Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, claims to be a woman, but she donated millions to “the cause.” (Money trumps gender in Trumpistan!)

In any case, Michele is back in the news cycle once again.

It seems she’s got a bad case of the “upsets” about an “unconstitutional” action by Minneapolis. (Btw, “Minneapolis” is NOT Chippewa for “Apple Orchard!” Who says my posts aren’t educational?) The city actually had the audacity to set up a “hate crime” hotline.

To Michele, this reeks of fascism, not to mention government interference with the religious right of “Khristians” (As opposed to “Christians,” which they ain’t!) to be assholes

Over the weekend, Michele went on Jan Markell’s “Understanding The Times” radio rant fest to share her feelings on the matter.

What we’re seeing is that hotlines are being set up by units of government for the purpose of encouraging people to call in and rat on their fellow man to report a hate crime. What they’re trying to do is implement anti-blasphemy laws. They’re trying to implement Islamic Sharia law locally in order to quiet churches and quiet anybody who would talk about what the truth is about Islam.

What they want is civilization jihad. They want jihad through the court system to silence speech because when you take away someone’s speech rights to speak out—like we’re doing right now, to tell the truth about something—then it’s game over … There should be a lawsuit filed against the city of Minneapolis for doing this. They have violated the so-called separation of church and state that the left is so in love with because they’re preferring Islam over any other religion and, number two, they’re fascists. That’s what they are, they’re fascists; they want to shut down your right to free speech.

I noticed that she brought up the “Sharia law” thingy. That seems to be an extremely dangerous item to the religious(?) wing-nuts. They are deathly afraid of the miniscule Muslim population taking over the judicial system and replacing it with “Sharia.” However, they truely believe (Michele included) that this country should be ruled under biblical law, which, if you look close, is a mirror image of “Sharia.” (Probably stems from the fact that Jews, Christians and Muslims are all “People of the Book.”)

Stay tuned!

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Jim Bakker Promotes His New Survival Food With A Horrible Bee Gees Cover

Jim Bakker’s got a sweeeet thing going.

After several years R&R at the Ironbar Inn for various naughty-naughties, he’s devised a new scheme for rakling in the Benjamins: He’s an “End-Times” screacher…er “preacher.” Instead of promoting the “fire & brimstone” that awaits your arrival in Hell, he’s bringing it right down (up?) here to Earth.

So, you’re asking yourself, “How does that bring in the big bucks?” (I’m sooo glad you asked!)

Almost every “religion” has their version of “the last days.” (Personally, I prefer the Norse “Ragnarök” version with Odin, Thor, Loki and that whole Asgardian gang.) One thing almost all of the versions agree on, is that the “End Times” are not going to be the “Fun Times!” They envision a multi-system breakdown and a collapse of the social order!

What’s a Big Daddy fearing individual supposed to do when the fecal material hits the fan? What if they’re a bit too sinful to be “raptured?” How is he/she, and dependents, going to survive?

Ok, first lets get rid of that “Rapture” nonsense. It ain’t in the bible, folks. It was invented in 1830 by John Nelson Darby. Oh, and those 144,000 mentioned in Revelations? They seem to be reserected, not raptured, Jewish virgins. 12,000 from each tribe. (So, unless you’re a dead Jew who never “did the deed,” you’re out of luck!)

However, fear not, true believers! Bakker has not only manufactured the problem, he’s figured out how to profit from it: JIMBO SELLS SURVIVAL GEAR AND FOOD!

And, speaking of survival food, Brother Bakker is now promoting a “NEW & IMPROVED” name for his vittles. It’s now called “Staying Alive!” (Can you dig it?) AND it now has enough preservatives in it that it won’t rot for 30 years! HALLELUJAH!

He devoted part of his “Jim Bakker Show” on Tuesday, to spreading the “GOOD NEWS” about his tummy treats.

This show today is so important. God woke me up and I felt the presence of God like I never felt and He said, ‘Jim, I want you to do more food, build a new type of food.’

This is what God is saying to me. We’re in the Last Days. The years I spent in prison, God showed me the revelation and I’m telling you, almost all of it [has already happened.] We’re going to see the End of Time and that is where we are right now.

If you’ve got the Emetrol handy, here’s the whole pius pitch, including “NEW & IMPROVED(?)” lyrics to the Bee Gee’s “Stayin’ Alive.”

