Jim Bakker: Mock Me And You’ll Answer To God

Jim Bakker, the self-anointed profit, (Yes, that’s the correct word when it comes to Jimbo.) is upset that some people consider him a con artist and/or a joke! And, some people (such as yours truly) have a hell of a lot lower opinion of him.

For those of you just back from wind surfing on Neptune, a bit of background may be in order.

While serving time at the Iron Bar Inn for various offenses including fraud, Jimbo dreamed up a new scam: Survival Food.

Now, in order to sell survival food, there has to be something to survive. So, Jimbo became a “Khristian” (As opposed to “Christian.”) End Times preacher. His programs are full of prophecies of doom and worse.

Here’s where the propheting for profit comes in, and it goes something like this:

There’s only one itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, little spanner in the works. None of this has happened or is happening! (Other than Ringling Brothers closing because the circus wasn’t drawing flies.)

  • No Muslim take over.
  • No big Blue State earthquakes. (A couple monster hurricanes ravaging Red States, though.)
  • If the Apocalypse is on, when was the rapture? (Did Jimbo and the gang miss the rocket ship?)
  • As for the “hellish 42 months?” Well, Rump is still squatting in the Oval Office, so we’ll have to see on that one.

The thing is, people are noticing that Jimbo’s batting average wouldn’t get him on a T-ball team and we’re letting other people know.

Well, Jimbo’s had it and he’s gotten Big Daddy (or whoever the voice in his head is) on his side as well!

When God says something to you, you don’t always know the exact time it’s going to happen. [So] stop beating up the prophets because God says, ‘Woe unto you when you beat up on the prophets.’

God is speaking to his people. The only ones who probably aren’t talking to God these days are mean people in America, people who just are anti-Christ.

If you don’t want to hear it, just shut me off. Especially you folks that monitor me every day to try to destroy me. Just go away. You don’t have to be there, you don’t have to hear it. But one day, you’re going to shake your fist in God’s face and you’re going to say, ‘God, why didn’t you warn me?’ And He’s going say, ‘You sat there and you made fun of Jim Bakker all those years. I warned you but you didn’t listen.’

Earth to Jimbo: Here’s what Big Daddy really said about you. It’s from Ezekiel 13:9:

My hand will be against the prophets who see false visions and utter lying divinations.

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: screen shot

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Nutcake: Las Vegas Massacre Was An ISIS Operation

Wayne Allyn Root is lying again! (Or, is that “still lying?”) Now he’s claiming that the murder of 59 concert go’ers was an ISIS operation.

For those of you not familiar with this particular troglodyte, Wayne Allyn was the Libertarian candidate for Veep, back in ’08. Nowadays, he pontificates for several journalistic jewels as “Townhall” and “The Moonie Times.”

Root is a Rump smoocher! (Right cheek only. He wouldn’t be caught dead having anything to do with the left.) This is the filbert who once declared that having Trump as president was equivalent of having a lusty wife that loves to do the horizontal tango seven days a week,

In the past, he’s also regaled us with his wisdom on

  • Getting involved with feminist type females. (It seems they have a predilection for chopping off your pee-pee.)
  • Liberals being mentally ill. (We’re out of our minds and we’re headed for civil war.)
  • His gift of prophecy. It seems he correctly predicted “100 out of 100” things including the Mexico City earthquake. (Of course, he made this claim after the earthquake.)
  • The need for conservatives to hire special forces operatives who “have killed people” to destroy liberal groups. (Good ol’ 2nd Amendment solution!)

The list goes on, but you get the idea.

I’ll say one thing for the Rootster, he tries to keep current. (Keeps the old donations flowing in, don’tcha know!)

Lately, the hottest action has been the Las Vegas Massacre. Every conspiracy nutball has dreamed up his own “nefarious plot” in the battle for the Benjamins. (You didn’t think they all do this as a public service did you?)

And, credit where credit is due. Root’s come up with one of the better (It resonates well with the “tinfoil toupee” crowd.) and nuttier. (It makes absolutely no sense.)

ISIS, their fingerprints were all over this thing. This is what I said from the first second and GQ and the Washington Post and Slate magazine and Time magazine and 20 others tried to destroy me and wipe my career off the face of the earth. It really didn’t matter—I gave them the middle finger and told them to go screw themselves because I don’t care what they think.”

That was on his program on Tuesday, [10/10/18]. Of course, he didn’t have a damn bit of proof of his ISIS claim, but what’s that got to do with it?

