N.D. Republicans Want To Make It Legal For Nutjobs To Kill Protesters With Their Cars

29554803662_1992b65ca2_bNorth Dakota is a scenic state with its rolling hills and farmland, Theodore Roosevelt National Park, Devil’s Lake, and the badlands at Little Missouri State Park, to name just a few attractions.

Unfortunately, the actions of some of its legislators aren’t nearly as attractive. Case in point: House Bill No.1203, currently making its way through the legislative process.

The bill is a reaction to the peaceful (at least on the part of the protesters) pipeline protest at North Dakota’s Standing Rock Reservation. It seems that the mother of one of the legislators was inconvenienced by having to slow down while driving down a road, lined with parked cars and protesters.

Well, by Koch, the legislator, Rep. Keith Kempenich, wasn’t going to sit idly by and let his mother and others be inconvenienced by no damn environmental protesters. He got together with some of his fellow troglodytes (Representatives Mike Brandenburg, Vernon Laning, Bill Oliver, & Karen Rohr and Senators Dwight Cook & Donald Schaible) to put a stop to this tomfoolery. Btw, these are all Republicans. (Well, I did say they were “troglodytes.”)

Last week (1/9/16) they introduced House Bill No. 1203, which not only eliminates any fiscal liability for damages caused by injuring or killing a pedestrian protester “on a public road, street, or highway,”

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a driver of a motor vehicle who negligently causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway may not be held liable for any damages.

It also eliminates any criminal charges.

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a driver of a motor vehicle who unintentionally causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway is not guilty of an offense.

Now, according to Kempenich,

It’s shifting the burden of proof from the motor vehicle driver to the pedestrian.

Problem is,it’s kind of like “Stand Your Ground.” How is the victim going to argue otherwise if he’s dead?

But Kempenich also admitted his real reason for the legislation. Regarding the protests, he stated,

It puts people on edge. People who live out there are feeling terrorized.

Btw, according to the Billings Gazette, Kempenich is chairman of the board “that decides how some of the state’s billions in oil wealth is invested.” (No conflict of interest there, I’m sure.)

The bill is set for hearings by the Joint Transportation Committee on the 20th of January.

Stay tuned!

(The above links on the sponsors’ names will provide you with their contact info, just in case you’d like to apprise them of your thoughts on this bill.)

Pottygate? Trump’s Porta Potty Coverup

Don's JohnsI was doing a bit of story mining looking for a subject to write about when I came across a metaphor for Trump’s (aka Herr Rump) coronation. Fittingly, it centered around porta potties.

As with all things “Donald,” (at least in his fantasies) his coronation as president is going to be YUUUGE! However, from some indications, that may not be the case.

For instance, hotel bookings suggest it will be less than half the size of Obama’s – 800 thousand to 1.8 million. Also, the Women’s March on Washington, on the following day, has reserved three times the number of bus permits – 1200 to 393 at last count. (Of course, most of his supporters may be getting around in limos rather than public buses.)

Be that as it may, since Herr Rump thinks his celebration is going to be the BIGLYEST he wants the most of everything, including, it seems, places to sit and shit. And, evidently, the largest supplier of porta potties in the Washington D.C. area is a company named “Don’s Johns.”

(I can just imagine the promotion campaign: “Don’s Johns: The Presidential Porta Potty provider. The perfect solution for Trump chump rump dumps. Now equipped with “Golden Shower” receptacles.”)

Someone in the coronation committee must have thought that connecting (non-twitter generated) fecal matter with the “Golden Guy” might not be such a good idea. The order went out  to cover up the “Don’s Johns” label on the potties.DJ CU

Like most ideas generated by this clown crew, it wasn’t even quite half baked. They covered the name with blue tape that didn’t really conceal the name.

And, of course, this action did NOT go unnoticed.

WASHINGTON (AP) — It’s the great port-a-potty cover-up for President-elect Donald Trump’s

The Wall Street Journal,” “Fox News,” the “New York Daily News” and even “The Blaze” covered it.

The last word on the subject was that Don’s Johns CEO, Rob Weghorst” has sent his employees to rip the tapes off. As Mr Weghorst put it,

We like to have our names on our units.


p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did.It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).



