Rapture Begins Saturday as ‘Planet Nibiru’ Collides with Earth

Are you righteous enough to be “raptured?”

If not, stop by Jim Bakker’s website to pick up your needed survival food and gear. But, you better get your tail a-movin’ because we’re going to collide with another planet, come Saturday [9/23/17].

COST SAVING ALERT!!!:

If the planet playing bumper-cars has a diameter of more than 60 miles, save your money. Anything larger than that and microbes may not survive.

It seems, according to noted numerologist David Mead, there’s a solar planet called “Nibiru” with a 3000 year orbit that’s going to get a bit too friendly on Saturday.

For starters, he’s got the number to prove it: 33!

As Mead explained it to the Washington Post,

Jesus lived for 33 years. The name Elohim, which is the name of God to the Jews, was mentioned 33 times [in the Bible] It’s a very biblically significant, numerologically significant number. I’m talking astronomy. I’m talking the Bible … and merging the two.

And, wouldn’t you know it, this Saturday is 33 days after the solar eclipse. (More on that in a bit.)

Speaking of stuff in the”Good Book,” there’s this gem that’s supposed to occur at the same time.

And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth. – Revelation 12:1-2

In case you missed the “true meaning” of that, the woman is the constellation Virgo, her soon-to-be-born son is Jupitor. In other words, the moon, Jupitor and the constellation Virgo are all lined up like a row of ducks. This is supposed to harold J.C.’s “2nd Coming.”

One teensy-weentsy problem with that. It happens about every 12 years

(Btw, would J.C. be riding in on Nibiru or would he have separate transportation?)

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring. – Luke 21:25

Signs in the sun and in the moon = Solar Eclipse: CHECK (Of course, there are, on average, two to four solar eclipses every year.)

And in the stars = Stars going supernova: CHECK (Stars go supernova in the universe, about every second or so.)

Distress of nations = Rump bragging about starting a nuclear war: CHECK (The earth has been under that threat for 70 years from people almost as nut-cake as he is.)

The sea and the waves roaring = Hurricanes: CHECK (Several hurricanes are spawned every year. Yes, they’re getting worse, but that’s due to climate change, not “the 2nd Coming.”)

Oh, and there’s one other minor problem with this scenario: NIBIRU DOESN’T EXIST!

There may be more undiscovered solar planets out there. Very possibly are! However, a planet heading towards Earth could be seen with the naked eye even if it were still nine months out, let alone a few days.

Check out this WaPo article.

In the meantime, enjoy the video. You might get a chuckle or three.

Stay tuned!

Oh, and have a great “End of Days” party Saturday.

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/T. Pyle (SSC)

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Jim Bakker: The Recent Hurricanes Are A Sign That ‘God’s Judgment Is Coming’

Back in the Bronze Age, disasters and other infrequent acts of nature were “SIGNS FROM GOD!” (Or Gods, depending on which mythology you subscribed to.) Of course, so were sheep’s entrails, goose livers and a host of other esoteric items. But that was 3,000 years ago. This is the 21ST CENTURY! We’re all past believing in that mythological nonsense. Right??

Well. Evidently. Not all of us. Take Jim Bakker. (Insert your own snark here.)

Now, a lot of you remember Jimbo from his fraudy, rapey days at PTL. (PTL was supposed to stand for “Praise The Lord,” but “Pass The Loot” was a better fit.)

But, that was the old Jimbo. During an all too brief vacation at the Iron Bar Inn, he found “God.” (Or, at least a safer scam.) Nowadays, he’s an “End-Times” herald and a survival food salesman. (Falls under: Create a need and fill it.)

Food sales must be down a bit, because Jimbo went on his show today [9/12/17] to pitch gloom and doom like he was the devil himself. (Or, at least a close cousin.)

God’s judgment is coming.

Why am I crying out, ‘Prepare, prepare, prepare’? Because somebody put me in prison.

Yeah, that would have been the Feds, after he was convicted on multiple charges.