Anyway, he was just getting started.

I have nothing to worry about so I laugh in their liberal commie faces, their liberal commie Muslim-sympathizer faces. “Screw you! Come and get me. Screw you.

Don’tcha love it when they try to toss a bunch of their “insults” in a bag even though those insults do not work well together? (I’m surprised he didn’t use “socialist-fascist.”)

They tried to destroy me and if it turns out to be ISIS, you better all lawyer up because we’re coming after you with the best lawyer gunslingers in the world. I’ll be hiring Donald Trump’s lawyers to come after you and destroy you. I will own the Washington Post [for] the way you tried to slander me when all I did was report the truth.

Root seems to be a bit confused. (Whodathunkit?) First he says he’going get “the best lawyer gunslingers in the world.” Then he goes on to say “I’ll be hiring Donald Trump’s lawyers.” Earth to the Rootster: From all indications so far, “the best lawyer gunslingers” and “Trump’s lawyers” are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Gage Skidmore

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Wingnut Outraged About Gay Couple On Star Trek

A gay couple on Star Trek? Oh the HORROR!!!

Evidently, that’s what’s on the menu in the new “Star Trek: Discovery(Quick disclaimer: I haven’t had the chance to watch the series yet, but I’ll catch up with it this evening.)

Homophobic troglodytes are outraged! At least one of them, anyway. Some dude named Peter LaBarbera, president of a group called “Americans for Truth About Homosexuality.”

A bit of background:

What are “the truths” about homosexuality? (h/t to RationalWiki for conveniently listing them.)

  • The biggest truth is that gays can be converted to straights by God’s love…Of course, it does not matter that the newly “straight” people are depressed, living lies, and even sometimes suicidal.
  • Gays are out to take over the world…The homo-facism must be stopped — they are teaching our children to respect each other regardless of things like who they love.
  • Gays are always invading schools, the centerpiece of their homosexual indoctrination scheme.
  • That we need your donation to do our good work.
  • That the gays are invading our churches, turning good churches into “sin-loving churches.”
  • That they are invading our politics. There are now three openly gay members of Congress. And you need to learn how to spot the gay in politics. Buy our book and we will tell you how.
  • That your taxes subsidize the Homosexual Agenda

(Oh, and the Southern Poverty Law Center has named “Americans for Truth About Homosexuality” a Hate Group.)

Now that the back has been grounded, on with the subject of today’s rant.

Last week, [9/26/17] LaBarbera went on VCY America to piss and moan about the Star Trek situation.

The homosexual activists are never satisfied, they always want more, more, more.

Actually, all they really want is to love and marry whoever they choose and to have the same rights and protections as the “straight” community!

We have yet to see an ex-gay, a former homosexual prominently portrayed in Hollywood.

That might be because there is no such animal as an ex-gay. There are homosexuals who no longer paractice homosexuality, but if you’re gay, you’re gay till the day you die! Homosexuality is NOT medical or mental! It’s more genetic in nature

I guess all we can do is not watch Star Trek. This sort of propaganda and political correctness is why Trump won in the first place.

From mounting evidence it’s looking like Trumps election had a hell of a lot more to do with criminal interference than “political correctness.”

Remember, the other side never stops fighting. There is a battle between good and evil in this country.

He got the “good and evil” part right, it’s just that he gets the sides mixed up.

But, the Star Trek rant was just part of LaBarbera’s message. He also urged his fellow troglodytes to put pressure on politicians to enforce Rump’s ban on transgenders in the military.

And, he wants the “very, very dangerousEquality Act killed because, if passed, it “would make it easier for homosexual activists and liberal attorneys to persecute people of faith for opposing this juggernaut which calls itself ‘gay.’

Stay tumed!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: YouTube screen grab

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Wingnut: ‘Every NFL Stadium Is A FEMA Camp In Hiding’

NFL Stadiums are FEMA camps???

Just when you think the troglodyte insanity has reached its maximum, the idea becomes obsolete in a couple of days.

But then, this is the “Age of Trump.” (Or, as I not so affectionately refer to him, “Rump!”)

Case in point: A few days ago I wrote a post on one of the most insane conspiracy theories I’ve ever run across: That the national anthem protests were a Communist (Remember them?) plot orchestrated by none other than Barack HUSSEIN Obama!

A mere three days later, I stumbled on this little gem.