DANGER WILL ROBINSON: The music commences at about the 1:30 mark!

For those of you who prefer the “REAL DEAL,”here’s the “Wonders From Down Under,” “The Dukes of Disco,” Barry, Robin and Maurice, the Bee Gees, themselves (well, their voices, anyway) with scenes from the flick and displayed lyrics to aid you in committing karaoke.

Grouchy

Btw, I snuck in an “Easter Egg.” Happy hunting!

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes)

Wingnut Declares War On Witches Attacking The Trumps

Cotton Mather Lives! (Or, at least his superstitious stupidity does.)

Over the last year or so, a number of troglodyte “Khristians” (As opposed to “Christian,” which they ain’t!) have seen witches coming out of the woodwork.

Last fall, a Family Research Council member, Robert Maginnis, visited Jim Bakker to spread the alarm.

I have personally met people that refer to themselves as witches, people that say they advise the senior leadership of the country. We invite within the federal government people to advise us and often some of those advisers, I think, have evil motivations, things that you and I would not approve of.

And then in February, everybody’s least favorite crazy uncle, Pat Robertson, piped in.

I read that a bunch of witches have gotten together to put a curse on Trump, and I think the Christians need to be praying for him to defend him.

Pat’s Co-Hostess, Wendy Griffith stated that “probably millions” of Christians are praying to cancel out the witches curses. She didn’t mention the “probably millions” of Americans that are praying that Trump will rot in Hell!

In June, warnings started surfacing about witches brewing something up for Summer Solstice.

Rumor had it that the majority of witches were students from Uadaguo [Wag-a-do], the African wizarding school and the event was hosted by its American counterpart, Ilvermorny. There are also unconfirmed sightings of several Hogwarts alumni, including Hermione Weasley. (Just kidding(?) about this part.)

With this cat-ass-trophy on the horizon, the president of Intercessors for America (IFA) issued an urgent call to prayer about this abhorent sacrilege. (And, he knows a thing or three about sacrilege.)

Whether or not this call for spells pans out and people act on it, we feel compelled, as the body of Christ and intercessors, to come against this evil with immediate and powerful prayer.

At one point, a pair of Roman Catholic female eunuchs even outed Katy Perry as a witch. Some unbelievers called this “

Some unbelievers called this “nunsense.” I mean, Katy may get a bit “out there” at times, but I’ve never seen her in proximity of a broom.

On the other hand, just look at all the adolescent males she’s cast a spell on.

Which brings us to the latest (But, not the greatest.) tinfoil slippage about the witchery situation.

Khristian bible beater and Rump licker extraordinaire, Lance Wallnau, has had enough of these witch curses. Lance claims that Rump is ok because sooo many people are praying for him. Besides, Lance has already prayed the impeachment away.

Oh, and Rump is already safe from a stroke as well. A few days ago, he watched fellow troglodyte, Rodney Howard Brown, pray it away.

The devil is trying to get him and his family. And I heard Rodney Howard-Browne say when he laid hands on the president, he was worried there was a stroke coming; well, we veto that stroke in Jesus’ name! That is nothing but stress and we’re breaking it off of him right now.

So, Rump is all prayed-safe, but think of poor Bevis & Butthead, Jarhead, and the rest of family.

Photo Credit: mccauleys-corner

 

 

 

 

 

People are praying for the president, but they’re not necessarily praying for his family. So right now, all those witchcraft curses that did not land on Donald Trump are trying to take out his kids, trying to take out his offspring, trying to attack anything near him.

He knows this for a fact, because he’s seen it before.

Lance remembered when a bud of his was “casting a demon out of somebody” while driving down the highway and the demon jumped right into a dog. The dog jumped out of the car and with the aid of an oncoming vehicle, morphed into a freeway flapjack!

He then went on to state,

We take authority over every hex, vex, spell, jinx, satanic curse, blood curse, every demon assigned to destroy the health of the president, to destroy the health of his family, to harass him, to vex him, to cause him to lose sleep.

In Jesus name, we veto every curse that has been brought against Donald Trump and his family and his administration.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

h/t: Right Wing Watch
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Wingnut Preacher: Trump ‘Receives Downloads’ From God

Everybody’s (not-so) favorite ex-con/current con artist, Jim Bakker, loves to have fellow filberts on his Survivalist Infomercial (aka “The Jim Bakker Show“). This week, one of the guests was a Khristian (as opposed to “Christian”) bible-beater named Frank Amedia.