Trump’s Love of Gold Extends to Showers? Who Knew?

Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore_2Oh, dem golden showers Oh dem golden showers

Dem golden showers I’se goin’ to take Because they get me off.*

*With apologies to James K Bland. (Writer of “Golden Slippers”)

Believe it or not, writing rants and raves requires a bit of research. (I don’t mind if my snarks misfire, but I HATE it if my facts do.)

Some days, when I’m trying to sift through sites like “Brietbart,” Trunews,” or “InfoWars,” it’s like trying to find a needle in a shitstack. Other days, Mother Google alone, will shower me with a plethora of golden goodies. This has been one of those days. (The latter, not the former.)

As you’ve probably heard, unless you’ve been living on that asteroid that barely missed earth last Monday (1/9/16), Donald Trump (aka “Herr Rump, aka “Duh Fuhrer-to-be”) has reportedly been engaging in some naughty, naughties with several Soviet strumpets.

He’s accused of a lot of other nefarious acts, some of which border on TREASON! (Some may even sneak over the border.) However, humanity being what humanity is, it’s the sexual highjinks (lowjinks?) that have hit the headlines. (This one included.)

Since political, religious and sexual picadillos are my passion, (as well as great fodder for posts) I decided to throw my cent and a half worth in.

As I inferred before, research on this was easy peasy! Here’s what I mean:15940786_1579009972112697_127471616537975328_n“trump supporters regret voting for him”

This one got about 1,220,000 results in 0.50 seconds. Of course there are a lot of causes for voter regret and a lot of them have nothing to do with whizzing. (Come to think about it, I wonder if that’s how he maintains his “golden glow.”) Several of these references go back days or weeks.

“trump shower pee”

This one might be a bit confusing because he didn’t pee in the shower. (At least, not that I know of. And, to be honest, I don’t want to “know of.”) He was showered on the bed, which gives a whole new dimension to “wet the bed.”

“trump pee”

This one brought up a number of interesting headlines, including my favorite: “Golden showers’ rain on Trump’s victory parade in a pee-for-all scandal


Lest you think I snuck this one in to keep my boss happy…..(Well, actually, I did.) Although, we did do a post on it a couple days ago.

“trump pee party”

This was used in the headlines of a number of posts. Not sure if that was the best they could think of, or they were Lewis Carroll fans.

“did trump pee on hookers?”

Questions in headlines always draw more clicks. (That’s one reason I used two in mine.) However, as far as I know, it was the other way around. This falls under misleading, and to be honest, I’m not a big fan of “misleading.”

“trump pee pants”

I’m not sure about that. Maybe he depends on “Depends.” Interestingly, (at least to me) this brought up a link to GOPocalypse’s aforementioned post: The Top 15 Responses To Trump’s Golden Shower Bombshell That Will Surely Make You Pee A Little Too

“donald trump pee in hotel”

As much as I don’t mind being unfair to Herr Rump, this one pushes it a bit. I mean, haven’t we all peed in a hotel?

“keith olbermann trump video”

Not quite sure if this was a good search inquiry. Keith does videos about Trump a couple times a week lately.

Anyway, all this should give you a sample of the various search terms used to pursue the salacious details. (Not to mention, give me a post of approximately 600 words.)

In parting, let me leave you with the immortal words of my grandpappy:

It’s better to be pissed off, than pissed on!

Does Trump’s CIA Director Want To Start A Holy War?

This threat to America is from people who deeply believe that Islam is the way and the light and the only answer. These folks believe that it is religiously driven for them to wipe Christians from the face of the earth…. They abhor Christians, and will continue to press against us until we make sure that we pray and stand and fight and make sure that we know that Jesus Christ our savior is truly the only solution for our world. – Mike Pompeo, Trump’s pick for CIA Director

The above quote was part of a speech Representative Mike Pompeo, (R-Kansas) gave to a church group in Wichita, Kansas, in 2014.

While Pompeo did not come out and directly advocate declaring war on Islam, there were several embedded “dog whistles,” (Conveniently denoted in boldface.) to get the message across. Such as: “It is religiously driven for them to wipe Christians from the face of the earth,” “make sure that we pray and stand and fight” and “Jesus Christ our savior is truly the only solution for our world.

