However, it turns out there’s a war on Halloween as well. Only this time it’s the “Christians” that are leading the charge.
Well, one of them anyway.
Kirk Cameron has decided to take back Halloween from the pagans who stole it from the Christians. (Except, they didn’t!)
You may be trying to forget Kirk from such cinematic car crashes as “Starflight One, The Plane That Couldn’t Land“, “Goliath Awaits“, “The Miracle of the Cards” or the (pre-Nick Cage) “Left Behind” series. The older among you might recall him from his short-termed fame as the resident “It” boy on “Growing Pains“.
Nowadays, he’s a troglodyte bible thumper as well as a direct-to-video and “C” movie actor. He’s also (unintentionally) funnier than a rubber crutch in a three-legged platypus race.
For instance, here’s his argument against evolution:
There you have it folks, if evolution is real, where’s the crocoduck? Here’s another “golden oldie” that some creationists like to ask: “If we are descended from apes, why are there still apes around?” For more of this silliness, check out my “The Theory of Evil-ution vs The Myth-ology of Creationism” posts. (Shameless plug # 970348)
Of course, being a member in good standing of the “religious wrong”, Kirk hates the “gay act”. But, being a “good Christian”, he loves gays, just not what they do.
“I think that it’s…unnatural. It’s detrimental and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”
And, as you can probably tell from his “Left Behind” movies, he’s a rapture fanboy. Personally, if it’s the “religious wrong” that’s going to be raptured, I think I’d prefer to be left behind.
However, what brings us here today is Kirk’s latest lunacy: “The War on Halloween”.
Despite Kirk’s delusions, pagans (Celts in this particular situation) did not steal Halloween from the Christians. Oct 31st was the day of the Celtic Samhain Festival. Samhain had been celebrated for centuries before the Jesus freaks showed up.
The Roman church has long history of usurping local events and mythological critters and incorporating them as “Christian”. They did this with Saturnalia. (Roman) You know it as Christmas. Oh, and the mistletoe (Druid), yule log (6th century Germanic Paganism) and holly (Roman Saturnalia Festival) are also imports. Also, it’s amazing how many local mythological critters morphed into Catholic saints and demons.
Kirk, not surprisingly, gets it back assward:
“In the 9th century, the Roman Catholic Church shifted the date of All Saints’ Day to 1 November, while 2 November later became All Souls’ Day. Over time, Samhain and All Saints’/All Souls’ merged and helped to create the modern Halloween.”
On the costume aspect of Halloween, Kirk has some thoughts:
“When you go out on Halloween and see all people dressed in costumes and see someone in a great big bobble-head Obama costume with great big ears and an Obama face, are they honoring him or poking fun? They are poking fun at him. … Early on, Christians would dress up in costumes as the devil, ghosts, goblins and witches precisely to make the point that those things were defeated and overthrown by the resurrected Jesus Christ. The costumes poke fun at the fact that the devil and other evils were publicly humiliated by Christ at His resurrection.”
So, I guess he believes that Obama is one of the devils or other evils that J.C. humiliated.
And then there are the “trick-or-treaters”:
“You can give them Gospel tracts and tell the story of how every ghost, goblin, witch and demon was trounced the day Jesus rose from the grave,”
I’m sure that will thrill the neighborhood six-year olds.
But, don’t worry, you can still party hardy.
“You should have the biggest party on your block, and you should have the reason for everyone to come to your house and before anyone else’s house because yours is the most fun. Halloween gives you a great opportunity to show how Christians celebrate the day that death was defeated.”
Well, I have to admit. It does sound like one scary party.