For those of you fortunate enough not to have run across Mr. Ameia, he’s a self-anointed “apostle” who claims to have single-handedly stopped waves from the 2011 tsunami in Japan from hitting a Hawaiian island. (King Canute is spinning in his grave.)

I stood at the edge of my bed and I said, ‘In the name of Jesus, I declare that tsunami to stop now.’ And I specifically said, ‘I declare those waters to recede.’

He’s also a self-proclaimed profit….er, “prophet.” and joined other profits (Damn! Did it again.) prophets, to create a “POTUS Shield.” After all, Trump was (according to these nut jobs)God’s Guy,” annointed by Big Daddy hisownself. (I wonder what grade of crude oil, B.D. used?)

Well, I gotta tell ya, this bit of butt bussing impressed Trump (aka Herr Rump) sooo much that he made Frank and some of the gang, Official Trump “Christian policy liaisons.”

Anyway, as I said earlier, Frank and fellow flibert, Jim, got to gether this week so that Frank could regale us with his tales of Trump prophecies that slipped through his tinfoil toupee.

Among the tales was one of Big D. oiling (Did he use Exon oil?) up Herr Rump with a “Breaker Anointment,” so that Rump could break up things. You know, like the Republican and Democratic parties, as well as the news media. (Other than the Bullshit Mtn variety, of course.)

So, watch out, Kim Jong-un, YHWH’s “Breaker-in-Chief” is on the loose and looking at you!

So, you know, North Korea, you’d better be on your toes because you’re up against a breaker anointing of God. This isn’t about politics, this isn’t government as usual, this isn’t even militaristic, God has raised up…a breaker anointing. Anything that God opposes him against, he breaks up. He broke up the Republican Party…he broke up the Democratic Party, he broke up the news media. Everything that comes against him, he has a hammer against. So, I’m telling you, North Korea, you’d better stand down because you’re up against the breaker anointing of God.

Frank also had a few things to say about Herr Rumps fave-o-rite night-time activity: tweeting. According to Frank the twit’s tweets are part of the “gift of wisdom” that Elohim (Another of the Big Guy’s many aliases.) gave the Trumpster. Besides, because of Herr Rump’s “God-given gift of discernment,” being Prexy is a boring job and our pear-less leader needs distraction.

I believe he receives downloads that now he’s beginning to understand come from God.

(I have to wonder if Frank isn’t getting the “guy in the sky” and Putin confused.)

Stay tuned! (Or not.)

Grouchy

h/t: Right Wing News

Featured Image Credit: YouTube screen grab
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Trump’s New Rule: Only Islamic Extremists Are a Threat

Right_wing_extremists-_2013-08-14_21-56The “man” in the Oval Office seems to have a deathly fear of terrorists. At least those with slightly darker skin, that worship a slightly different version of Big Daddy. According to him, only Islamic Extremists are a Threat!

White Supremacist, Khristian (As opposed to “Christian,” which they are not!) filberts can’t be terrorists. They supported his candidacy. In fact, he made one of them, Stephen K. Bannon, Assistant to the President and Chief Strategist.

His mantra seems to be “If they’re white, they’re all right. If they’re a bit brown, put ’em down!”

Unless you’ve been taking a two-week vacation on one of Jupiter’s outer moons, you’re probably aware that Trump (aka “Herr Rump”, aka “Duh Fuhrer”) has issued an executive order “temporarily” blocking Muslims from entering the U.S. That is, of course, unless they’re from a country that he does business with.

For instance, the vast majority of the 9/11 terrorists were from Saudi Arabia, but S.A. gets a pass. After all, terrorism is terrorism, but business is business.

Then yesterday, (2/2/17) Reuters reported that Duh Fuhrer “wants to revamp and rename a U.S. government program designed to counter all violent ideologies so that it focuses solely on Islamist extremism.”

Cosmetically, he wants the program’s name changed from “Countering Violent Extremism” to “Countering Islamic Extremism.” He wants them to quit targeting white supremacist groups entirely.

This, despite the fact that for the last several years, DHS and law enforcement agencies around the country have stated that right-wing groups are a far bigger threat than Islamic militants.