That last one is especially troubling. Allow me to translate down the audio spectrum: “Christianity should rule the world or we’re in deep doo-doo.”

Don’t think that the Wichita speech was a “one off.” Last year, he addressed the Summit Church in his home district. This particular church  specializes in Satanism and paranormal activity. In that speech, he called the fight against radical Islam “the kind of struggle this country has not faced since its great wars.

So, who the hell is Mike Pompeo? For starters, he’s a former army captain that thinks he knows more about military matters than the Pentagon, State Department and Obama. He’s currently been nominated to head the CIA by Donald Trump.

You might remember him as part of the Benghazi witch hunt, looking for Hillary Clinton’s “smoking gun.” (Or at least, her broomstick.) Mike never found the gun, but he still managed to shoot himself in the foot.

As you might guess, being elected in Kansas, Mike flies with his right wing only. He pushes a number of fantasies cherished by troglodytes.

As bad as these things may be, they don’t have a lot to do with his proposed position at the CIA. But, these do:

“Why would you spy on friends? Because it’s a place where you find people who are trying to do enormous harm to America.”

  • He also thinks the N.S.A. needs to spy on American citizens. (Can you say “Big Brother is Watching?”)
  • He’s a torture fanboy. Despite the fact that torture hardly ever results in actionable intelligence. Not to mention that it’s against national and international laws.
  • He’s “skeptical” about global climate change. (See “fossil fuels” comment above.) This despite the fact that the Department of Defense asserts that climate change will affect the Pentagon’s ability to “defend the nation” and “poses immediate risks to U.S. national security.”
  • As you may have noticed, he’s an Islamophobe. Not a good position to hold when trying to deal with the ongoing series of Middle East Crises. (Not to mention, it destroys the myth of American impartiality when it comes to negotiations.)
  • Pompeo belongs to a group, (Member’s Bible Study) who’s illustrious members, past and present, include Jeff Sessions, Michele Bachmann, Steve King, Louie Gohmert and Mike Pence. The group is lead by Ralph Drollinger, an anti-LGBT clergyman who has called Catholicism the “world’s largest false religion.”

Referring to Pence, Sessions, and Pompeo, Dollinger stated,

Suddenly these men who have been discipled by the Church are in prominent positions of authority to change the course of America in ways that are biblical.

(Yeah, the “Revelations” part of the bible!)

Stay tuned!

Featured Image credit: Gage Skidmore



Confessions of a ‘Demon Possessed’ Progressive

Yes folks, evidently, somewhere within my inner being, there dwelleth a demon. What kind of demon, I’m not sure. It can’t be an Incubus  because I haven’t gotten laid in ages. Maybe it’s Beelzebub. I’ve always considered myself to be a “fallen angel.”

Don’t get me wrong. I am not a subscriber to any of the “Current Prevailing Mythologies,” although I think Zoroastrianism is a hoot! (Jews and Early Christians must have thought so as well, since they adopted so much of it.)

I am not an Agnostic. Agnostics are really just “Chicken Atheists”.

I’m a “real, live, full-blown, fire-breathing Atheist” complete with horns and a tail.dragon-253539_1280-1080x654OK, I exaggerated a little on that last bit. I am real and I am alive (at least the last time I checked). I am full (especially around dinnertime), but I haven’t been blown in ages. Also, my breath may be a mite odoriferous, but it isn’t really incendiary. (The breath from my nether “mouth” is another matter altogether.) And, the closest I get to “horns and a tail” is being horny for some tail. (Boy, am I gonna hear from the “Fems” on that one.)

However, despite my disbelief in things that go “Woo Woo” in the night, it seems I’ve been infected by one of the Woo-Wooers. At least that’s what court-marshaled and kicked out, ex Navy chaplain, Gordon Klingenschmitt, claims.

It seems I’ve had the temerity to criticize Gordon in the past. It all started back in May of 2015. At that time, Mr K wasn’t too tickled about SCOTUS refusing to hear a challenge to New Jersey’s law, banning conversion therapy.