The devil meant it for evil but … God meant it for good. So I studied every word [in the Bible], so I know what’s coming. This flood didn’t shock me, I saw this flood. New Orleans is going to be covered with water; I don’t know if it’s this week but it’s going to happen. God says it will never come back at one point, unless it repents.

Maybe I missed that part of the “good book,” but I’ll be darned if I remember a passage mentioning New Orleans.

Do you know when these other huge hurricanes hit? Do you know what days they hit? It hit on the decadent days, the days of the decadence parades and all … The hurricane hit in Florida and they were having that parade and it hit on that day and then when it was to hit in New Orleans, it started there.

I don’t have a clue which “decadence parades” he’s referring to. There are so many to choose from. But, it wasn’t Mardi Gras, and you’d think it would be.

God’s judgment is coming. It’s coming whether we want it or not and it’s not because he hates us, he just wants to wake up America. We have mocked God.

So, am I to assume that Big Daddy is going to give the rest of the world a pass and just take out his anger on us? And, if that is the case, why are only “Red States” being hit? (You’d think he’d give Massachusetts a shot across the bay.)

Now, in fairness to Jimbo, he’s not the only “Khristian” (As opposed to “Christian,” which they ain’t!) troglodyte trotting this trail. The “Religious Wrong” blogosphere is replete with them. After all, “Fear is the best fundraiser!”

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Screen Grab

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

‘Aborted Babies Are The Food Source That Is Empowering Baal’

People have to realize the strongman over America is Baal. Baal is a very violent entity, he is the second in Satan’s triune, he is the second in command, he is the counterfeit Christ. It feeds off the blood of the innocent, which is the aborted babies. This is why Baal is the strongman, because the aborted babies are the food source that is empowering Baal. – Mark Taylor

Mark “The Man Who Saw Tomorrow” Taylor has dug a deeper hole in the excrement that passes for his thought processes.

It seems like just last week (Actually, it was!) I did a post on this loon (with apologies to my favorite bird) claiming the Illuminati and the Freemasons got together to broadcast a frequency [440 hz] that turns normal, everyday people into Trump haters!

Of course, the Illuminati is every filbert’s fave conspiracy cabal, but I was intrigued that the Freemasons joined in. After all, most of the major movers and shakers of the Founding Daddies were Freemasons. They were also deists, which shoots the whole “America is a Christian nation” steer shit in the ass! (Or would, if steer shit had an ass, rather than emanate from one.)

But, that was last week’s rant, let’s delve into this latest pile of emasculated bovine bowel movement.

Baal (17th Century version)

Those of you who have really read “The Good Book.” (Most “Khristians” really haven’t. They just read the parts they cherry-pick to back up their polluted fantasies.) you may recall Baal as a Canaanite god. He was the god of fertility. (Which is kinda the opposite direction from “aborted”.)

It wasn’t until the 17th century goetic occult writings that Baal emerges as one of the seven princes of Hell. (Who says my rants aren’t educational?)

Goety, for those of you who didn’t click the link, is a practice that includes the conjuration of demons. (A handy talent to have, no matter what the century.)

Speaking of demons and sprits from “The Dark Side,” let’s get back to Markie.

If you’re listening to these politicians and they’re telling you, ‘Oh, we’re pro-choice, it’s all about a woman’s right to choose, it’s all about women’s health,’ you’re being duped, you’re being lied to.

They don’t care anything about you. All they want from you, as a woman, is to be a breeder for that food source, for you to abort that baby to feed their god called Baal. They don’t care anything about your right to choose, they don’t care anything about your health, all they want is that baby aborted as a sacrifice because every time you abort a baby, it’s a sacrifice to their god called Baal.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Philip De Vere
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Are Freemasons, Illuminati Using A Special DNA Changing Frequency To Make People Hate Trump?

Think that’s a silly headline? The “Man Who Saw Tomorrow” doesn’t!

Mark Taylor (or, at least his alter-ego, Shakina Kami) claims it’s happening!

So, who in the 8th Circle of Dante’s Inferno, is Mark Taylor? (Or, Shakina Kami, for that matter?)