As for why they would think that, the following is a very partial list of right-wing extremist incidents over the last 15 years;

  • July 19, 2002
    Federal and local law enforcement agents arrest North Carolina Klan leader Charles Robert Barefoot Jr. for his role in a plot to blow up the Johnson County Sheriff’s Office, the sheriff himself and the county jail. He was sentenced in February 2013 to 15 years in prison and three years’ probation after his term.
  • January 8, 2003
    Federal agents arrest Matt Hale, the national leader of the neo-Nazi World Church of the Creator (WCOTC). Hale was charged with soliciting the murder of federal judge, Joan Humphrey Lefkow. He was found guilty and sentenced to serve 40 years in federal prison.
  • February 13, 2003
    Federal agents in Pennsylvania arrest David Wayne Hull, imperial wizard of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and an adherent of the anti-Semitic Christian Identity theology, alleging that Hull arranged to buy hand grenades to blow up abortion clinics. He was found guilty of weapons violations and sentenced to 12 years in federal prison.
  • April 1, 2004
    Neo-Nazi Skinhead Sean Gillespie videotaped himself as he firebombed Temple B’nai Israel, an Oklahoma City synagogue, as part of a film he is preparing to inspire other racists to violent revolution. He was found guilty of the attack and later sentenced to 39 years in federal prison.
  • June 10, 2005
    Daniel J. Schertz, a former member of the North Georgia White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, was indicted in Chattanooga, Tenn., on federal weapons charges for allegedly making seven pipe bombs and selling them to an undercover informant with the idea that they would be used to murder Mexican and Haitian immigrant workers. He was sentenced to 14 years in prison.
  • October 24, 2008
    Two white supremacists, Daniel Cowart and Paul Schlesselman, are arrested in Tennessee for allegedly plotting to assassinate Barack Obama and murder more than 100 black people. In 2010, Cowart was sentenced to 14 years and Schlesselman was sentenced to 10.
  • May 31, 2009
    Scott Roeder, an anti-abortion extremist who was involved with the antigovernment “freemen” movement in the 1990s, shoots to death Kansas late-term abortion provider George Tiller as the doctor is serving as an usher in his Wichita church. Roeder was convicted of first-degree murder in January 2010 and was sentenced to life in prison.
  • June 12, 2009
    Shawna Forde — the executive director of Minutemen American Defense (MAD), an anti-immigrant vigilante group that conducts “citizen patrols” on the Arizona-Mexico border — is charged with two counts of first-degree murder for her role in the slayings of a Latino man and his 9-year-old daughter in Arivaca, Ariz. She was sentenced to life in prison.

The list goes on and on and on, but this post is starting to get very long. You can check out the entire list here.

But, according to Duh Fuhrer, the only real terrorists are Islamic.

N.D. Republicans Want To Make It Legal For Nutjobs To Kill Protesters With Their Cars

29554803662_1992b65ca2_bNorth Dakota is a scenic state with its rolling hills and farmland, Theodore Roosevelt National Park, Devil’s Lake, and the badlands at Little Missouri State Park, to name just a few attractions.

Unfortunately, the actions of some of its legislators aren’t nearly as attractive. Case in point: House Bill No.1203, currently making its way through the legislative process.

The bill is a reaction to the peaceful (at least on the part of the protesters) pipeline protest at North Dakota’s Standing Rock Reservation. It seems that the mother of one of the legislators was inconvenienced by having to slow down while driving down a road, lined with parked cars and protesters.

Well, by Koch, the legislator, Rep. Keith Kempenich, wasn’t going to sit idly by and let his mother and others be inconvenienced by no damn environmental protesters. He got together with some of his fellow troglodytes (Representatives Mike Brandenburg, Vernon Laning, Bill Oliver, & Karen Rohr and Senators Dwight Cook & Donald Schaible) to put a stop to this tomfoolery. Btw, these are all Republicans. (Well, I did say they were “troglodytes.”)

Last week (1/9/16) they introduced House Bill No. 1203, which not only eliminates any fiscal liability for damages caused by injuring or killing a pedestrian protester “on a public road, street, or highway,”

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a driver of a motor vehicle who negligently causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway may not be held liable for any damages.

It also eliminates any criminal charges.

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a driver of a motor vehicle who unintentionally causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway is not guilty of an offense.

Now, according to Kempenich,

It’s shifting the burden of proof from the motor vehicle driver to the pedestrian.