Of course, he knew exactly why they took that awful position. SCOTUS was cooperating with demonic spirits. Upon learning about that, I decided to research and write a post on the matter.

Over the following months, I’ve had occassions to revisit this loony toon. I mean, how could I pass up a filbert who claims that the FCC lets demonic spirits molest and visually rape children.

Well, (And, you may notice a thread running through all this.) criticizing this crackpot brought on a bad case of demon possession.

Le’ me ‘splain, or rather, lat the Colorado Coo Coo ‘splain.

On a recent Pray in Jesus Name program, Mr K revisited his favorite theme:

There is a demonic spirit of persecution in the world. They all hate Christians and they want to silence us and they want to accuse us and they want to falsely attribute words to us that we never said and then they want to twist our words to claim that we are the haters, that we are the criminals for simply exposing their evil.

He went on to claim that Christians that tell the truth are “going to stir up some angry demons inside of your opposition.

That doesn’t mean the Christians are wrong. It means there is something inside of those other people that was there before we came and now it’s getting angry because it is being exposed and that is the demonic spirit.

Problem is, Gordon Klingenschmitt is NOT a “Christian!” He’s what I term a “Khristian.” Christ never taught the bullshit this anal pit spews. In fact, a good percentage of his oral bowel movements are antithetical to Christ’s teachings. (Yes folks, like most of you, I spent my childhood going to Sunday School.)

That, (at least according to him) still leaves me with my possession problem. I’m not into exorcisms, but I wonder if a good strong dose of Ipecac would work?

Speaking of medicine, if you’ve got some Emetrol handy, here’s the program segment:

Shameless Plug #1: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”). You might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Shameless Plug #2: If you happen to be connected to a major progressive news site, I’m looking for a gig. One that allows me to be me. (I have a hell of a hard time being someone else.) If you are such a person, give me a buzz over on “Grouchy’s Grumbles.”

Are Witches Advising High-Ranking Government Officials?

the-witches-are-hereIt’s a horrible time for “KKKhristians” (as opposed to “Christians”). The witches are here and it’s not even Halloween yet!

Not only that, but Muslims are being given “preferential treatment(Horror of horrors, three of them are even judges!) and “the cross is being degraded in America, the Christians are being—the very thing Jesus said would happen in the Last Days, that we would be, because we serve God, we would be attacked, we would be hated for the name of Christ’s sake. It seems like our nation is kinder to other faiths and Christianity is being put down further and further and further

Ok, let me explain a couple of things before we proceed with this nonsense:

  • Witches don’t exist! At least not the “flying by broomstick,” or “Double, double, toil and trouble” type. Yes, there are Wiccans, but by-and-large, they tend to be pacific in their beliefs and there’s no real magic about them.
  • I use the term “KKKhristians” because these troglodytes’ rantings are the antithesis of Christ’s teachings. He preached love, they preach hate.
  • Islam is just like any other “religion.” There’s good in it and there’s bad in it. If you’re going to judge all Muslims by ISIS, (which destroy’s Islamic holy sites with impunity and is deeply violent) then you have to judge Christianity by the KKK (which hates all races except Caucasian with impunity and has a deep history of violence).

In the fevered mind of some filberts, Islam is taking over the country, lead by that secret Muslim (and suspected Anti-Christ) Barack Hussein Obama. (FYI, his middle name proves he’s Muslim, just like mine “LeRoy” proves I’m a king.)

What’s the purpose of the Islamic conquest you might ask? Why, to impose Sharia Law, of course. (At least that’s what the religious trogs claim.) To be honest, I’m a bit confused why KKKhristians are so opposed to that, since Sharia Law is almost exactly the same as Evangelical Law, which they support.

Ok, so what do Muslims taking over and Witches in high councils have to do with one another?

Both “items” were the subject of discussion yesterday’s (9/22/16) on Jim Bakker’s program. You remember Jimmy. He’s the “family values” televangelist who cheated on his wife and diddled his secretary. Then he got several years of rock hockey lessons at the Iron Bar Inn for defrauding his “church.” Well, Jim’s out and back to the old con.

