Former Disney Sculptor Creates an Anatomically Correct(?) Trump Troll Doll (NSFW)

Everybody’s least favorite web troll, Donald Trump, (aka “Herr Rump,” aka “Duh Fuhrer”) now has a doll in his image. And, fittingly, it’s a troll doll.

Careful thought was put into the details, from it’s blond mop, swept to the side to cover the tinfoil, to it’s miniature middle extremity. It even has a tiny little cell phone clutched in its tiny little hands.The only thing it doesn’t have is a “lie track,” since it doesn’t speak. But somehow, I don’t think that’s going to be missed very much.

The five inch doll is the brain child of ex-Disney sculptor, Chuck Williams.

Earlier this month, Mr. Williams started a Kickstarter campaign to raise $38,000 to start mass producing the dolls. As he stated on the site,

I want to make this figure widely available to everyone around the world that has taken a liking to my caricature sculpture and to do that I need your help to cover the costs of making the production molds and castings as well as the freight costs from the toy factory,

As of this writing, (2/22/17) over 3667 people had invested $162,481.

As to when the dolls will hit the market? According to Mr. Williams’ statement on Kickstarter,

The vinyl figures will be turned around as soon as I can get the factory on board and fulfilling the orders. I allowed a year for this under the Kickstarter protocol but I will do everything I can to make them available in a few months.

Stay tuned!

Featured Image Credit: Chuck Williams – Twitter.

N.D. Republicans Want To Make It Legal For Nutjobs To Kill Protesters With Their Cars

29554803662_1992b65ca2_bNorth Dakota is a scenic state with its rolling hills and farmland, Theodore Roosevelt National Park, Devil’s Lake, and the badlands at Little Missouri State Park, to name just a few attractions.

Unfortunately, the actions of some of its legislators aren’t nearly as attractive. Case in point: House Bill No.1203, currently making its way through the legislative process.

The bill is a reaction to the peaceful (at least on the part of the protesters) pipeline protest at North Dakota’s Standing Rock Reservation. It seems that the mother of one of the legislators was inconvenienced by having to slow down while driving down a road, lined with parked cars and protesters.

Well, by Koch, the legislator, Rep. Keith Kempenich, wasn’t going to sit idly by and let his mother and others be inconvenienced by no damn environmental protesters. He got together with some of his fellow troglodytes (Representatives Mike Brandenburg, Vernon Laning, Bill Oliver, & Karen Rohr and Senators Dwight Cook & Donald Schaible) to put a stop to this tomfoolery. Btw, these are all Republicans. (Well, I did say they were “troglodytes.”)

Last week (1/9/16) they introduced House Bill No. 1203, which not only eliminates any fiscal liability for damages caused by injuring or killing a pedestrian protester “on a public road, street, or highway,”

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a driver of a motor vehicle who negligently causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway may not be held liable for any damages.

It also eliminates any criminal charges.

Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a driver of a motor vehicle who unintentionally causes injury or death to an individual obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway is not guilty of an offense.

Now, according to Kempenich,

It’s shifting the burden of proof from the motor vehicle driver to the pedestrian.

Problem is,it’s kind of like “Stand Your Ground.” How is the victim going to argue otherwise if he’s dead?

But Kempenich also admitted his real reason for the legislation. Regarding the protests, he stated,

It puts people on edge. People who live out there are feeling terrorized.

Btw, according to the Billings Gazette, Kempenich is chairman of the board “that decides how some of the state’s billions in oil wealth is invested.” (No conflict of interest there, I’m sure.)

The bill is set for hearings by the Joint Transportation Committee on the 20th of January.

Stay tuned!

(The above links on the sponsors’ names will provide you with their contact info, just in case you’d like to apprise them of your thoughts on this bill.)

Pottygate? Trump’s Porta Potty Coverup

Don's JohnsI was doing a bit of story mining looking for a subject to write about when I came across a metaphor for Trump’s (aka Herr Rump) coronation. Fittingly, it centered around porta potties.

