Scott Lively Issues A Call To Arms (Transylvania Style)

mobIt may be a fig newton of my imagination, but it seems to me that over the last few years I’m hearing more and more wing-nuts advocating violence if they don’t get their way. The first time I took serious note of this behavior was in 2012 when Sharron Angle made her infamous “2nd Amendment Remedy” comment.

“I hope that’s not where we’re going, but you know if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around?”

Here’s a major party candidate for United States Senator, for craps sake,  that is essentially condoning violence if her type doesn’t get their way democratically.

Since then I’ve been particularly sensitive to this sort of garbage. And I’m not just talking about Teddy (Draft Dodger) Nugent. But what really scares me is that they are getting away with it.

Free speech does not extend to advocating violence!

I will give today’s subject credit. He’s a bit more original with choice of weapons and he’s smart enough to know the type of people he’s dealing with – a mob! o-SCOTT-LIVELY-620Meet (if you already haven’t had the displeasure) Scott Lively, anti-gay warrior extraordinaire.

I met Scotty back when he started out in Portland, in the late 80’s, as an anti-abortion campaigner. In ’91, he shifted anti’s to homosexuality. He was so successful that Portland now has the 2nd largest LGBT community in the country.

Our Scotty is a man of many other talents as well:

  • He ran for governor of Massachusetts in 2014. (Came in 4th out of 5 with less than 1% of the vote.)
  • He’s a player on the international stage. Scotty is the man behind Uganda’s unconstitutional legislation that called for the death penalty if you’re of the gay persuasion. Of course, the law got thrown out and according to the BarbWire blog, Scotty is being “crucified” in court over his little stunt. Seems he may have committed “crimes against humanity“.
  • He’s the author (er, co-author) of “The Pink Swastika“, a book that claims that homosexuals invented Nazism and were the guiding force behind the atrocities. (Hmm, I wonder if the gays sent to the concentration camps were aware of that.)
  • He’s the president of Abiding Truth Ministries, which btw, is listed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
  • His Abiding Truth Ministries owns the aforementioned “BarbWire” that is whining about his “crucifixion.”

Ok, that more or less brings us up to yesterday. (3/22/15)

Yesterday he posted a call to arms on BarbWire and WND (Weird Nuts Drooling aka World News Daily).

“The battle today is for marriage, the core of the natural family. Every human being on this planet will be harmed if the elites are allowed to destroy it by mutation. It is no different than Monsanto destroying natural foods or seeds by mutating their DNA…Our common paradigm in the grassroots for guiding society should be natural vs artificial across the board, including natural marriage and family…The natural family is the ecosystem of humanity! It must be preserved at all costs.”How? By a populist uprising! The elites need to see the angry mob — liberals and conservatives together — surging through the streets, pitchforks and torches held aloft, ready to tear down Frankenstein’s castle with their bare hands if need be. The only way to deter the elites is with the threat of the mob. They need to see the pitchforks and torches to know they’ve gone too far and need to back down.That’s where we are today in America. The elites want to eliminate the natural family to create a better class of serfs: state-bred children for the factories and the battlefield — easier to control, dulled by drugs and sexual promiscuity … and bread and circuses.”

So in one fell swoop, he manages to berate modern science, medicine and, of course, gays all because of a dystopian future that only he and his ilk portend. And forget about the 2nd Amendment, (they’re massively out-gunned, anyway) go back to nature (farm division) for your weapons. (I’m sure that will work as well as it did with Frank, Drac and Wolfie.)