Jimmy was a bit unhappy about Obama having the nerve to nominate another Muslim attorney to be a federal judge. His guest was Robert Maginnis, a member of the Family Research Council. After Jimmy made the above “the cross is being degraded” statement, Bobby agreed, adding “the persecution against Christians is rampant in the Pentagon and that the Obama administration is aggressive against Christians.

He then went on to claim that he had met with witches that advised government big wigs in Washington D.C.

I have personally met people that refer to themselves as witches, people that say they advise the senior leadership of the country. We invite within the federal government people to advise us and often some of those advisers, I think, have evil motivations, things that you and I would not approve of.

If you have the stomach or the stomach medicine for it, here’s the video:

Ann Coulter’s ‘In Trump We Trust’ Book Disaster

CnGb8LdUEAAkQkeThis hasn’t been the best of weeks for Ann Coulter (aka “The Wicked Witch of the NE”).

Oh, it started out just fine. She had a brand new book coming out, entitled “In Trump We Trust.” I’m sure she thought she had another hit, since there are more than enough gullible, low information types (That’s “PC” for stupid.) to send the book up the best seller lists.

The hairball himself, Donald Trump, even tweeted nice things about it.

.@AnnCoulter‘s new book, ‘In Trump We Trust, comes out tomorrow. People are saying it’s terrific – knowing Ann I am sure it is!

(Of course, he hadn’t read it, but details like that never seem to bother him.)

Then the book came out! (And, the snarks started flying.)

First, there was the title, “In Trump We Trust,” in which the orange oligarch replaces Big Daddy.

Ann Coulter’s new book is titled “In Trump We Trust?” Sounds like blasphemy to me.

Not content with mangling that slogan, which only goes back to 1956, (sorry, religious troglodytes) she also takes on “E Pluribus Unum” which goes back to the Continental Congress in 1782. The term, for those of you who slept through Latin class, means “from many, one.”

Well, since that sounds too much like it’s celebrating diversity, Ann changed it to “E Pluribus Awesome.” I’ll skip the fact that the Latin word for awesome is “terribilis.” (Which is a better fit.) What I’m wondering about is “from many what?” Lies? Scams? Lawsuits? Bankruptcies? The list goes on and on.

Ok, enough nits picked about the cover, lets look at the content. Here’s some gems (of the zircon variety):

Trump is like a Shakespearean ‘fool’: he seems crass because he speaks the truth.

We need more narcissists running for public office.

Being crude is an indispensible requirement.

And, of course, the raison d’etre of the book. (For any French class sleepers or “baggers” in the audience, “raison d’etre” means “the most important purpose.” Who says my posts aren’t educational?)

Liberals compulsively demand the importation of foreigners because of their seething hatred of the historic American nation. They won’t be happy until the DAR-eligible population is a tiny minority. Any culture that replaces American culture is an improvement, as far as they are concerned.

And, as for the infallibility of Big Daddy’s stand in:

There’s nothing Trump can do that won’t be forgiven. Except change his immigration policies.

Guess what! Hairball changed his immigration policies. (Or, somebody did and he just read the teleprompter.)

Guess what again! The WWotNE is NOT happy!

At first, in an interview for “The Hill,” she tried to spin it.

It’s just rhetoric but it’s still annoying. I think he panicked and he had to say [it] … I don’t think he is softening. I mean the big thing is the wall.

Later, as the fact sunk in that he had undermined the whole purpose of her book and cost her sales, she took to Twitter. (As twits often do.)

Only part he left out was the “hoops” they’ll have to jump through! Trump:”No citizenship. Let me go a step further—they’ll pay back-taxes”

Trump: “they have to pay taxes, there’s no amnesty” [Pro Tip: “Back taxes” means we pay illegals $30k apiece in EITC.}

It’s not “amnesty.” It’s “comprehensive immigration reform”!!!! Trump: “they have to pay taxes, there’s no amnesty.”

Well, if it’s “hard,” then nevermind. Trump: “… to take a person who’s been here for 15 or 20 years ….It’s a very, very hard thing.”

Btw, the book is available on Amazon, already marked down 40%.