He useta be a fighter of fires, but I think his oxy tank ran out one too many times. Nowadays, he’s a self-made prophet, having predicted that Trump would win the election. (That’s it, folks! That’s his claim to fame.) He even wrote a book about it: The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story Of The Man Who Saw Tomorrow… And What He Says Is Coming Next.$17.99, $4.95 if WND (aka Weird Nuts Drooling) is having a promotion.

As for Shakina Kami, according to Taylor, it’s a combination of “African” and “Indian” that means “Beautiful One Whose Desires Are Fulfilled, and in Whose Life the Lord Dwells with the Divine Wind of Providence.” (I did some checking and actually, “Shakina” is Somali for “Shakina” and “Kami” is Indonesian for “we.”)

As far as filbert fantasists go, Shakina is minor league. In fact, he’s so minor, that he isn’t even mentioned in Wikipedia, although Right Wing Watch has chronicled some of his more blatant oral bowel movements.

For instance:

Now, Shakina has topped (bottomed?) himself!

He went on Sheila Zilinsky’s “Weekend Vigilante” program to warn us of nefarious deeds!

I believe what happened on November 8 is the enemy has literally sent out a frequency and it agitated and took control, basically, of those who have their DNA that was turned over to the enemy. That’s what’s happening. The Illuminati, the Freemasons, all these people, their main goal is to change the DNA of man and they’re doing it through these frequencies.

He even named the frequency that can “damage your body organs” and “changes your DNA, which is the goal of the Freemasons, the Illuminati; they want you part of that Illuminati bloodline.” (It’s 440 hz, in case you’re curious.)

If you don’t quite hate Trump enough, you might expose yourself to it and see if it helps.

Shakina knows this for a fact because he gets lots of email from troglodytes that keep losing friends “because their DNA is being controlled by the enemy.”

Stay tuned!

 

Alex Jones: Michelle Obama Has A Penis, May Have Murdered Joan Rivers

 

The competition for “Flakiest Filbert in the Nut Hatchery” must be tremendous!

From “Reverend Senile” (aka “Crazy Uncle” Pat Robertson) to the dispicable Teddy Shoebat, these tinfoil toupeed troglodytes keep trying to top (Or, is that “bottom?”) each other.

It seems that every day, they fantasize something new and even more bizzare than the day before. (Usually via a conversation with “Big Daddy!) But, if “Big D” is busy, or if they’re too damn dumb to dream up a new outrage, they’ll recycle an old one!

Speaking of Alex “Wo0 W0o” Jones,

Three years ago (Sept. 8, 2014, to be exact.) I did a post covering the claim that the “nefarious” Michelle Obama was, in reality(?), a cleverly disgusied male. Not only that, but she was in on the Illuminati plot to kill Joan Rivers.

According to the “Conspiracies-R-Us” gang, that African Islamist, Barack Hussein Obama conspired with the very Christian Illuminati to rub out Joan Rivers. The C-R-U doesn’t mention which Illuminati it is, (There’s more than one offshoot of the original Bavarian Illuminati.) but whoever it is, they’ve got this “super-secret” hit list and Joan’s name is (was?) on it.

It seems that Joan “outed” the president. Not only that, but she exposed Mrs Obama as a tranny. She never explained how she found out. Possibly used her “gaydar” on Barack and her “trannydar” on Michelle. I really don’t know. (Or care.)

In the words of that great philosopher, Yogi Berra, “It’s deja vu all over again!”

In his “Infowars” fantasy fest yesterday, [8/25/18] Alex was back at it and this time he brought along video “proof.”

Michelle Obama] looks like she’s either got a rubber snake in her pants or she is — could be a major porn star in Hollywood. Joan Rivers said this and died, and none of the media will even cover that she had dinner with the Obamas. And then she died, but they don’t ever show in the reports that I’m saying Joan Rivers said it.

Since the early days of the Obama administration, citizens across the board have studied videos and photos of Michelle Obama and said that she is a man.

Look, see it for yourself. Here’s the footage. It’s going to go to number one on YouTube.