As with all things “Donald,” (at least in his fantasies) his coronation as president is going to be YUUUGE! However, from some indications, that may not be the case.

For instance, hotel bookings suggest it will be less than half the size of Obama’s – 800 thousand to 1.8 million. Also, the Women’s March on Washington, on the following day, has reserved three times the number of bus permits – 1200 to 393 at last count. (Of course, most of his supporters may be getting around in limos rather than public buses.)

Be that as it may, since Herr Rump thinks his celebration is going to be the BIGLYEST he wants the most of everything, including, it seems, places to sit and shit. And, evidently, the largest supplier of porta potties in the Washington D.C. area is a company named “Don’s Johns.”

(I can just imagine the promotion campaign: “Don’s Johns: The Presidential Porta Potty provider. The perfect solution for Trump chump rump dumps. Now equipped with “Golden Shower” receptacles.”)

Someone in the coronation committee must have thought that connecting (non-twitter generated) fecal matter with the “Golden Guy” might not be such a good idea. The order went out  to cover up the “Don’s Johns” label on the potties.DJ CU

Like most ideas generated by this clown crew, it wasn’t even quite half baked. They covered the name with blue tape that didn’t really conceal the name.

And, of course, this action did NOT go unnoticed.

WASHINGTON (AP) — It’s the great port-a-potty cover-up for President-elect Donald Trump’s

The Wall Street Journal,” “Fox News,” the “New York Daily News” and even “The Blaze” covered it.

The last word on the subject was that Don’s Johns CEO, Rob Weghorst” has sent his employees to rip the tapes off. As Mr Weghorst put it,

We like to have our names on our units.

 

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did.It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

 

Trump’s Love of Gold Extends to Showers? Who Knew?

Donald_Trump_by_Gage_Skidmore_2Oh, dem golden showers Oh dem golden showers

Dem golden showers I’se goin’ to take Because they get me off.*

*With apologies to James K Bland. (Writer of “Golden Slippers”)

Believe it or not, writing rants and raves requires a bit of research. (I don’t mind if my snarks misfire, but I HATE it if my facts do.)

Some days, when I’m trying to sift through sites like “Brietbart,” Trunews,” or “InfoWars,” it’s like trying to find a needle in a shitstack. Other days, Mother Google alone, will shower me with a plethora of golden goodies. This has been one of those days. (The latter, not the former.)

As you’ve probably heard, unless you’ve been living on that asteroid that barely missed earth last Monday (1/9/16), Donald Trump (aka “Herr Rump, aka “Duh Fuhrer-to-be”) has reportedly been engaging in some naughty, naughties with several Soviet strumpets.

He’s accused of a lot of other nefarious acts, some of which border on TREASON! (Some may even sneak over the border.) However, humanity being what humanity is, it’s the sexual highjinks (lowjinks?) that have hit the headlines. (This one included.)

Since political, religious and sexual picadillos are my passion, (as well as great fodder for posts) I decided to throw my cent and a half worth in.

As I inferred before, research on this was easy peasy! Here’s what I mean:15940786_1579009972112697_127471616537975328_n“trump supporters regret voting for him”

This one got about 1,220,000 results in 0.50 seconds. Of course there are a lot of causes for voter regret and a lot of them have nothing to do with whizzing. (Come to think about it, I wonder if that’s how he maintains his “golden glow.”) Several of these references go back days or weeks.

“trump shower pee”

This one might be a bit confusing because he didn’t pee in the shower. (At least, not that I know of. And, to be honest, I don’t want to “know of.”) He was showered on the bed, which gives a whole new dimension to “wet the bed.”

“trump pee”

This one brought up a number of interesting headlines, including my favorite: “Golden showers’ rain on Trump’s victory parade in a pee-for-all scandal

“gopocalypse”

Lest you think I snuck this one in to keep my boss happy…..(Well, actually, I did.) Although, we did do a post on it a couple days ago.