Now, the FEMA camp nonsense has been around for a while. It usually rears its grotesque visage when there’s a Dem in the Oval Office. However, this FEMA conspiracy is so “out there” it’s almost interplanetary. (Emanates from “Planet Whacko,” no doubt.)

Evidently, (but without any evidence) while they’re waiting to become FEMA camps, the stadiums are actively involved in brainwashing the game attendees. And watching your team on TV won’t keep you safe, TVs transmit the hypnosis waves (Alpha, gamma, theta, and delta waves, if you didn’t know.) right into your living room.

Confused? Cause I sure as hell am! (However, that would explain Bullshit Mtn viewers.)

Ya know, I think I’ll just let Sheila Zilinsky tell the tale. After all, she’s the one that forgot wear her tinfoil toupee.

I told you the NFL was out of the bowels of hell and nothing more than a propaganda machine, with mindless sheep who are brainwashed every night of the week with the alpha, gamma, theta waves, the delta waves lulling people into trances, slipping people into mass hypnosis. That’s declassified, folks. High-level mind control projects have been exposed, it’s on record. TV, that noise box, is the most disgusting invention ever made.

I think the NFL is pure evil. It’s anti-Christian, anti-family, anti-patriot, anti-constitutional, anti-gun, anti-American for sure.

These new NFL policies are straight out of the Pol Pot regime. In some stadiums, women can’t even enter into the same entrance as men and children. Talk about your FEMA camp training. That’s right, the NFL is an extension of the TSA, the DHS, the globalist agenda and FEMA.

Every NFL stadium is a FEMA camp in hiding. The American public is being conditioned to the fact that the state owns your body and your freedoms … The NFL stadiums are going to be staging areas for martial law and it’s all a part of the conditioning process.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Thomas

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Buy Jim Bakker’s Food Buckets or Answer to God!

You can take the man out of the con, but you can’t take the con out of the man! Case in point: Jim Bakker!

(QUICK DISCLAIMER: Back in the old P.T.L. [“People That Love”, or more appropriately, “Pass The Loot.”] days, I used to watch Jimbo’s show once in a while. Not for Jimbo, but for his wife, Tammy Faye. She was sooo “out there” she was a riot to watch. Sadly, Tammy Faye is gone and the new Tammy Faye clone just doesn’t have that zing!)

Back to the regularly scheduled rant!

After a multi-year vacation at “Club Fed,” it didn’t take convicted con artist, Jim Bakker, very long to slither back into his old habits.

He’s back with his own program, the narcissistically named  “Jim Bakker Show.” This time, instead of waaaaaay overselling time shares in a Khristian theme park, [“Heritage U.S.A.”] he’s opened up a new boulevard to the “Benjamins.”

You see, when Jimbo was in the slammer, he found “GOD!!!” The old guy turned out to be a dude three cells down. (OK, I made that one up!) What he found was a better con.

One of the main things that got him into hot water last time was that he was taking people’s money and not giving them anything for it. This time around he would give them something tangible for their money. Like food! But, it would have to be something special that Safeway, Kroger or Winco doesn’t stock and there would have to be perceived need.

EUREKA! Create the “need” by pitching a lot of “End-of-Days” nonsense, and link it to the need for “survival food.”

The rubes will buy it. It’s been proven countless times that they’ll buy bullshit by the barrel! (Speaking of Hair Fuhrer……)

From all indications, it’s working out quite well. He likes to have guests that “prophecy” coming calamities like mythical planets colliding with the earth or nuclear war because “gay marriage.”

But, it looks like it’s not enough for Jimbo. (Is it ever?) He seems to be “blessed” with the need for greed.

On his show on Friday, his guest, John Shorey, another “End Times Profit” (Yes, “profit” is spelled correctly.) pitched in to boost sales. Speaking to those with more bucks than brains, he suggested if they “have the means to buy 100 buckets of food” to “buy 100 buckets of food” and give them to churches.

But, 100 buckets is “chump change,” Jimbo wants the big bucks.

Do a million dollars worth of food, I’m serious. If they’re rich, their money is going [away] anyway, John. It’s not going to be worth anything. The crash is coming, so why not sow it into the Lord?

Shorey took the baton and ran with it.

The Bible says that our riches will be a witness against us. When the time comes that you’ve left money in the bank that could have been used to help people, to help feed people and all you did is you just kept all your riches for yourself, it will be a witness against you. You will stand before God and he will say, ‘Why didn’t you do more to help the needy?’

