A Bit About Me (As if you really, really give a shit.)

I’M OOOOLD!

I’m old enough to remember outhouses before they were portable.

I’m old enough to remember when phones came in every color imaginable (after all, black is the combination of all colors) and could be used anywhere (if the cord was long enough).

I’m old enough to remember flying being fun and stewardesses being young and sexy. (Probably a bit of a correlation in there somewhere.)

I’m old enough to remember Ronald Reagan & Tip O’Neil battling each other all day, then getting together for brewskis in the evening.

I’m old enough to remember when Kennedy wasn’t nearly as good as the legend, and Johnson wasn’t nearly as bad.

I’m old enough to remember tea baggers before they were tea baggers. I remember the Reform Party (1996) and the American Independent Party (1968). Hell, I even remember the States Rights Democrats aka Dixiecrats (1948). However, contrary to what my kids may think, I am not quite old enough to remember (let alone be a charter member of)  the Know Nothing Movement aka American Republican Party (1845-60).american-patriot

I’m old enough to remember when “legal” meant lawful: now it means some kind of loophole.

I’m old enough to remember when America mostly stood for what it’s supposed to stand for. (Especially if you didn’t factor in civil rights.)

We didn’t do “preemptive wars” (let alone, phony ones). And torture (including waterboarding) would get you sent to the Federal Playpen to play “rock hockey” for a decade or so.

Don’t get the idea that I don’t love my country. I do! I just don’t care much for most of the politicians (read that “leaches”) and other assorted horses patoots that run it most of the time.

Socially, I’m an “Aggressive Progressive” and a democrat (not to be confused with “Democrat” aka “Gutless Blunder”).

Economically, I’m actually a bit of a conservative (in the original sense of the word). Yes, government needs to collect and spend money, however at times they do a piss poor job of both.

I don’t think liberalism has all the answers, but what passes for conservatism these days (Robert Taft and Barry Goldwater would disown it. William F. Buckley did!) hasn’t seemed to have had any answers in the last 18 years.

Even Saint Ronnie wouldn’t be able to hack some of these clowns (and he was a John Birch Society fan). But that evens out, because they wouldn’t really like him as President now either. (He not only raised the debt limit 18 times, but he also (gasp) raised taxes 11 times.)

I am not a subscriber to any of the “Current Prevailing Mythologies”, although I think Zoroastrianism is a hoot! (Jews and Early Christians must have thought so as well, since they adopted so much of it.)

I am not an Agnostic. Agnostics are really just “Chicken Atheists”.

I’m a “real, live, full-blown, fire-breathing Atheist” complete with horns and a tail.fire_breathing_dragon_by_therisingsoul-d5pwp2s

OK, I exaggerated a little on that last bit. I am real and I am alive (at least the last time I checked). I am full (especially around dinnertime), but I haven’t been blown in ages. Also, my breath may be a mite odoriferous, but it isn’t really incendiary. (The breath from my nether “mouth” is another matter altogether.) And, the closest I get to “horns and a tail” is being horny for some tail. (Boy, am I gonna hear from the “Fems” on that one.)

As one of Red Skelton’s characters used to say: “I calls ’em likes I sees ’em.”

I am a graduate of the George Carlin School of Anti-euphuisms as well as holding advanced degrees from the College of Political Incorrectness. I call a spade a spade! (Back off “brothers”! That wasn’t a racial slur. If you thought it was, then you need to clean up your own act!)

Every opinion I write in these posts is my own personal opinion, of which I have every right to express. And while I have a right to my own personal opinion, what I do not have a right to (and neither does anyone else) are my own personal facts. So, if I state a fact in my posts, you better damn well know that I can back it up, usually right there with a link to the source.

Of course, there are some things I’m going to say that are really there just to get you to think. Which ones? I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just have to think about them as you come to them.

And, as you will quickly notice, I give stupidity the respects it deserves: NOT A DAMN BIT!

To misquote a line I read once: “People who don’t want their ideas laughed at, shouldn’t have such funny ideas”.

In the interest of disclosure, I should also tell you that from time to time, I will exercise a little “poetic license”. So, just because I call someone a S.O.B., it really doesn’t mean I actually think his mother was a pooch.

I welcome all constructive comments and feedback whether they agree or disagree. Serious discussion will be treated seriously. (i.e. no quacks = no cracks) Someone who can intelligently discuss controversial subjects without getting personal or feel they are being attacked is absolute gold! However, if you come off as stupid (i.e. quoting Faux Noise or the “wingnut radio jerkoffs”) and/or a “potty mouth” then you will be treated as such. Being a “potty mouth” is the exclusive right of yours truly. (Hey, it’s my blog ;-P)

So, sit back, relax, read a post or two (or 3 or 4 or …). I hope you enjoy (and maybe kick-start a brain cell or two.) But, if you don’t? Well, I live by the words of the immortal philosopher, Ricky Nelson: “Ya know ya can’t please everyone, so ya got ta, ya got ta please yourself”.

Grouchy

 

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