I notice that Mike Huckabee (I call him “the Holy Huckster”.) is inserting himself into the news lately. That’s to be expected, I guess. It’s the late early/early middle phase of “Campaign 2016″ and he’s this cycle’s “St. Orum“. (Rick Santorum, for those of you new to my scribblings .) That’s only fair, since St. Orum was last cycle’s “Holy Huckster”.
I better throw in a bit of background for those of you who weren’t paying a lot of attention to the Republican clown show back in ’08.
Mike had been a one-term governor of Arkansas and probably figured if Bill Clinton could make the leap from AR to DC, so could he.
All in all, he won primaries and caucuses in 8 states, all southern except Kansas & Iowa. He came in 2nd in 15 states and 3rd in 14. However, when it became clear that Texas was not going his way (and he couldn’t win without it) he dropped out. After that, he did what failed wingnut candidates do, he went to work for Bullshit Mtn. (aka Faux Noise).
He sat out the last election cycle, but as I said, St. Orum was there to fill the hole. Anyway, the Huckster was making a bunch of bucks at BS Mtn plus he had a Cumulus Media program billed as a kinder, gentler Rush (Has anyone seen my pills?) Limbaugh.
This time around, it seems like that old presidential itchy, twitchy feeling is back. (I think they’ve invented a powder to ease that. If not, they should!)
The good news (for the Huckster) is that he’s the most liked of the potential Repugnut aspirants. (Another advantage of sitting out the last cycle.) The bad news (for the Huckster) is Hillary beats his butt seven ways from Sunday.
RealClearPolitics, a polling organization that tilts a bit to the starboard (That’s ‘right’, for all you land lubbers.) currently calls it 50.3 – 40.7, advantage Team Clinton. The Huckster does manage to triumph over the Clinton machine in Kansas (47-41) and Louisiana (50-43) Surprise! Surprise! What’s also surprising is that Hillary beats him in such states as North Carolina (48-45) and Georgia (48-45).
Now, it’s early. We’re still around 15 months before Iowa, and a lot of people don’t know who the hell he is, have forgotten who the hell he is or don’t give a damn who the hell he is. Never fear, I’m here to help the first two groups. (The 3rd group is helpless.)
For your convenience and amusement, I’ve created a list of SOME of his brain farts over the last few years:
- January, 2008: In a primary campaign stop, he said: “I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God. And that’s what we need to do – to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.” (Can you say “the-oc-ra-cy”? You know, like in Iran and ISIS.)
- February 2011: The Huckster joined the mental midgets of “Fox and Friends” to chastise Christian churches for allowing Muslims to use their facilities.
- December 2012: Shortly after Sandy Hook, he figured out the real reason for school killing sprees. “We ask why there is violence in our schools, but we have systematically removed God from our schools.” He conveniently forgets that the even more secular schools in Europe have far fewer shootings. (59 American shootings to 10 European, Feb, 1996 – June, 2014)
- January 2014: Speaking at a Republican National Committee meeting, referring to a federal contraceptive mandate the Huckster said that Democrats want women to think “they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government.” In 2005, when he was governor, he signed a law mandating Arkansas Insurance plans provide coverage for contraception that included church-affiliated organizations.
- September 2014: He offered up another slate of hate when he said that voters should ferret out any atheists in office and kick them out. Need I mention that this would be illegal as hell! (Which, if there was one, would be his afterlife destination.)
- October 2014: His latest (so far) mouth droppings came during his Bullshit Mtn. show after the Supreme Court figured out which way the tide was going and decided not to hear appeals over upturned anti gay marriage legislation. Surprisingly, he took his wrath out on his own party. “I’m utterly disgusted with fellow Republicans who want to walk away from the issue of judicial supremacy just because it’s not politically viable. Here’s my advice: grow a spine. Show a modicum of knowledge about the way we govern ourselves, and lead, follow, or get the heck out of the way.”
Right now, the Holy Huckster is soooo pissed off, that he may not run for the Republican nomination and save the country. In fact, if the GOP doesn’t grow a pair, he may leave the party and take his troglodytes with him.
“I’m gone! I’ll become an independent. I’ll start finding people that have guts to stand. I’m tired of this.”
One can only hope!