(I’m all for “helping the needy!” Just not really into “helping the greedy!”)

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: screen grab

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

 

 

Rapture Begins Saturday as ‘Planet Nibiru’ Collides with Earth

Are you righteous enough to be “raptured?”

If not, stop by Jim Bakker’s website to pick up your needed survival food and gear. But, you better get your tail a-movin’ because we’re going to collide with another planet, come Saturday [9/23/17].

COST SAVING ALERT!!!:

If the planet playing bumper-cars has a diameter of more than 60 miles, save your money. Anything larger than that and microbes may not survive.

It seems, according to noted numerologist David Mead, there’s a solar planet called “Nibiru” with a 3000 year orbit that’s going to get a bit too friendly on Saturday.

For starters, he’s got the number to prove it: 33!

As Mead explained it to the Washington Post,

Jesus lived for 33 years. The name Elohim, which is the name of God to the Jews, was mentioned 33 times [in the Bible] It’s a very biblically significant, numerologically significant number. I’m talking astronomy. I’m talking the Bible … and merging the two.

And, wouldn’t you know it, this Saturday is 33 days after the solar eclipse. (More on that in a bit.)

Speaking of stuff in the”Good Book,” there’s this gem that’s supposed to occur at the same time.

And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth. – Revelation 12:1-2

In case you missed the “true meaning” of that, the woman is the constellation Virgo, her soon-to-be-born son is Jupitor. In other words, the moon, Jupitor and the constellation Virgo are all lined up like a row of ducks. This is supposed to harold J.C.’s “2nd Coming.”

One teensy-weentsy problem with that. It happens about every 12 years

(Btw, would J.C. be riding in on Nibiru or would he have separate transportation?)

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring. – Luke 21:25

Signs in the sun and in the moon = Solar Eclipse: CHECK (Of course, there are, on average, two to four solar eclipses every year.)

And in the stars = Stars going supernova: CHECK (Stars go supernova in the universe, about every second or so.)

Distress of nations = Rump bragging about starting a nuclear war: CHECK (The earth has been under that threat for 70 years from people almost as nut-cake as he is.)

The sea and the waves roaring = Hurricanes: CHECK (Several hurricanes are spawned every year. Yes, they’re getting worse, but that’s due to climate change, not “the 2nd Coming.”)

Oh, and there’s one other minor problem with this scenario: NIBIRU DOESN’T EXIST!

There may be more undiscovered solar planets out there. Very possibly are! However, a planet heading towards Earth could be seen with the naked eye even if it were still nine months out, let alone a few days.

Check out this WaPo article.

In the meantime, enjoy the video. You might get a chuckle or three.

Stay tuned!

Oh, and have a great “End of Days” party Saturday.

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/T. Pyle (SSC)

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Jim Bakker: The Recent Hurricanes Are A Sign That ‘God’s Judgment Is Coming’

Back in the Bronze Age, disasters and other infrequent acts of nature were “SIGNS FROM GOD!” (Or Gods, depending on which mythology you subscribed to.) Of course, so were sheep’s entrails, goose livers and a host of other esoteric items. But that was 3,000 years ago. This is the 21ST CENTURY! We’re all past believing in that mythological nonsense. Right??

Well. Evidently. Not all of us. Take Jim Bakker. (Insert your own snark here.)

Now, a lot of you remember Jimbo from his fraudy, rapey days at PTL. (PTL was supposed to stand for “Praise The Lord,” but “Pass The Loot” was a better fit.)

But, that was the old Jimbo. During an all too brief vacation at the Iron Bar Inn, he found “God.” (Or, at least a safer scam.) Nowadays, he’s an “End-Times” herald and a survival food salesman. (Falls under: Create a need and fill it.)

Food sales must be down a bit, because Jimbo went on his show today [9/12/17] to pitch gloom and doom like he was the devil himself. (Or, at least a close cousin.)

God’s judgment is coming.

Why am I crying out, ‘Prepare, prepare, prepare’? Because somebody put me in prison.

Yeah, that would have been the Feds, after he was convicted on multiple charges.

The devil meant it for evil but … God meant it for good. So I studied every word [in the Bible], so I know what’s coming. This flood didn’t shock me, I saw this flood. New Orleans is going to be covered with water; I don’t know if it’s this week but it’s going to happen. God says it will never come back at one point, unless it repents.