“trump pee party”

This was used in the headlines of a number of posts. Not sure if that was the best they could think of, or they were Lewis Carroll fans.

“did trump pee on hookers?”

Questions in headlines always draw more clicks. (That’s one reason I used two in mine.) However, as far as I know, it was the other way around. This falls under misleading, and to be honest, I’m not a big fan of “misleading.”

“trump pee pants”

I’m not sure about that. Maybe he depends on “Depends.” Interestingly, (at least to me) this brought up a link to GOPocalypse’s aforementioned post: The Top 15 Responses To Trump’s Golden Shower Bombshell That Will Surely Make You Pee A Little Too

“donald trump pee in hotel”

As much as I don’t mind being unfair to Herr Rump, this one pushes it a bit. I mean, haven’t we all peed in a hotel?

“keith olbermann trump video”

Not quite sure if this was a good search inquiry. Keith does videos about Trump a couple times a week lately.

Anyway, all this should give you a sample of the various search terms used to pursue the salacious details. (Not to mention, give me a post of approximately 600 words.)

In parting, let me leave you with the immortal words of my grandpappy:

It’s better to be pissed off, than pissed on!

hqdefault-2From the department of “How Can I Miss You if You Won’t Go The Hell Away?” comes word of Josh Duggar’s dream of making a TV comeback.

If you are asking yourself how an adulterous, pedophile (not to mention hypocrite) could worm his way back on your tv’s after being kicked off the tube for his disgraceful actions. (Actually, it was mainly due to the loss of ad revenue.) Let me explain how it works on Planet Khristian.

  1. You must do penance. In Josh’s case, he supposedly spent time at a Khristian camp atoning for his sins through labor. I say “supposedly” because there’s no actual proof that he did. He just disappeared for a few months.
  2. You must make multitudinous mea culpas. This is best done by going on sympathetic shows like those on Bullshit Mtn or maybe Dr. Phil. And, if they won’t have you, send a sympathetic surrogate, like wife Anna. (According to US Weekly, that’s exactly what he’s doing.)
  3. Do a “born again” tour. Khristians, particularly, love to hear sobbing confessions of your past misdeeds and how you spent hours on your knees begging Big Daddy to forgive you and how he spoke to you, telling you that your sins were forgiven and that you’re now “white as snow.”

According to US Weekly’s source, who’s supposedly someone close to the family,

If that goes well and people are sympathetic towards him, he is sure he can convince TLC to give him and Anna a spin-off – something to do with healing their marriage within the Christian faith.

Why, you ask, would he put himself through all that? MONEY!

Josh’s current and very fitting occupation is used car salesman at daddy’s car lot! According to Gallup Polls, that’s the least trustworthy occupation in the country. (Even bible thumpers score higher.) And, while it may be an appropriate occupation, it just doesn’t bring in the big bucks.

As US Weekly’s source put it,

Getting another reality show is the only way he can think of to make real money.

Will TLC give him another chance? Will advertisers overcome the stink and throw some Grover Clevelands (He’s the mug on the $1000 bill.) their way if they do?

Stay tuned!

Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Suspended Over Gay Marriage Opposition

maxresdefault-3Alabama Chief Justice, Roy Moore, who has been long known for his opinion that his version of Khristianity trumps the Constitution has been charged with six counts of ethics violations because of his actions against marriage equality.

  1. Violation of the Alabama Canon of Judicial Ethics, for disregarding a federal injunction.
  2. Violation of the Alabama Canon of Judicial Ethics, for demonstrated unwillingness to follow clear law.
  3. Violation of the Alabama Canon of Judicial Ethics, for abuse of administrative authority.
  4. Violation of the Alabama Canon of Judicial Ethics, for substituting his judgement for the judgement of the judgement of the entire Alabama Supreme Court, including failure to abstain from public comment about a pending proceeding in his own court.
  5. Violation of the Alabama Canon of Judicial Ethics, for interference with legal process and remedies in the United States District Court and/or Alabama Supreme Court related to proceedings in which Alabama probate judges were involved.
  6. Violation of the Alabama Canon of Judicial Ethics, for failure to recuse himself from pending proceedings in the Alabama Supreme Court after making public comment and placing his impartiality into question.