Michelle is transgender, we all know it…we have famous photos of her where it appears she has a large bulge in her pants.

Maybe it’s a forked tail that’s six inches long. That’s it. Michelle Obama is a devil. I’ve already made that joke about Obama, but maybe it isn’t, maybe it’s a little forked tail. You decide, what is this hanging between her legs jiggling and flopping around? Here it is. She’s adjusting it. I mean I’ve seen men my whole life, myself, adjust their packages.

There you have it! Straight from the horse’s (nether) mouth. Proof positive(?)

However, remember that Alex has previously claimed without evidence, that the Sandy Hook massacre and Boston bombings were hoaxes and that Barack Obama founded Isis. (I don’t call him “Wo0 W0o” for nothing!)

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Sean P. Anderson

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Alex Jones Demands ‘Reparations for White People’ (Video)

Alex “Wo0 W0o” Jones is at it again!

Fresh from a “coffee shower” in Seattle, (More on that in a bit.) “Wo0 W0o” has decided to reverse his long-standing objection to reparations.

Don’t get me wrong, “Wo0 W0o” is still against reparations for “First Nations” and Black folk, but he has found a persecuted majority that he believes deserves some help in that area – White Americans!

There needs to be reparations for white people the last 20, 30 years, getting attacked and killed by the tens of thousands every year…There needs to be real travel advisories. They used to have in the 60s some places like Selma, Alabama, The New York Times would put travel advisories out for black folks.

To back up his story, “Wo0 W0o” cited one of Hair Fuhrer’s bogus tweets. It seems, as usual, Rump got his facts bass-ackwards. He claimed that 81% of the murders of White people were committed by Black people. I did some checking and in the latest stats I could find, [2013] the actual percentage of Black on White murders was 13.61%. White on White murders came to 83.49%. (By “Wo0 W0o’s” reasoning, and using accurate stats, White Americans should avoid predominately White populated areas, for their own safety.) Also, that “tens of thousands every year” was 3005 in 2013!

Meanwhile, back at the rant,

It doesn’t matter that most of the basketball players you see who happen to be black have the same haircut, or David Beckham, or anybody else. It doesn’t matter. You need to find that racism. In the eclipse. In a guy’s short haircut. In whatever it is. You’ve got to find it. It’s got to be there. So that’s why I’ve issued a travel advisory for the United States for white folks going to places like Denver, Detroit. Places like Chicago, places like Seattle, because I’ve been to these towns and I’ve experienced it.

I’m not sure I quite understand the link between hair length and racism. Then again, there are very few things that emanate from “Wo0 Woo’s” oral orifice that I do understand.

As to the cities he listed, in most cases, I’m not sure why those were singled out, other than they are all large cities with sizable minority populations. But so do most other large cities. However, I do have a clue about Seattle.

A few days ago, “Wo0 W0o” was in Seattle, and he didn’t exactly get a warm welcome. Between the “FU” battles, the “Finger Flip-offs” and having a cup of coffee dumped on him, (Talk about a waste of good coffee!) he didn’t have a real fun time.

Alex also touched on the persecution of Southerners over their “heritage” (treason and racial bigotry).

You’ve got all these whites who were never connected to it. And then you’ve got the Democratic Party that is literally pushing this that’s removing their history. And then somehow, that’s all Donald Trump’s fault. In fact, I tweeted that out this morning, that point, that I’ve noticed a lot of other people making. It’s just total hype, hysteria, mental illness.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: DonkeyHotey
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes)

Gohmert: investigate Democrats for staging Charlotte neo-Nazi riot.

“Screwy” Louie Gohmert is back in the news cycle!

After the wide-spread condemnation of the club-swinging, automotive hit-and-run actions of the white supremacists in Charlottesville, Loony Louie (aka “Screwy” Louie, aka “Goober”) claims we’re aiming at the wrong targets.

Going beyond the “bothsiderism” of the Regressive Bullshit Machine and the “Some of the white supremacists were nice people” claim of the “so-called” president, Goober knows the real culprit. And, (surprise, surprise) he’s a Democrat.