Maybe I missed that part of the “good book,” but I’ll be darned if I remember a passage mentioning New Orleans.

Do you know when these other huge hurricanes hit? Do you know what days they hit? It hit on the decadent days, the days of the decadence parades and all … The hurricane hit in Florida and they were having that parade and it hit on that day and then when it was to hit in New Orleans, it started there.

I don’t have a clue which “decadence parades” he’s referring to. There are so many to choose from. But, it wasn’t Mardi Gras, and you’d think it would be.

God’s judgment is coming. It’s coming whether we want it or not and it’s not because he hates us, he just wants to wake up America. We have mocked God.

So, am I to assume that Big Daddy is going to give the rest of the world a pass and just take out his anger on us? And, if that is the case, why are only “Red States” being hit? (You’d think he’d give Massachusetts a shot across the bay.)

Now, in fairness to Jimbo, he’s not the only “Khristian” (As opposed to “Christian,” which they ain’t!) troglodyte trotting this trail. The “Religious Wrong” blogosphere is replete with them. After all, “Fear is the best fundraiser!”

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Screen Grab

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

‘Aborted Babies Are The Food Source That Is Empowering Baal’

People have to realize the strongman over America is Baal. Baal is a very violent entity, he is the second in Satan’s triune, he is the second in command, he is the counterfeit Christ. It feeds off the blood of the innocent, which is the aborted babies. This is why Baal is the strongman, because the aborted babies are the food source that is empowering Baal. – Mark Taylor

Mark “The Man Who Saw Tomorrow” Taylor has dug a deeper hole in the excrement that passes for his thought processes.

It seems like just last week (Actually, it was!) I did a post on this loon (with apologies to my favorite bird) claiming the Illuminati and the Freemasons got together to broadcast a frequency [440 hz] that turns normal, everyday people into Trump haters!

Of course, the Illuminati is every filbert’s fave conspiracy cabal, but I was intrigued that the Freemasons joined in. After all, most of the major movers and shakers of the Founding Daddies were Freemasons. They were also deists, which shoots the whole “America is a Christian nation” steer shit in the ass! (Or would, if steer shit had an ass, rather than emanate from one.)

But, that was last week’s rant, let’s delve into this latest pile of emasculated bovine bowel movement.

Baal (17th Century version)

Those of you who have really read “The Good Book.” (Most “Khristians” really haven’t. They just read the parts they cherry-pick to back up their polluted fantasies.) you may recall Baal as a Canaanite god. He was the god of fertility. (Which is kinda the opposite direction from “aborted”.)

It wasn’t until the 17th century goetic occult writings that Baal emerges as one of the seven princes of Hell. (Who says my rants aren’t educational?)

Goety, for those of you who didn’t click the link, is a practice that includes the conjuration of demons. (A handy talent to have, no matter what the century.)

Speaking of demons and sprits from “The Dark Side,” let’s get back to Markie.

If you’re listening to these politicians and they’re telling you, ‘Oh, we’re pro-choice, it’s all about a woman’s right to choose, it’s all about women’s health,’ you’re being duped, you’re being lied to.

They don’t care anything about you. All they want from you, as a woman, is to be a breeder for that food source, for you to abort that baby to feed their god called Baal. They don’t care anything about your right to choose, they don’t care anything about your health, all they want is that baby aborted as a sacrifice because every time you abort a baby, it’s a sacrifice to their god called Baal.

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Philip De Vere
p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Are Freemasons, Illuminati Using A Special DNA Changing Frequency To Make People Hate Trump?

Think that’s a silly headline? The “Man Who Saw Tomorrow” doesn’t!

Mark Taylor (or, at least his alter-ego, Shakina Kami) claims it’s happening!

So, who in the 8th Circle of Dante’s Inferno, is Mark Taylor? (Or, Shakina Kami, for that matter?)

He useta be a fighter of fires, but I think his oxy tank ran out one too many times. Nowadays, he’s a self-made prophet, having predicted that Trump would win the election. (That’s it, folks! That’s his claim to fame.) He even wrote a book about it: The Trump Prophecies: The Astonishing True Story Of The Man Who Saw Tomorrow… And What He Says Is Coming Next.$17.99, $4.95 if WND (aka Weird Nuts Drooling) is having a promotion.