The charges resulted from a complaint filed by the Southern Poverty Law Center, (SPLC).

In January, after SCOTUS decision on marriage equality in Obergefell v. Hodges, Moore issued an order to lower court judges, blocking the granting of marriage licenses to same-sex couples, stating,

Until further decision by the Alabama Supreme Court, the existing orders of the Alabama Supreme Court that Alabama probate judges have a ministerial duty not to issue any marriage license contrary to the Alabama Sanctity of Marriage Amendment or the Alabama Marriage Protection Act remain in full force and effect.

Last evening (05/06/16), after the charges were released, SPLC President Richard Cohen stated,

He is such an egomaniac and such a religious zealot that he thinks he can ignore court orders with impunity. For the sake of our state, he should be kicked out of office.

Moore responded to the charges by claiming,

The Judicial Inquiry Commission has no authority over the administrative orders of the chief justice of Alabama or the legal injunctions of the Alabama Supreme Court prohibiting probate judges from issuing same-sex marriage licenses.

As Moore’s own history shows, they most certainly do!

This is not the first time, Moore has been suspended from his duties. In a previous stint as Alabama Chief Justice, Moore commissioned a monument with two large carved tablets inscribed with the Ten Commandments for the Alabama Supreme Court Building. At the dedication, he declared,

Today a cry has gone out across our land for the acknowledgment of that God upon whom this nation and our laws were founded….May this day mark the restoration of the moral foundation of law to our people and the return to the knowledge of God in our land.

Two months later, the ACLU of Alabama, Americans United for Separation of Church and State and the Southern Poverty Law Center filed a suit to have the monument be removed because it “sends a message to all who enter the State Judicial Building that the government encourages and endorses the practice of religion in general and Judeo-Christianity in particular.

Moore lost the suit and the appeal that followed. The judge had ruled that the monument was unconstitutional because it violated the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Moore was given until August 20, 2003 to remove it.

On the 14th of August, Moore stated that he was going to disobey the removal order. As of the 20th, as per the removal order, the state of Alabama was fined $5,000 a day. On the 21st, the other eight judges on the Alabama Supreme Court overruled Moore and ordered the monument removed.

On the 22nd, the Alabama Judicial Inquiry Commission (JIC) filed a complaint with the Alabama Court of the Judiciary (COJ). The complaint resulted in the suspension of Moore from the Chief Justice position until a hearing could be held.

The hearing was held on November 12th, 2003. During the hearing, Moore reiterated his statement that he would defy any ruling requiring the monument’s removal.

The next day, the COJ ruled that “Chief Justice Moore has violated the Alabama Canons of Judicial Ethics as alleged by the JIC in its complaint.” Due to his continued intransigence, the COJ decided that “under these circumstances, there is no penalty short of removal from office that would resolve this issue.” Moore was immediately removed from office.

‘God’ And The Republican Primary Candidates

creation-of-man-1159966_960_720Ever notice that a lot of Republican candidates for president like to claim that “God” told them to run?

It never seems to be Democrats that claim a holy endorsement. That’s probably because, as every good Regressive teabag sucker knows, Dems are atheistic socialist Nazis or Beel-Zebub boosters or members of the “Gay Mafia” or something like that. They are therefore totally unworthy of any heavenly guidance.