Problem is,it’s kind of like “Stand Your Ground.” How is the victim going to argue otherwise if he’s dead?

But Kempenich also admitted his real reason for the legislation. Regarding the protests, he stated,

It puts people on edge. People who live out there are feeling terrorized.

Btw, according to the Billings Gazette, Kempenich is chairman of the board “that decides how some of the state’s billions in oil wealth is invested.” (No conflict of interest there, I’m sure.)

The bill is set for hearings by the Joint Transportation Committee on the 20th of January.

Stay tuned!

(The above links on the sponsors’ names will provide you with their contact info, just in case you’d like to apprise them of your thoughts on this bill.)

Pottygate? Trump’s Porta Potty Coverup

Don's JohnsI was doing a bit of story mining looking for a subject to write about when I came across a metaphor for Trump’s (aka Herr Rump) coronation. Fittingly, it centered around porta potties.

As with all things “Donald,” (at least in his fantasies) his coronation as president is going to be YUUUGE! However, from some indications, that may not be the case.

For instance, hotel bookings suggest it will be less than half the size of Obama’s – 800 thousand to 1.8 million. Also, the Women’s March on Washington, on the following day, has reserved three times the number of bus permits – 1200 to 393 at last count. (Of course, most of his supporters may be getting around in limos rather than public buses.)

Be that as it may, since Herr Rump thinks his celebration is going to be the BIGLYEST he wants the most of everything, including, it seems, places to sit and shit. And, evidently, the largest supplier of porta potties in the Washington D.C. area is a company named “Don’s Johns.”

(I can just imagine the promotion campaign: “Don’s Johns: The Presidential Porta Potty provider. The perfect solution for Trump chump rump dumps. Now equipped with “Golden Shower” receptacles.”)

Someone in the coronation committee must have thought that connecting (non-twitter generated) fecal matter with the “Golden Guy” might not be such a good idea. The order went out  to cover up the “Don’s Johns” label on the potties.DJ CU

Like most ideas generated by this clown crew, it wasn’t even quite half baked. They covered the name with blue tape that didn’t really conceal the name.

And, of course, this action did NOT go unnoticed.

WASHINGTON (AP) — It’s the great port-a-potty cover-up for President-elect Donald Trump’s

The Wall Street Journal,” “Fox News,” the “New York Daily News” and even “The Blaze” covered it.

The last word on the subject was that Don’s Johns CEO, Rob Weghorst” has sent his employees to rip the tapes off. As Mr Weghorst put it,

We like to have our names on our units.

 

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did.It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

 

Trump Lies to Justify Air Force One Cancellation

air-force-one-583682_960_720The “short attention span” president elect continues his attempt to govern in 140 characters or less. This morning he came out against the Boeing contract to build the Air Force One replacements.

First, a bit of background before we get into the twit’s tweet.

There are two “Air Force One” planes. However, only the one the president is actually using is called Air Force One. Technically, the planes are Boeing 747-200Bs and are designated VC-25A.

The two planes currently used by President Obama, were put into service when Bush, the elder, was president. Presidential planes are supposed to have an active duty life of 30 years, and the 30 years is up in 2017. However, the replacements won’t be ready until sometime in 2020.

The planes slated to replace the current Air Force Ones, are Boeing 747-8s. In January of last year, Air Force Secretary Deborah Lee James stated that this was the only plane made in the United States that, “consistent with the national public interest,” could meet the requirements for the presidential aircraft.

According to Boeing’s press release this afternoon,

We are currently working under contract for $170 million to help determine the capabilities of these complex military aircraft that serve the unique requirements of the President of the United States.

The Air Force has budgeted $2.87 billion for the two Air Force One replacements, for the fiscal years 2015 through 2021.

Defense consultant, Dr. Loren B. Thompson of the Lexington Institute, explained the expense,

Air Force One has unique communications, safety and self-protection features so that the president can function under the most trying circumstances — like nuclear war. The price tag is driven by the demands of the mission.

Enter: Donald Trump!

At 5:52, this morning, he sent out a tweet,

Boeing is building a brand new 747 Air Force One for future presidents, but costs are out of control, more than $4 billion. Cancel order!

Where he got the “more than $4 billion,” other than out of thin air, is anybody’s guess. He seems to have a chronic problem with facts.