No, it wasn’t “Obama done it,” for a change. Although some Regressive “whosit?” From Idaho (Oregon’s embarrassment of a neighbor) thinks so! Besides, Bullshit Mtn’s Ralph Peters claims the “Big O” was busy being responsible for the USS John McCain’s collision.

Sunday, Goober unvailed his crackpot conspiracy on Bullshit Mtn’s “Fox & Friends” (of Rump)

The way forward’s not gonna be easy. And I think the Justice Department needs a full investigation of the governor, of the mayor.

For those non-“Virginia politics nerds” that’s Governor Terry McAuliffe and Charlottesville Mayer Michael Signer. And, wouldn’t you know it? They’re both Dems.

Methinks deviltry is afoot! (Or at least seven or eight inches.)

Back to the filbert’s fantasy:

Screwy Louie thinks this is just the tippy-top of the pair’s nefarious deeds. According to him, they were behind all the violence at poor Don-Don’s rallies!

We have got to have this investigated. They were the violence (sic) at Trump events, and they may have been behind this violence getting started. They facilitated it, anyway.

Then on Monday, Goober hopped over to “Fox Business,” another neighborhood on Bullshit Mtn, to claim this is all a racist ploy by the Dems.

This has been stirred up. This is being driven by forces of evil that are so far beyond what normal people can think about.

There is a strategy to make race the number one issue in 2018 and 2020. They think it’s their ticket back this is going to blow up in their face,

Right now you’re probably asking yourself one of two questions.

  1. Did loony Louie run out of tinfoil? Or,
  2. Where the hell did he come up with this

Well, it turns out that Louie knows a guy who knows a guy that saw KKK and BLM members get off the same Greyhounds in Charlottesville. It’s obvious that they couldn’t have gotten on the buses at different stops! HELL NO! This is shear (VERY shear) proof of collusion.

We need an investigation as to what happened in Charlottesville! Who paid for the different groups to come in? Who ordered the funneling of those groups together? Who ordered to stand by while the violence goes on?

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: DonkeyHotey
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Pat Robertson: Agents Searching Manafort’s Home Is ‘Outrageous’

Giving credence to the old saw, “There’s no fool like an old fool,” crazy uncle Pat strikes again!

Unless you’ve been skiing on Hoth (Watch out for the wampas!), you’ve heard about the search of the Paul Manafort manse by federal agents. Pat Robertson has and he’s NOT a happy camper. (More like a crappy hamper.)

As he put it,

Federal agents armed with a warrant broke into his home. What in the world is going on?

Now, the story of Manafort’s problems with the feds (Possible Russian collusion and money laundering, to name just a couple.) has been all over the news for months. However, in Pat’s defense, short term memory loss is one symptom of dementia.

Pat’s co-host,Terry Meeuwsen, had a thought(?),

Do you feel like when a special counsel is appointed like that and actions like that are taken, it’s almost as though something has to be found.

Pat totally agreed. As he put it, “Exactly!”

Pat seems to think it’s a “fishing expedition.” (But Rump claims it’s a “witch hunt.” Which is it? Hunting or fishing?)

Now he’s [Mueller] empowering grand juries and having search warrants of distinguished Republican’s homes, this is outrageous!

No Pat, it’s how the process works when there’s sufficient evidence that possible crimes have been committed. Oh, and utilizing a search warrent is NOT “breaking in.”

Pat’s also pretty pissed that Hair Fuhrer is out-armed in the legal battle against that nasty old Special Prosecuter. Mean Mr Mueller has a full team of experienced experts and poor little Don-Don only has two or three blowhards. (My description, not Pat’s.)

It’s like going to a knife fight armed with a stick of butter.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

h/t: Crooks & Liars

Featured Image Credit: Daniel Oines

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

Dave Daubenmire: Paying Government Taxes Is A Sin

And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s. And they marvelled at him.Mark 12:17 KJV

“Coach” Dave Daubenmire (I’d call him “Dooby,” but I have a fondness for “doobies.”) has decided that J.C. was wrong!