However, the first question that comes to my mind, is “which god?” It’s probably not the one below, although he is part elephant. That’s Ganesh, the Hindu god of wisdom and learning. And, since we’re talking about Republicans, that pretty much lets him out. Ganesh

It isn’t the god of the New Testament. He was apolitical. As J.C. put it,

Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s. Matthew 22:21 (KJV)

After listening to the various “born again” candidates, I’ve come to the conclusion that the Republican god is probably the Old Testament god, YHWH, formally known as El, the supreme god of the Mesopotamian Semite pantheon in the pre-Sargonic period.

He personified fire and brimstone! A cranky, vindictive, narcissistic, blood-thirsty bully with a seven-mile wide jealousy streak, who didn’t play well with his fellow gods.

Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me. – Exodus 20:3-5 (KJV)

Remind you of any Regressive candidates?

What the bible doesn’t point out, is that he also has a weird sense of humor, at least when it comes to politics. Lemme ‘splain.

Last presidential cycle, I noticed that several presidential wannabes were “Big Daddy” endorsed.

Michele Bachmann

No CommentTo start with, He told Mother Michele that she should run.”If I felt that’s what the Lord was calling me to do, I would do it. When I have sensed that the Lord is calling me to do something, I’ve said yes to it. But I will not seek a higher office if God is not calling me to do it. That’s really my standard. If I am called to serve in that realm I would serve, but if I am not called, I wouldn’t do it.

I guess she got the call. ( I wonder if it was a text message?)

Herman Cain

I bid $2Herman “heard the word”. (Probably after using the wrong mushrooms on his pizza.) Cain told one crowd. “God said, ‘Not yet. I’ve got something else for you to do.’ And it might be to become the president of the United States of America.(Was that the “God” of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan, I wonder?)

Rick Perry

The Rickster, (known to Bubbas, far & wide as “Cuzin Ricky.) felt the mighty hand of God. (Hmmm. What part of him was “God” touching?)

Now, where the hell did I leave my keys?I have basically been called to serve my country. “That’s what this election is about. It is not about me. It is about this country.” He added: “Your country is calling you. At a matter of fact, your children are counting on you to answer the call. And the Lord said to the Prophet Isaiah, he said, ‘Who shall I send? Who will go for us? And Isaiah held his hand up and said, ‘Here I am. Send me.’ Your country is calling you today. Your country is calling you to do your duty.

Rick Santorum

Then there’s the “Guy from God” himself: Saint Orum!

Righteous-Rick-150x150The saint, speaking to pastors and spiritual muckity-mucks, said: “I’m trying to walk down a path that God is leading me. I figured if this is what he is calling me to do, then I just have to go out and work hard”…

(Btw, did you notice that every one of “God’s chosen” lost?)

And now we’re in a brand new cycle, but several candidates are singing the same old hymn.

Ben Carson

Dr Crazy T.N. Dr Crazy may be one of the best examples of an idiot savant (emphasis on “idiot”) on this year’s Bozo bus. He may have been a brilliant brain surgeon, but other than that, he’s “Filbert City!” However, that hasn’t seemed to matter to the big guy. As he related to Bullshit Mtn last August, “I believe God will make it clear to me if that’s something I’m supposed to do…if God grabbed me by the collar and asked me to run.” When CBN’s David Brody asked him “How is that conversation going with God about this potential presidential run?” He replied “I feel his fingers.”

(So, he’s saying Big Daddy “fingered” him. Hmmm)

Mike Huckabee

M.H.Mike, the former minister, former governor and on-going huckster (It’s not for nothing, I call him “Hucksterbee.”) appeared on James Robison’s “Life Today” program and asked the TV audience to pray that Big D would bless him in his quest. “For me, this is not just a political or financial decision, it is a spiritual decision. You know, the only thing worse than not being elected president would be to be elected president without God’s blessing. I can’t think of a worse place in the world to be than in the Oval Office without God’s hand upon you. I’d rather not get near the place. But if that’s a purpose, so be it. And that’s my prayer.”

(Looks like he was “blessed,” although his campaign didn’t seem to be.)

