Right-Wing Preacher Proclaims Trump Is ‘God’s New Samson’ (AUDIO)

Sansone_distrugge_il_tempio_dei_Filistei_-_GrechettoIn the latest news from the Theocracy of Tinfoil Turbans comes word that Donald Trump, aka “Herr Rump,” aka “Duh Fuhrer,” may indeed be the second coming of Samson.

No, not the circus strongman, this one’s the real deal. The one from the “good book,” Judges 13-15.

Now, the last word I heard was that Herr Rump was the 2nd coming of John the Baptist, or maybe even J.C., himself! At least that’s what ex Assembly of God bible thumper, Tom Horn, told Jim Bakker last month.

Maybe Horn was wrong or maybe Duh Fuhrer has a case of multiple personality disorder, amidst his many other mental maladies.

Anyway, Rick Wyles thinks he’s Samson. No word on who Rick thinks Delilah is this time around.

For those of you who have not had the displeasure of knowing Rick, he’s another troglodyte “Khristian,” as opposed to “Christian.” He’s also the host of the “end times” and survivalist themed radio program, “Trunews.” Despite its name, Trunews is not news and is definitely not true.

I’ve written about Rick a couple times in the past. In May of 2015, Rick predicted death and destruction if SCOTUS legalized gay marriage.

Claiming the Holy Ghost was speaking through him, he said there was fire in the future. The Sacred Spook wasn’t sure if it was rioting, war or a fireball from space, but it was something.

America will be brought to its knees, there will be pain and suffering at a level we’ve never seen in this country. The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.

Herr Rump was elected, so maybe he was right on that one.

Then last February, after Justice Scalia bit the big one, Rick claimed he was the victim of a pagan sacrifice.

He broke the news to the world that Obama murdered Scalia as part of Lupercalia. Lupercalia, for those of you not hip to pagan holidays is supposed to avert evil spirits, releasing health and fertility. More than that, this ritual sacrifice also marked the beginning of the country being ruled by our pagan fascist overlords.

Hmm, once again, was he predicting Duh Fuhrer?

This Wednesday (1/25/17) Rick was as happy as a tick gorging on an elephant’s butt.

Friends, listen to me,” he said. “God’s favor is on us. Please, please, please comprehend what is happening. It’s more than a political revolution. This is a spiritual revolution. God’s favor is shining on us. I can’t get out of my mind what Mario Murillo said Monday, ‘Grace is oozing out of Heaven.’ It’s just oozing towards us right now. I’m basking in it. I’m rolling around in it. I’m enjoying it

He went on to explain the cause of his euphoria,

I keep getting this picture that Donald Trump is like this Samson, who has been raised up by God to fight the Philistines and all the Philistines have now turned their attention away from the church, turned their attention away from attacking Christianity, and all of the Philistines are running to Washington to attack Samson. But Samson is strong enough for them. He’s been called. He’s been equipped for this battle. That is his job. That is his assignment. He’s going to beat them down. They will not be able to overtake him. He’s Samson. He was designed by God. He was created for this hour to fight these Philistines.

By “Philistines,” I’m not sure if he was talking about the Women’s March on Washington, the fact-checking press, the LGBT community, some descendants of the original Philistines, or just the majority of Americans in general. He  was a bit vague on the matter.

But, in his “Us Against Them War,” the “Philistines,” whoever they are, are the enemy!

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