Like most “Khristians,” (As opposed to “Christians,” which they ain’t!) the “Coach” likes to cherry-pick passages that celebrate his fantasies. Bible passages that don’t, much like facts that don’t, are gleefully ignored.

For instance, according to Dave, the moon landing was fake!

For those of you lucky enough to have never heard of this troglodyte, your streak is about to end.

I’ll make the intro brief, because I’m out of Emetrol. However, if you’ve got some handy, you can check out his bio in the “Encylopedia of American Loons.”

“Coach” used to be a high school coach before he got kicked out for coercing his players to pray. Nowadays, he’s “coaching God’s team” with his very own ministry: “Pass the Salt(and some Benjamins, while you’re at it).

He’s a bit anti-LGBT, to the extent that he claims “we’re at war” with the demonic LGBTQ agenda!

Don’t you know it’s a war? Don’t you know they want your children? Don’t you know they’re occupying your pulpits? Don’t you understand that those same people singing ‘Jesus loves you this I know’ want to kill us?

He thinks “Main-Line” Christians are a bunch of pussies and America needs “a more violent Christianity!” Which brings us to another thing J.C. supposedly said, and Coach ignores:

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right. cheek, turn to him the other also.Matthew 5:39 KJV

He’s rabidly anti-Semitic! He thinks ‘Murica was supposed to be a Christian country, and thinks the “Good Book” (At least, the “OT” part) outranks the Constitution. He knows “PizzaGate” is the real deal! And, (This is my fave!) he believes that we are about to be invaded by alien “Cloudeaters” from another dimension!”

They are setting us up for the appearance of these, I believe, extra-dimensional beings that are going to come as our rescuers, the ones who are going to rescue the world and the very elect themselves, if it was possible, will be deceived…The MK Ultras, the satanically ritually abused children. All that kind of stuff, it is right before our face

Ok! Now you know what brand of filbert we’re dealing with, back to today’s subject – Caesar’s renderings!

Caesar (aka: the U. S. of A.), much like every other government since “The Big Bang,” requires that its citizens render unto it, a share of their shekels.

There are some exceptions to that. For instance, if a citizen claims to be a minister, with a ministry like “Pass the Salt,” they are are generally exempt from income tax and receive other favorable treatment under the tax law. That’s a great thing for Coach. Otherwise, he’d be living in sin! (Or in a federal “Rock Hockey Resort!”)

I’ll let him explain his case: (Since I’m not buying a damn bit of it!)

Better ask the Lord, ‘Do you want us to give our money to kill babies? Is that what you want us to do, Lord? Advance homosexuality and perversion in our schools? Lord, do you want me to take some of that hard-earned money that you blessed me with and you want me to give it to continue that process?

I’ll say this without question! The paying of government taxes, I believe, is sin. I’m sorry, I believe it’s sin. And so my struggle is with that premeditated sin every day because I know, for me to give one penny to Planned Parenthood is a sin. If I know what they’re doing with it, it’s a sin. For me to have to pay my property taxes—get your local property tax bill and look at how much of your local property tax goes to fund your schools and ask yourself, ‘Why am I funding that filth?’

Like most of his fellow filberts, he sees no sense in supporting edjamicashun! I think getting fired from his high school job, kinda soured him. (And, just for the record, “Advanced Homosexuality and Perversion” was my favorite class in 3rd grade!)

Planned Parenthood? Coach is using “dog wistle politics!” To troglodytes, “Planned Parenthood” is code for ABORTION!

Thing is, by law, tax dollars in support of PP can NOT be used to fund abortions. (Coach is either too dumb to know that, or he thinks his “flock” is!)

Coach wrapped up his ridiculousness by claiming that every “Christian” would have to explain to Big Daddy, why they supported our wicked government with their taxes.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: screen grab

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Wingnut Binds Anti-Trump Demons And Saves ‘Murica!

Rick Wiles has had a wild week.

