Sheriff, or more accurately, Ex-Sheriff, Joe Arpaio got some bad news this week. A mean old judge decided that violating a court order is a NO-NO, even if you are “America’s Toughest Sheriff!” (That’s the way Sheriff Joe thought of himself. Others would have used a different adjective!)
As a reward for blatantly not doing what he was told to do and doing what he was told not to do (aka “Criminal Contempt“), Sheriff Joe gets an all-expense-paid vacation at the local “Stony Lonesome Inn” for up to 6 months.
The good thing for Sheriff Joe (and the sad thing for the rest of us) is that the man that knocked him out at the ballot box, closed the “tent city” jail. (Sitting in a tent on a 110 degree summer day gets awfully close to “cruel & unusual.”) Also gone are those pretty pink jumpsuits Sheriff Joe liked his prisoners to wear. (Sheriff Joe sure must like pink…..)
Maybe they could make an exception and bring those back, just for Joe. (He’d be more comfortable in familiar surroundings.)
Now, the filbert-fringe types claim this is all a Dem plot to defame a true defender of ‘Murica! (At least the “white” part of it.) They’ve been hoping that the feds would drop the whole thing now that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer”) has taken over. Didn’t happen!
Fear not! Rick Wyles has come up with a llollapa-LOSER of a brain(?)storm.
You may remember the Rickster from such gems as:
- Target Restroom Policy Will Spark Nuclear War;
- Obama And Satan Will ‘Rape Your Children;
- Obama Killed Scalia As A Pagan Human Sacrifice;
- and one of my faves: Satan Using Pokémon Go To Spawn ‘Demonic Powers’ And Murder Christians.
There’s a hell of a lot more, but you get the picture.
Anyway, now that it’s too late to get the case dropped, it’s time to get a pardon from Hair Fuhrer. (Maybe as part of a group thingy when our gearless leader pardons himself, his family, staff and any Russians involved.) That would free up Sheriff Joe to take the next step up the ladder. (And avoid singing the “Iron Bar Blues.”)
“What would that next step be?” you may ask.
Isn’t it obvious? But here, I’ll let the Rickster tell you:
I have an idea. In addition to giving him a presidential pardon … President Trump, if you want to stand for justice and do something to strike against the deep state, please nominate Sheriff Arpaio to be the next secretary of Homeland Security.
The position will put him in charge of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, along with the U.S. Border Patrol Agency. Your friends will shout with excitement and gratitude and your enemies will howl in misery, like wounded wolves.
Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration. As for America, it’s one of the last things we need!
Featured Image Credit: Gage Skidmore
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it. I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).