As for Shakina Kami, according to Taylor, it’s a combination of “African” and “Indian” that means “Beautiful One Whose Desires Are Fulfilled, and in Whose Life the Lord Dwells with the Divine Wind of Providence.” (I did some checking and actually, “Shakina” is Somali for “Shakina” and “Kami” is Indonesian for “we.”)

As far as filbert fantasists go, Shakina is minor league. In fact, he’s so minor, that he isn’t even mentioned in Wikipedia, although Right Wing Watch has chronicled some of his more blatant oral bowel movements.

For instance:

Now, Shakina has topped (bottomed?) himself!

He went on Sheila Zilinsky’s “Weekend Vigilante” program to warn us of nefarious deeds!

I believe what happened on November 8 is the enemy has literally sent out a frequency and it agitated and took control, basically, of those who have their DNA that was turned over to the enemy. That’s what’s happening. The Illuminati, the Freemasons, all these people, their main goal is to change the DNA of man and they’re doing it through these frequencies.

He even named the frequency that can “damage your body organs” and “changes your DNA, which is the goal of the Freemasons, the Illuminati; they want you part of that Illuminati bloodline.” (It’s 440 hz, in case you’re curious.)

If you don’t quite hate Trump enough, you might expose yourself to it and see if it helps.

Shakina knows this for a fact because he gets lots of email from troglodytes that keep losing friends “because their DNA is being controlled by the enemy.”

Stay tuned!

 

Alex Jones: Michelle Obama Has A Penis, May Have Murdered Joan Rivers

 

The competition for “Flakiest Filbert in the Nut Hatchery” must be tremendous!

From “Reverend Senile” (aka “Crazy Uncle” Pat Robertson) to the dispicable Teddy Shoebat, these tinfoil toupeed troglodytes keep trying to top (Or, is that “bottom?”) each other.

It seems that every day, they fantasize something new and even more bizzare than the day before. (Usually via a conversation with “Big Daddy!) But, if “Big D” is busy, or if they’re too damn dumb to dream up a new outrage, they’ll recycle an old one!

Speaking of Alex “Wo0 W0o” Jones,

Three years ago (Sept. 8, 2014, to be exact.) I did a post covering the claim that the “nefarious” Michelle Obama was, in reality(?), a cleverly disgusied male. Not only that, but she was in on the Illuminati plot to kill Joan Rivers.

According to the “Conspiracies-R-Us” gang, that African Islamist, Barack Hussein Obama conspired with the very Christian Illuminati to rub out Joan Rivers. The C-R-U doesn’t mention which Illuminati it is, (There’s more than one offshoot of the original Bavarian Illuminati.) but whoever it is, they’ve got this “super-secret” hit list and Joan’s name is (was?) on it.

It seems that Joan “outed” the president. Not only that, but she exposed Mrs Obama as a tranny. She never explained how she found out. Possibly used her “gaydar” on Barack and her “trannydar” on Michelle. I really don’t know. (Or care.)

In the words of that great philosopher, Yogi Berra, “It’s deja vu all over again!”

In his “Infowars” fantasy fest yesterday, [8/25/18] Alex was back at it and this time he brought along video “proof.”

Michelle Obama] looks like she’s either got a rubber snake in her pants or she is — could be a major porn star in Hollywood. Joan Rivers said this and died, and none of the media will even cover that she had dinner with the Obamas. And then she died, but they don’t ever show in the reports that I’m saying Joan Rivers said it.

Since the early days of the Obama administration, citizens across the board have studied videos and photos of Michelle Obama and said that she is a man.

Look, see it for yourself. Here’s the footage. It’s going to go to number one on YouTube.

Michelle is transgender, we all know it…we have famous photos of her where it appears she has a large bulge in her pants.

Maybe it’s a forked tail that’s six inches long. That’s it. Michelle Obama is a devil. I’ve already made that joke about Obama, but maybe it isn’t, maybe it’s a little forked tail. You decide, what is this hanging between her legs jiggling and flopping around? Here it is. She’s adjusting it. I mean I’ve seen men my whole life, myself, adjust their packages.

There you have it! Straight from the horse’s (nether) mouth. Proof positive(?)

However, remember that Alex has previously claimed without evidence, that the Sandy Hook massacre and Boston bombings were hoaxes and that Barack Obama founded Isis. (I don’t call him “Wo0 W0o” for nothing!)

Stay tuned!

Grouchy

Featured Image Credit: Sean P. Anderson

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did. It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).