Fruitcake: One Third Of The Government Is Involved In A Satanic Pedophile Ring

A “satanic pedophile ring?” And a third of the government is involved?

That’s either the hottest news story in decades, someone is seriously off their meds again, or maybe they’re just fishing for money and using bullshit for bait! (My money is on Door #3!)

There’s big Benjamins to be earned on the “I Hate Hillary and/or Obama” Circuit. (Not to mention, book sales to the “It’s hard reading words with over four letters” crowd.)

Right now, you’re probably asking yourself, “Where do they find these imbeciles?

Meet Liz Crokin!

Lizzy is a minor leaguer trying to break into the “bigs” by outlandishing the competition. She’s been a volunteer or intern for “Great ‘Muricans,” like George “Duh” Bush (aka: “Bush League”) and Billo (“the Clown”) O’Reilly. She now writes for WorldNetDaily (aka: “WeirdNutsDrooling”).

Lizzy got a bit of attention back in May when she claimed that it wasn’t up to conspiracy theorists to prove anything. It was up to the anti-conspiracy theorists to prove them wrong!

If you want to debunk a story, a conspiracy theory, you have to prove evidence that X, Y, and Z isn’t true and no one does that! This isn’t the conspiracy theory defense. I’m sorry, it’s not going to fly anymore.

Sounds logical. (If your height in inches is a larger number than your IQ.)

Nowadays she’s into that whole “PizzaGate” thingy. You know, the one where the Big Bad Democrats had this hole….excuse me, whole child-sex thing going on in places that were masquerading as restaurants, pizza joints and bookstores. Oh yeah, and Hillary headed it!

Some people believed all this bullshit. (According to one poll, taken at the time, 9% of Americans really are that stupid!) Included in that exclusive group is ex-National Security Advisor, Mike Flynn (of Russian collusion fame).

In fact, one guy, whose nose hairs outnumbered his IQ, walked into Comet Ping Pong (Sex Slave Central?) with his loaded AR-15 type rifle to do a bit of “self-investigating.” While there, he “self-investigated” three bullets into a wall. (If he was aiming at people, he shoots like he thinks. If he was aiming at the wall, at least he managed to hit it.) He later stated that he “found no evidence that underage children were being harbored in the restaurant.”

As an award for his adventure, he got a 4 year vacation at the Iron Bar Inn. Plus, he had to pay for damages to Comet Ping Pong. That bill came to $5744.33 ($1914.78 per bullet hole).

But, back to our gal, Lizzy.

Though a “Lizzy-come-lately” to the PizzaGate fun and games, she brought out some heavy artillery! (Does that qualify as a mixed metaphor? Sometimes I like to mix and match them.)

In the early part of July, she exploded a bombshell! (…….Ok, so it was more like a fire cracker.) It seems (to Lizzy) that not only were these perverted, child-sex-lovers doing unmentionable things to poor sweet innocents, they were also a bunch of murderous thugs!

On “The Hagmann and Hagmann Report,” she claimed that they had put a hit on Rep. Steve Scalise.

Scalise, I truly believe, was specifically targeted in the Alexandria shooting, I believe it was a hit because of his work with sex trafficking!

If you start taking the microscope under these people that are speaking out the loudest against [Jeff] Sessions, Scalise and [President] Trump, you will find many, many ties to pedophilia.

Is it a coincidence that he was just starting to push for legislation to end human trafficking? I don’t think so. And we damn well know the Podesta emails, that those emails are filled with pedophile code words. Connect the dots.

Oh, and her proof? (I’m so glad you asked!) The Democrats sent pizzas to Scalise’s staff, just to rub it in!

And, as they say in old infomercials, “But wait! There’s more!

More specifically, more utter MORONity!

You may (I hope!) remember back a few paragraphs when I mentioned that this salacious, sex syndicate was populated by Hillary and her Democratic Elite Henchpersons. (That kinda sounds like a really bad lesbian grunge band.)

Well, (alternate) truth be told, it’s much bigger than that. In fact, you might even call it YUGE! (You might! I never would!)

Just last week, Lizzy went on Dave Hodges’ “The Common Sense Show,” to share her latest tinfoil hairnet slippage. That nasty, vile, and may I say,  very naughty, Democrat O&O (Owned and Operated) pedophile syndicate has GONE GLOBAL! (A true American success story!)

The leadership now consists of big wigs of various governments, corporate captains and kinky celebs.

Not only that, but “one-third of the government” is part of this. However, don’t get your “Sponge Bobs” all bunched up. There’s a reason for that: It comes with their membership in the satanic Illuminati cult that runs the operation. (I hear the numbers in the Child Protection Departments are exceptionally high.)

And, they not only play “Fun-between-the-Buns” with their little “lovers,” the also kill and eat them. (I think the ritual is called “The Sexy Praying Mantis,” but I could be wrong.) They also drink their blood.

The raping of children and the drinking of blood, this is a ritual they do, this is their religion, this is how they believe they obtain power. That is very hard for people to believe, but we did learn from the Podesta emails, that is exactly what is going on.

She neglected to comment on which were the most savory parts (I’m a “breast guy” myself. Or maybe a baby rib eye.) or even how to cook them. (Maybe they like ’em tartare.) However, that does explain the resturants and pizza joints.

That’s very hard for the public to process, so President Trump and his people understand that they can’t just come out one day and be like, ‘Oh hey, one third of the government is raping children and sacrificing them and drinking their blood and they’re satanists.’ You just can’t drop that bomb on people; people can’t process that information like that, they need it in doses, they need to be conditioned. So what we have going on behind the scenes is that … the Trump administration is slowly trying to condition the public and try to prepare them for what’s about to go down.

Whew! For a minute there, I was soooo worried. I didn’t know Duh Fuhrer was on the case!

He’ll get to the bottom of these sex-crazed killers and drinkers of baby blood. And, you know dang well he’ll bring his yuge twitter paddle with him when he gets there. It’s VERY bigly! It takes two hands to operate. (Well, two Trump hands, anyway.)

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

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