It was just a couple of days ago [7/2/17] that I covered his brain(?)storm of an idea that Trump (aka “Hair Fuhrer,” aka “Rump.”) should grant Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio a pardon for his conviction for Criminal Contempt and hire him to run the Department of Homeland Security. (Just what ‘Murica needs, one of the biggest racial bigots behind a badge since Bull Conner, in charge of Immigration.)

And then, as a public dooty, (Not a misspelling!) the Rickster alerted the nation of the vile “Deep State Goon Squad” that’s been going around, beating up poor politicians.

As evidence, he cited John McCain’s stitches above his eye, George Bush Sr. choking on a pretzel, (Little) Dick Cheney’s busted lip, Harry Reid’s eye injury and Colin Powell’s broken arm. (Or was it a broken leg?)

What I do recall, through the years, is how many national politicians have had injuries that, to me, were suspicious. Maybe all of these are coincidences, or maybe they’re not. Maybe there is a shadow government that roughs up the politicians when they don’t do all the dirty, evil things that they want done.

Among other “Deep State” dirty deeds: they sent the Capitol Police Containment and Emergency Response Team to the wrong location during the attack on a GOP congressional baseball practice.

Wiles claimed this was intentionally done to “give the gunman more time” to kill as many Congressmen as possible.

Then Ricky went and saved ‘Murica. (Whatta guy!)

It was laborious endeavor, but somebody had to do it! (It took him a whole five minutes!)

Being a “Khristian” (as opposed to “Christian”) prophet…profit, he knew exactly what to do. Simply bind the demonic spirits that are bent on destroying Hair Fuhrer and starting a civil war.

I’ll let the Rickster explain. (As only he, Alex Jones, Jim Bakker and a few others can.)

These are demonic spirits attempting to start a civil war in this country. If they think that they are going to succeed in removing the president of the United States and this country is not going to erupt into a civil war, these people are totally deluded and full of pompous pride. They will destroy the country and they cannot be allowed to do it.

They are acting under the spirit of Lucifer and therefore we, the church, have authority … [to] bind these devils and let’s loose angels to protect the president.

We bind every demonic, evil, wicked, satanic spiri. We bind all of those demonic spirits that are operating in the White House, in the Congress, in the intelligence agencies, in the Pentagon, anywhere in this nation to destabilize the president of the United States and to cause our government to collapse. We bind those evil spirits and we render them paralyzed.

Now, why didn’t I think of that?…(Oh yeah, because “demonic spirits” are fig newtons of an addlepated mind.)

But WAIT! There’s more. Our Rickster’s not just a “3-trick jackass!” (He’s at least a “4.”)

Not content with saving the nation, (or at least his version of it) Ricky decided to tackle a really BIGLY YUUGE problem: cleaning up the mess that masquerades as the “White House.” But not to worry, he knows exactly what to do. He’s gonna “PRAY IT AWAY!”

At this point, a bit of context is in odor…er order.

You see the WH disfunction isn’t caused by leaks or tweets or incompetence. Nosiree! It’s because there’s fighting between factions. For instance, there’s “The Good Guys.” That would be Bannon and Flynn and their buds. And, on the other side, you’ve got “The Bad Guys.” You know, pointy-headed intelligence people, diplomats, Democrat moles, and most especially, National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

It seems that McMaster has a nasty habit of firing some “Good Guys” for super-silly reasons like bias, bigotry or downright incompetence.

Well, Ricky’s had it!

I’m fed up with putting up with this stuff. From now on we go on the offensive in the spirit and we become warriors against this evil force and we call upon the name of the God of this universe and we ask Him to come and fight for us and defeat these wicked people.

Not only that, but the “Holy Spirit” (aka “Sacred Spook”) told him personally that McMaster had to go because he’s an evil globalist. trying to destroy our gearless leader.

Father, we ask that you remove Gen. McMaster from the White House as director of national security. Let this be done quickly as a show of your force, as a show of your intervention in the affairs of this country

Personal note to the Rickster: You might want to change your supplier for your tinfoil toupees, your current ones seem to leak a lot.

He’s done,” Wiles said. “I believe that with all my heart and mind.”

Stay tuned!

Grouchy
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).