John Kasich

J.K.Last April, when John was a guest on “Meet the Press,” Chuck Todd asked him if he was going to run. He replied, “…the most important thing is, what does the Lord want me to do with my life? You know, he puts us on Earth, all of us on Earth, to achieve certain purposes, and I’m trying to determine if this is what the Lord wants, and I’m not going to figure that out laying in bed hoping lightning strikes, so I’m out there one foot in front of another.

(Well, being struck by lightning would explain a few things.)

Rick Perry

Now-where-the-hell-did-I-leave-my-keys-150x150Cuzin Ricky came back for a second shot at the Oval Office. Unfortunately he was out of ammunition, but the invisible man in the sky didn’t care. As the Rickster explained on “The Janet Mefferd Show,“…It has been an incredible outpouring and I can tell you that has given me the calmness in my soul that, you know, God sends messages through a lot of ways and through a lot of messengers.”

(I guess the second time around, his messages came “second hand.”)

Rick Santorum

Righteous-Rick-150x150Also returning for another tilt at the windmill, albeit for a very short ride, was Saint Orum. (Old Righteous Rick, himself.) As Mrs Rick told CBN News, “it really boils down to God’s will. What is it that God wants? … We have prayed a lot about this decision, and we believe with all our hearts that this is what God wants.”

(Or, maybe “God” just wanted another good guffaw.)

Scott Walker

And last, as well as pretty much least, we have Scotty who already had the blessing of a “higher power” (the Koch Bros).

S.W.Like the others, Scotty claimed that his candidacy was “God’s plan!” In his first “give me money” letter, he stated “My relationship with God drives every major decision in my life. Each day I pray and then take time to read from the Bible and from a devotional named Jesus Calling. As you can imagine, the months leading up to my announcement that I would run for President of the United States were filled with a lot of prayer and soul searching. Here’s why: I needed to be certain that running was God’s calling — not just man’s calling. I am certain: This is God’s plan for me and I am humbled to be a candidate for President of the United States.”

(Evidently, “God” didn’t plan very well.)

So there you have it: Two presidential cycles, multiple candidates endorsed by the “high guy” and every one a loser! It just might be that “God” is a practical joker. The question is, who’s the butt of the joke?13076602_10153911520891195_6351405000417854868_n

 

 

Kirk Cameron: Submissive Wives = Successful Marriages

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore

Ex-teen hunk turned troglodyte, Kirk Cameron has the perfect formula for a successful marriage (if you’re a bronze age, or earlier, desert dweller). He bases it on the holey wisdom of “THE BOOK!”

You know, the one with the oral bush and talking snake, re-animated zombies, unfrozen water walking, an unscrewed virgin having a baby, fiery flying serpents and a six mile deep world-wide flood that no civilization noticed at the time.

Yeah, that one!

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.Colossians 3:18

For fun and profit….I mean, to spread “the word,” Kirk has embarked on a “Love Worth Fighting For” national marriage tour to explain to the suck..faithful, how to make your marriage work after you drag her, by her hair, into the cave. In order to hype the tour, Kirk graciously granted an interview to the “Christian Post.”
According to the actor, once known as Mike Seaver,(With apologies to Prince.)
A lot of people don’t know that marriage comes with instructions. And, we find them right there in God’s word…Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband. When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage.
So, wenches, when your hubby blows the rent on a crap game, crawls home 3 1/2 sheets to the wind and threatens to “give you what you’re asking for” when you’re too tired to dance the horizontal mambo with him, just submit and remember, you’re saving the sanctity of your successful marriage.
Oh, and never get into an argument with hubby!
Thinking that you are going to win an argument, you end up losing. It’s a no-win situation. In order for you to win, your husband or wife has to lose. When they lose, you have not built up your marriage. You have really cut them down.
And, if your marriage collapses, it’s your fault.
What most people do is they try to blame their spouse and say, ‘Hey, I would be a great husband if it weren’t for my wife.’ ‘We would have a great marriage if it wasn’t for my husband. This talks to the importance of getting your own part right. There is only one person on the whole planet who you can change and it’s not your spouse.
So, if your love boat is steaming straight toward the matrimonial shoals because the 1st mate is being uppity, there’s still hope. Catch Cameron’s tour and he’ll show you how to be guided by the lighthouse of love.
We talk about faith in God. We talk about the heart of the problem in marriage. We talk about what it means to love your wife in a practical way and what it means to honor your husband. It is possible to fireproof your marriage. Fireproof doesn’t mean that the fire will never come, it means when the fire comes and the heat is high, you will be able to withstand it.
After the talk, but sure to check out the concession area. Salesmen are standing by with special deals on southern Florida wetlands and some famous bridges.