Idaho faith healer: ‘Medicine is a product from Satan’

Laying_on_of_handsIdaho is in the news again. Oregon’s beautiful, but slightly wacky neighbor (It’s Tea Party troglodyte heaven, seasoned with a large dash of Mormon style fundamentalism.) is considering whether to remove a shield law that allows parents to kill their children by denying them proper medical care because “religion.”

After two children died from lack of medical care because of the parents’ beliefs, the Governor, Butch Otter, ordered a task force to look into the situation.

As you can see from the chart below, Idaho is one of nine states where you can get away with negligent homicide, manslaughter or capital murder because “Big Daddy” told you to do it. It’s also a “get out of jail free” card in Washington, Iowa, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Ohio, West Virginia and Virginia.
(You pull that shit in Oregon and we’ll give you a multi-year vacation at the Iron Bar Inn.)

(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

You’ll find a lot more info on the subject at Child Inc.

Last Thursday, (8/9/16) the Idaho legislature held hearings on the matter. Among those testifying, was self-professed “faith healer,” Dan Sevy. (Ever notice that these charlatans are always “self-professed?”) Accompanying Dan were 12 of “God’s groupies” from the cult-like church, “Followers of Christ.”

According to their post in Wikipedia, among the “Followers of Christ” doctrines is “a literal interpretation of scripture, including in the power of faith healing…the use of prayer and laying on of hands by church elders is believed able to cure illness…members of the Followers of Christ refuse all forms of medicine and professional medical care…The church practices shunning of those who violate or challenge church doctrine, including those who seek medical treatment.

In fairness (and more than a little embarrassment) I have to admit that the “Followers of Christ” organization is based in Oregon (with “churches” in a few other states, including Idaho). In fact, they are the reason we have strict laws against this sort of thing.

After several cases of members’ children “gone to meet their maker” a bit early because faith, prayers and laying hands on them didn’t cut it, the Oregon legislature “murdered” the religious exemption unanimously.

Which brings us back to the aforementioned “faith healer” and his attempt to keep Idaho from doing the same.

In his testimony, Sevy stated,

I want to point out that we believe in freedom of health care. Not free health care, but freedom of choice in health care.

Translation (according to church precepts): “We believe in the freedom to deny health care to the sick and dying.”

He continued,

And there’s no greater suffering than one that is personal to oneself, whether it be himself or his children, and I as a parent find the suffering of my children far greater than my own.

At this point, a State Senator, Jeff Siddoway, commented that he is religious (Mormon) and considers medicine one of God’s gifts. (If that’s true, Big Daddy was a few thousand years late in giving it.)

Sevy wasn’t buying that!

We believe that pharmaceuticals and medicine is a product from Satan. Proof can be found in one of the lost books of Enoch.

Equating it with “witchcraft and sorcery,” he continued,

Those who imbibe in those things will not attain a home in heaven…We do disagree with medicine and believe that it puts our very eternal lives in jeopardy…Our goal is eternity, it isn’t here. Our goal is not suffering…If the statute is changed, I’ll not change anything I do.

Btw, Sevy was the father of five children. Only three survived!

Will the task force make any recommendations to the legislature? And, if they do, will the legislature do anything about it?

I wouldn’t be inclined to hold my breath. After all this is the state legislature that passed a law requiring that the bible be part of the curriculum in courses such as law, philosophy, ethics, astronomy, biology, geology, world geography and archaeology. (Fortunately, the governor vetoed the law.)

However, if you think shield laws like this should be dumped in the trash where they belong, there is an online petition to get Idaho to do something about it. You’ll find it here.

Stay tuned!

In the meantime, check out the “faith healer’s” performance below and see how many “rotten tomatoes” you think it deserves.

Photo Credit: Public Domain photograph courtesy of Wikipedia.
Chart courtesy of http://childrenshealthcare.org
Video courtesy of The Idaho Statesman

Will the Republican House Elect the Next President?

It’s like déjà vu all over again. – Yogi Berra

4393514042_ff5e669e66_bI’d say Glenn (Conspiracies-R-Me) Beck is back, but unfortunately, he never seems to go away.