The Washington Post reported that an analyst with the Teal Group, a company that specializes in “Aerospace and Defense Market Intelligence,” said Trump’s tweet was,

Completely nonsensical and based on exactly nothing. But it’s very difficult to adjudicate on complicated program management and military requirements questions with Twitter as your medium.

The predawn tweet calls into question the government’s contractual commitments. As Franklin Turner, a partner specializing in government contracts at law firm McCarter & English, described it,

The chilling effect on industry is huge, if you are a contractor.

The tweet caused Boeing stock to take a hit, although it recovered later in the day.

Oh, and not to worry about Trump’s bottom line. He dumped his Boeing stock in June.

Pat Robertson: Celebrating Halloween Is Satan Worship

scary halloween faceCrazy Uncle Pat is at it again. Not quite sure if he’s off his meds or taking too damn many of them.

Anyway, he was asked a question on Monday’s (9/26/16) “700 Club” broadcast, about a mother allowing her child to visit a “haunted” house on Halloween.

His response:

Mother, don’t let your babies grow up to be demon-worshippers. Don’t let him do it…Halloween has become a night when the devil rejoices!

He suggested that churches put on alternatives, where “all the nice, pretty girls and all the handsome boys” are “praising the Lord instead of worshiping Satan.” (I guess ugly kids aren’t invited.)

That got me to thinking about a post I wrote a couple of Halloweens ago.

It seems, former teen hunk and current Khristian troglodyte, Kirk Cameron, got his Underoos bunched up in his backside because pagans stole Halloween from the church.

In an interview with the “Christian Post,” he had this to say,

In the 9th century, the Roman Catholic Church shifted the date of All Saints’ Day to 1 November, while 2 November later became All Souls’ Day. Over time, Samhain and All Saints’/All Souls’ merged and helped to create the modern Halloween.

On the costume aspect of Halloween, Kirk has some thoughts:

When you go out on Halloween and see all people dressed in costumes and see someone in a great big bobble-head Obama costume with great big ears and an Obama face, are they honoring him or poking fun? They are poking fun at him. … Early on, Christians would dress up in costumes as the devil, ghosts, goblins and witches precisely to make the point that those things were defeated and overthrown by the resurrected Jesus Christ. The costumes poke fun at the fact that the devil and other evils were publicly humiliated by Christ at His resurrection.

(So, I guess he believes that Obama is one of the devils or other evils that J.C. humiliated.)

And then there are the “trick-or-treaters”:

You can give them Gospel tracts and tell the story of how every ghost, goblin, witch and demon was trounced the day Jesus rose from the grave.

(I’m sure that will thrill the neighborhood six-year olds.)

 But, not to worry, you can still party hardy!

You should have the biggest party on your block, and you should have the reason for everyone to come to your house and before anyone else’s house because yours is the most fun. Halloween gives you a great opportunity to show how Christians celebrate the day that death was defeated.”

(Well, I have to admit. It does sound like one scary party.)

I hate to break it to Kirk, (Actually, I really don’t!) but as is common for Khristian troglodytes, he gets it back-assward.

It’s true that in the eighth century, (not the ninth) Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints and martyrs with a holiday, All Saints’ Day. However, the holiday it usurped goes back a lot farther.

The Roman church had a long history of usurping local events and mythological critters and incorporating them as “Christian”. They did this with Saturnalia. (Roman) You know it as Christmas. Oh, and the mistletoe (Druid), yule log (6th century Germanic Paganism) and holly (Roman Saturnalia Festival) are also imports. Also, it’s amazing how many local mythological critters morphed into Catholic saints and demons.

Much like Christmas, with its pagan Saturnalia roots, All Hallows Eve evolved from the Celtic celebration of the Samhain Festival. Btw, Samhain was about the end of the herding, trade and warfare season, not about death or demons.

According to Sir James George Frazer ‘s book, The Golden Bough: A Study in Magic and Religion . May 1st and November 1st were of great importance to herdsmen. It is at the beginning of summer that cattle are driven to the upland summer pastures and the beginning of winter that they are led back. Frazer suggested that halving the year at May 1st and November 1st dates from a time when the Celts were mainly a pastoral people, dependent on their herds. In medieval Ireland the festival marked the end of the season for trade and warfare and was an ideal date for tribal gatherings.

One last question: If the Khristians win the war on Halloween, does that mean I have to give up my annual pumpkin patch vigil for the Great Pumpkin?5138234379_9d16046cbd_b