Ever notice that a lot of Republican candidates for president like to claim that “God” told them to run?
It never seems to be Democrats that claim a holy endorsement. That’s probably because, as every good Regressive teabag sucker knows, Dems are atheistic socialist Nazis or Beel-Zebub boosters or members of the “Gay Mafia” or something like that. They are therefore totally unworthy of any heavenly guidance.
However, the first question that comes to my mind, is “which god?” It’s probably not the one below, although he is part elephant. That’s Ganesh, the Hindu god of wisdom and learning. And, since we’re talking about Republicans, that pretty much lets him out.
It isn’t the god of the New Testament. He was apolitical. As J.C. put it,
…Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s. – Matthew 22:21 (KJV)
After listening to the various “born again” candidates, I’ve come to the conclusion that the Republican god is probably the Old Testament god, YHWH, formally known as El, the supreme god of the Mesopotamian Semite pantheon in the pre-Sargonic period.
He personified fire and brimstone! A cranky, vindictive, narcissistic, blood-thirsty bully with a seven-mile wide jealousy streak, who didn’t play well with his fellow gods.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me. – Exodus 20:3-5 (KJV)
Remind you of any Regressive candidates?
What the bible doesn’t point out, is that he also has a weird sense of humor, at least when it comes to politics. Lemme ‘splain.
Last presidential cycle, I noticed that several presidential wannabes were “Big Daddy” endorsed.
To start with, He told Mother Michele that she should run.”If I felt that’s what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it. When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That’s really my standard. If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve, but if I am not called, I wouldn’t do it.”
I guess she got the call. ( I wonder if it was a text message?)
Herman “heard the word”. (Probably after using the wrong mushrooms on his pizza.) Cain told one crowd. “God said, ‘Not yet. I’ve got something else for you to do.’ And it might be to become the president of the United States of America.” (Was that the “God” of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, I wonder?)
The Rickster, (known to Bubbas, far & wide as “Cuzin Ricky.) felt the mighty hand of God. (Hmmm. What part of him was “God” touching?)
“I have basically been called to serve my country. “That’s what this election is about. It is not about me. It is about this country.” He added: “Your country is calling you. At a matter of fact, your children are counting on you to answer the call. And the Lord said to the Prophet Isaiah, he said, ‘Who shall I send? Who will go for us? And Isaiah held his hand up and said, ‘Here I am. Send me.’ Your country is calling you today. Your country is calling you to do your duty.”
Then there’s the “Guy from God” himself: Saint Orum!
The saint, speaking to pastors and spiritual muckity-mucks, said: “I’m trying to walk down a path that God is leading me. I figured if this is what he is calling me to do, then I just have to go out and work hard”…
(Btw, did you notice that every one of “God’s chosen” lost?)
And now we’re in a brand new cycle, but several candidates are singing the same old hymn.
Dr Crazy may be one of the best examples of an idiot savant (emphasis on “idiot”) on this year’s Bozo bus. He may have been a brilliant brain surgeon, but other than that, he’s “Filbert City!” However, that hasn’t seemed to matter to the big guy. As he related to Bullshit Mtn last August, “I believe God will make it clear to me if that’s something I’m supposed to do…if God grabbed me by the collar and asked me to run.” When CBN’s David Brody asked him “How is that conversation going with God about this potential presidential run?” He replied “I feel his fingers.”
(So, he’s saying Big Daddy “fingered” him. Hmmm)
Mike, the former minister, former governor and on-going huckster (It’s not for nothing, I call him “Hucksterbee.”) appeared on James Robison’s “Life Today” program and asked the TV audience to pray that Big D would bless him in his quest. “For me, this is not just a political or financial decision, it is a spiritual decision. You know, the only thing worse than not being elected president would be to be elected president without God’s blessing. I can’t think of a worse place in the world to be than in the Oval Office without God’s hand upon you. I’d rather not get near the place. But if that’s a purpose, so be it. And that’s my prayer.”
(Looks like he was “blessed,” although his campaign didn’t seem to be.)
Last April, when John was a guest on “Meet the Press,” Chuck Todd asked him if he was going to run. He replied, “…the most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life? You know, he puts us on Earth, all of us on Earth, to achieve certain purposes, and I’m trying to determine if this is what the Lord wants, and I’m not going to figure that out laying in bed hoping lightning strikes, so I’m out there one foot in front of another.
(Well, being struck by lightning would explain a few things.)
Cuzin Ricky came back for a second shot at the Oval Office. Unfortunately he was out of ammunition, but the invisible man in the sky didn’t care. As the Rickster explained on “The Janet Mefferd Show,” “…It has been an incredible outpouring and I can tell you that has given me the calmness in my soul that, you know, God sends messages through a lot of ways and through a lot of messengers.”
(I guess the second time around, his messages came “second hand.”)
Also returning for another tilt at the windmill, albeit for a very short ride, was Saint Orum. (Old Righteous Rick, himself.) As Mrs Rick told CBN News, “it really boils down to God’s will. What is it that God wants? … We have prayed a lot about this decision, and we believe with all our hearts that this is what God wants.”
(Or, maybe “God” just wanted another good guffaw.)
And last, as well as pretty much least, we have Scotty who already had the blessing of a “higher power” (the Koch Bros).
Like the others, Scotty claimed that his candidacy was “God’s plan!” In his first “give me money” letter, he stated “My relationship with God drives every major decision in my life. Each day I pray and then take time to read from the Bible and from a devotional named Jesus Calling. As you can imagine, the months leading up to my announcement that I would run for President of the United States were filled with a lot of prayer and soul searching. Here’s why: I needed to be certain that running was God’s calling — not just man’s calling. I am certain: This is God’s plan for me and I am humbled to be a candidate for President of the United States.”
(Evidently, “God” didn’t plan very well.)
So there you have it: Two presidential cycles, multiple candidates endorsed by the “high guy” and every one a loser! It just might be that “God” is a practical joker. The question is, who’s the butt of the joke?