As many of you may know, Beck is not a big fanboy of The DONALD (aka “hairball”). He’s much more of a Cruz creep. After Cruzy abandoned his presidential wannabe quest until next cycle and left Glenn without a jackass in the race, Beck has been trying desperately to find a way to handicap the “orange oligarch.”

Well, by jinkies, Beck thinks he’s found a way. (My apologies for using “Beck” and “thinks” in the same sentence.) Now, I know the “never Trump” movement has tried and failed miserably to keep hairball from winning the nomination, but Glenn has a much bigger goal. He wants to stop him from winning the general election.

He wants a true blue (or is that “true red?”) conservative candidate to steal the election from dapper Donald. (More on that in a moment.)

Of course, there are a few minor(?) obstacles to overcome. You can find a list of them HERE. However, to save you the ordeal of having to click a link, I’ll summarize.

  • It costs a hell of a lot of money to get on the ballot in all 50 states.
  • Even if you had the Benjamins, it’s too late to get on the ballot of a lot of states.
  • Even if you had the Benjamins and a handy, dandy time machine to get you on the ballot in all 50 states, there’s virtually no reality in which you could win 270 electoral votes.
  • The only person who would benefit, would be Hillary, since you’d be splitting the conservative base.

Looks like an intractable problem, doesn’t it? Au contraire mon ami!

Since it would be impossible for Beck’s boy (Well, you knew his choice isn’t going to be female, didn’t you?) to reach 270. The trick is to make sure nobody else makes 270, so that the election is decided by the Republican controlled House of Reps.

…and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President… U.S. Constitution, Article II, section 1, clause 3

This has actually happened a couple of times. Once, after the election of 1800, the House decided that Tom Jefferson won over John Adams. Jefferson also got the most votes in the election, 41,300 – 26,952. After the 1824 election, the House declared John Q. Adams the victor. This, despite the fact that Andy Jackson got the most votes, 151,271 – 113,122.

I’m not gonna comment on the SCOTUS decided election of 2000.

The first step in the process was to find a catchy name for his plan. Beck, or one of his minions decided to call it “Bailout2016.” I have to admit, I was a bit surprised at the choice. I thought bailouts were anathema to conservatives. (Note to any “baggers” reading this: “anathema” means something or someone that one vehemently* dislikes.) *strongly

Step two is to provide an alternative to the hairy one. According to #Bailout2016’s website, there are certain criteria to be met;

  1. You need someone who is not supporting Trump. (That eliminates 36 current and 8 former senators, 163 members of the House, 19 current and 12 former governors.)
  2. You need someone who is not a slave to the party. (See #1)
  3. You need someone who has an easy enough path to win these states and won’t need the help of conventional money and party resources. Perhaps someone self-funding? Or someone with an unfair advantage via identity politics or home state? (Willie, want to make another run?)
  4. You need someone who will actually do it. (Has a bullet-proof ego.)
  5. You need someone that doesn’t care about his future in Republican circles. (Because, he will have none.)
  6. And perhaps, most difficult, you need someone who is very well liked by the incoming members of the House of Representatives. (A Koch Bros lobbyist, perhaps?)

And, of course, someone who is an actual conservative (by Glenn’s definition, anyway).

Step three is where to spend your limited bucks to the greatest effect. Here again, there are criteria.

  1. Avoid “Blue States.” (Hillary is going to win there anyway so it’s just wasted money.)
  2. Avoid “Purple States.” (Don’t hand those to Clinton, wrapped up in a pretty red ribbon.)
  3. Target states that hairball lost. (They didn’t like him anyway, so it makes the job easier.)
  4. Eliminate all states with ballot deadlines that come before mid-August. (That eliminates all the states, except Utah, Idaho and Wyoming, with a total of 13 electoral votes.)
  5. Since 13 electoral votes aren’t gonna do diddly, some borderline states need to be added. According to Bailout2016, those states are: North Dakota, Montana, Louisiana and Kentucky. That brings the electoral total up to a whopping 35. (I never said this plan wasn’t stupid, cause it is.)

The next step is to find a sucker….er, candidate to run. The aforementioned website listed several possibilities, ranging from Willie to “Little” Dick Cheney. (Despite the fact that Little Dick came out for hairball.) They haven’t actually got one yet. For a bit, it looked like they settled on right-wingnut writer Brad Thor. However, the latest word is that he has declined the honor.