Curt Schilling Throws Foul, Gets Sacked By ESPN

curt-702x336As a pitcher, Curt Schilling was incredible. As a human being? Not so much!

Tuesday, Curt gave the world a glance at his true colors when he shared and commented on a despicable transphobic meme:

A man is a man no matter what they call themselves. I don’t care what they are, who they sleep with, men’s room was designed for the penis, women’s not so much. Now you need laws telling us differently? Pathetic.

 

Photo Credit: FaceBook screen shot

Photo Credit: FaceBook screen shot

After the inevitable blowback, Curt was quick to take offense. He claimed his only sin was to make a comment about the basic functionality of mens and womens restrooms.

All of you out there who are just dying to be offended so you can create some sort of faux cause to rally behind.

I do NOT care what color you are, what race, what sex, who you sleep with, what you wear. I don’t care and I never have. And opinions are like buttholes, everyone has one and they usually stink.

You know how I know you ‘offended’ people are full of crap? Because I’m not even close to any of the things you so desperately want me to be, so you can whine.

This isn’t first unforced error. Back in August of last year, the twit tweeted this little gem:CNRD62vUsAAzIfW

That one got him benched by ESPN. This time around, he got shown the door. ESPN issued the following statement:

ESPN is an inclusive company. Curt Schilling has been advised that his conduct was unacceptable and his employment with ESPN has been terminated.

Don’t bother staying tuned, Curt’s not broadcasting anymore.

Is Children’s Entertainment A Tool Of The Devil?

3001812901_149d357875Once upon a time, in the Cretaceous Period of my youth, life was different.

If you wanted to watch Saturday morning cartoons, you headed to the neighborhood theater to watch 13-15 Donald Duck, Mighty Mouse and Popeye cartoons, coupled with a Roy Rogers oater opera and the next chapter of the Rocket Man serial. And, 3-4 times a year, the Disney studio would release one of their feature length cartoons like “Bambi” or “Lady & the Tramp.”

Little did I realize that my young impressionable mind was being manipulated by “Old Scratch” himself. (No, not Walt. The big-time “Bad Boy” that dwelleth in the Hot Place. Mr. Disney was simply his tool.)

And, what vile, evil deed was the vile, evil deed-doer up to? According to the troglodytes favorite faux historian, David Barton, it was to create the animal rights movement. According to Dingbat Dave, there wasn’t any such thing until Disney came along and anthropomorphized animals. In the process of doing that, Walt turned them into pagan “gods.”

If you look back at the time of the Bible, a lot of the idols back then were actually animals. Dagon was the fish God…The Bible tells us that you are to be kind to your animals, but you don’t worship your animals, you don’t make a Dagon god out of them and that’s what we’ve now done.

And indeed, hunting has been undergoing a decline in popularity. Not sure if that’s Walt’s fault, (and he had a number of them) but I never considered hunting a sport anyway. There’s only two ways in which hunting could be considered a sport.

  1. Weaponless hunting. (i.e. mano-a-bestia) Just you and the bear, and may the best critter win.
  2. When they develop a weapon that an animal can accurately fire back. (In other words, you can bare arms if they can arm bears.) THEN it’s a sport. Until then, non-food hunting is just a substitute for a shriveled dick.

In the 50’s, the one-eyed monster invaded our homes. No more trudging to the local flick house. Now, you could watch Mighty Mouse Playhouse, The Roy Rogers Show and Space Patrol, seated on your comfy couch.

Never one to let an opportunity slip by, Belezebub saw a vehicle (according to Khristian wing-nuts) to inoculate us with pro-gay messages. Of course, he couldn’t come right out and say “Gay is good!” Instead, he turned some of our favorite characters gay.

  • For starters, Khristians were deeply suspicious of “Sesame Street” muppets, Bert & Ernie. (Two males living together? You just knew they were doing the dirty deed.)
  • Then there was Piglet from the Winnie the Pooh series. (Well, he talked sweet and he was PINK!)
  • Remember the Blue Power Ranger? Turns out “Blue” wasn’t gay, but the actor who portrayed him was. (I’ll give the nuts 1/2 point on this one, although I’ve never seen evidence that he played him “gay.”)
  • The “Teletubbys” Tinky Winky was outed by Jerry Falwell, who said his character promoted homosexuality and unconventional gender roles. He did sport a triangle-shaped antenna and he carried a PURSE! (Of course, multitudes of males carry purses. They just call them “briefcases.”)
  • Even “Peanuts” got blasted for its “Peppermint Patty” character. (Since she was a tomboy and sooo good at sports, she had to be “butch.”)
  • There were many other characters,called out for being gay, ranging from Kermit the Frog to Velma (of “Scooby Doo” fame) to Snow White’s seven dwarfs and even He-Man, himself.

I am NOT saying there weren’t or aren’t gay characters in family entertainment. “The Simpsons” Waylon Smithers comes to mind real quick. They even did a 2-part story of him exiting the (very transparent) closet.

And in the “Harry Potter” series, Albus Dumbledore is gay. I have to admit, I’ve read the series several times and I never got a clue until the author, T.K. Rowling, explained that he was. (I must have been playing hooky the day Big Daddy distributed the “Gaydar.”)

And now, for something (almost) completely different:

The wrong-wing’s latest crusade against Muslims also centers around children’s programming. Once again, the culprit is the nefarious “Sesame Street.” It seems they have the effrontery to add a new muppet to the cast. An AFGHAN GIRL MUPPET! (Oh, the humanity!) Well, let me tell you, Bullshit Mtn isn’t about to take this laying down! (As if mountains of bullshit could lay down.)foxnation-sesame-street-zariZari is a six year old that has been added to the Afghanistan version of the show. (An Afghan on an Afghan show? What a concept!) As the producers explained in their press release,

Sesame Workshop unveiled today its first Afghan Muppet, Zari, a curious and eager six year-old girl, who will make her debut in season five of Baghch-e-Simsim—the local co-production of Sesame Street. Zari, whose name means “shimmering,” will be featured in new, locally produced segments that focus on curriculum topics like girls’ empowerment, national identity, physical health, and social and emotional well being.

This dastardly move has invoked Regressive headlines such as Sesame Street Goes Halal, Incorporates Sharia Law & Islam Into New Episodes.

While the character is probably meant to be Muslim, since most Afghan residents are, there are ZERO indications that Islam or Sharia Law will have any part in the portrayal. That hasn’t stopped speculation that she’ll be fitted with a suicide vest and sent out to jihad something. Here’s a quick sampling of comments, courtesy of www.NewsCorpse.com:foxnation-comments-sesame-street-zariSo, there you have it, from anthropomorphized animals turned into pagan gods to outing cartoon characters even when there’s no credible evidence that they’re in, to criticizing an Afghan program, (that won’t play outside of Afghanistan) for having an Afghan muppet as part of the cast, the wrong-wing Khristians are ever vigilant against the imaginary manipulations of Mephistopheles!

Stay tuned!

(h/t NewsCorpse.com)