Are there problems with this grand scheme? Oh, lawdy, way too many to count. Let me concentrate on the big two.

Number one: This has been tried before, with disastrous results.

Back in 1948, Southern Democrats stormed out of the Democratic National Convention, because the Dems had the audacity to insert a civil rights plank in their platform. The apostate Democrats formed the States Rights Democratic Party (aka “Dixiecrat Party”).

They then attempted to usurp the regular Democratic ticket on the southern state ballots, hoping to force the election into the House of Representatives, where they thought they’d get their way. To this end they did manage to replace the Democratic ticket in South Carolina and Mississippi (surprise, surprise) as well as Alabama and Louisiana. In the rest of the south, they had to run as a 3rd party (which they were).

Unfortunately for them (fortunately for the rest of us) their grand plan fizzled. They ended up getting 1,175,930 votes (2.4%) and carrying Alabama, Louisiana, Mississippi and South Carolina, which along with an electoral vote in Tennessee gave them a grand total of 39. By comparison, the Republican ticket (Tom Dewey and Earl Warren) got 21,991,292 votes (45.1%), carried 14 states and received 189 electoral votes. Harry Truman got 24,179,347 votes (49.6%), carried 30 states and received 303 electoral votes.

Number two: This whole scheme presupposes that Hillary won’t get more than 260 electoral votes.

According to the latest poll, Hillary is leading hairball by 15 points. And yes, polls are volatile. However, except for a few outlier polls, she has maintained a consistent lead throughout this cycle. For that to change, hairball will have to pull out the old etch-a-sketch and so far he has shown absolutely no inclination to do anything remotely resembling that.

Stay tuned!

Featured Image Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore

Massive Numbers of Sanders Supporters Switching to Clinton

24527808392_a6ef950989_bSome Sanders supporters at the Democratic National Convention have been very vocal in expressing their displeasure that “their man” did not win the nomination. That even extended to booing Bernie, at a rally Monday morning, when he said “We must elect Hillary Clinton!”

In every hard-fought political campaign, there are hard core “true believers” that mentally refuse to believe that they lost. And, if they did, it had to be because of some chicanery and they would NEVER support the winner. As justification, they would claim it was because of the “chicanery” or some personal or political flaw (real or imagined) in the winner. In 2008, there were a number of Hillary supporters that yelled and screamed that they would never support Obama. However, in the end, the vast majority of them did and Obama won the election.

The media loves to emphasize discord and conflict in politics. (It’s good for sales.) And, the so-called “Bernie-bots” gave them plenty of fodder. As is often the case, media blew it out of proportion to the point that it looked like the “bots” were representative of all of Sanders’ supporters. I still see headlines that imply that Hillary is doomed because Bernie’s people won’t support her.

PP_16.07.24_demNomination_report_typesHowever, according to Pew Research, that is NOT the case. Pew ran a number of preference polls throughout the primary season and in comparing them, found some interesting facts.

As expected, both Bernie and Hillary had their consistent backers. In Hillary’s case that amounted to 29% of Democratic and Democratic leaning registered voters. Bernie laid claim to 20% of those Dem and Dem leaning voters. And, as is also expected in a stretched out campaign, 44% vacillated between the candidates. Sometimes they supported Hillary, sometimes they supported Bernie and 7% never could make up their minds.

So far, no big surprises, but here’s one:

Out of those consistent Sanders supporters, 2% are going to sit on their butts in November or vote for minor party candidates like Jill Stein (Green Party), Gary Johnson (Libertarian Party) or Rocky De La Fuente (American Delta Party). Eight percent of Sanders supporters are going to jump to Trump.

And (drum roll please).,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,90% are going to vote for Hillary.

So, what should you do the next time, some die-hard Bernie-bot claims that Hillary is going to lose to Trump in November, because she just can’t win without the support of all those people that voted for Bernie in the primaries?

Just smile. You’re never going to burst their fantasy bubble anyway. So, why try?

Featured Image Photo Credit: VectorOpenStock, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license; Chart courtesy of Pew Research Center