Of course, he stated that this was all “metaphorical.” (Wink, wink)

Fox & Friends: ‘Marriage Is The Fraud Of The Rings If You’re A Man’

Screen-Shot-2015-04-21-at-10.00.12-AM-620x412Those people who say that conservatives have no sense of humor have never watched Fox & Friends. I mean, it is their version of the Colbert Report isn’t it? Nobody could come up with some of their stuff without his tongue planted firmly in somebody’s cheeks.
Wait!…What??? You mean this is supposed to be a serious show?……Oh lord……..WOW! Civilization in regression.
Ok, well on Tuesday, F&F featured “men’s rights” warrior, Peter Lloyd. Peter is the author of “Stand By Your Manhood (A Game-Changer For Modern Men)”. He’s also the dude that threatened to sue his gym for sexual discrimination because they had “women only” classes.
On the program, Peter stated,
“I always say, marriage is the fraud of the rings if you’re a man,”
Now, he has a good reason for thinking that.
“When marriages fail, they generally fall in the favor of women. Let’s be honest here, it’s a legally binding contract, and it serves men not at all. Men need to be wise to it, and avoid it at all costs.”
Naturally, hearing that, Steve Doocy thought “feminism”!
“Do you blame feminism?”
And, of course, Peter does.
“I think there is a certain strand of feminism which has prioritized the safeguarding of women over men, even though we’re all supposed to be equal, and I think what’s happened is that now we live in a society where we’re told men can’t view women as sex objects, but women can view men as success objects.”
In fairness, his statements didn’t go unchallenged. One of the resident blondes, Liz Hasselbeck, was concerned that no marriages mean no children. Because marriage is a big part of “family values”. And “family values” are a big part of Fox’s propaganda package.

Did Jesus Name The Anti-Christ? (Psst, It’s ‘You-Know-Who’)

Obama-is-the-AntChristWhile perusing the Regressive/Religious Wrong sites, (Well, somebody has to keep tabs on what they’re up to and I get paid to do it.) I ran across a post that claims the bible names the anti-Christ.

I already touched on this subject back in October. That time the claim was based on a mythological “bible code” as interpreted by an expert nobody ever heard of. This time it’s a whole ‘nother pile of elephant pucky. (It’s still elephant pucky, just a slightly different flavor.)

This time some true believer (i.d. unknown) discovered that if you take a word from the New Testament and translate it back to Aramaic and then take a word from the Old Testament and translate it back and then combine the words, you’ve discovered the true name (sort of) of the anti-Christ. (I don’t make this stuff up folks, my mind isn’t that off-kilter.)

There is a video, of course, that runs you through the convoluted and erroneous non-logic, but I usually get lost in the maze early on. (DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for the wasted five minutes of your life!)

The video first showed up on World News Daily (aka Weird Nuts Drooling). That should tell you something right there. It’s attributed to one ppsimmons. (P.P. Simons?) Whoever he or she is, no one seems to know and if they do, they ain’t talkin’.

It starts with Luke 10:18, King James Version, of course.

And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.

The first key word in this puzzle is “lightning”. Whether Luke wrote Luke or not, (The evidence is strong that he didn’t.) it was written in Greek. So, the first thing you have to do is go back to the Greek word and translate it into Aramaic.

Now, bare in mind that translations are often subjective as some words have no direct match in another language and many have various and quite different definitions. And here you’re going from the original spoken Aramaic to Greek and back to Aramaic. There are other problems as well, but I’m not writing a book.

If the forth-and-back translation of lightning is correct, the word in Aramaic is “barak”. (Bet you can see where this is going.)

Also, according to the video “heaven” doesn’t mean heaven. In this case it means “high place” as in Satan’s abode. This is true because elsewhere in Luke (Luke 8:5) the word “air” refers to Satan’s abode. (Ooooookay!)

Which brings us to the rest of Mr Anti-Christ’s name.

For this, we travel back in time to Old Testament days. Isaiah’s time to be exact. (circa 8th century BCE) In Isaiah 14:14, Satan says,

I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.

FUN FACT: The word “ascend” in Hebrew is alah. (Hmmm, maybe the Hebrews are in cahoots with “Lightning.”

In Aramaic, “heights” becomes bamah. Now, before I wrap this up in a pretty pink ribbon, I should point out that “bamah” is an unused root.

An “unused root” is a word not used in the bible. Only the words derived from the root are used. Therefore any translation must be of the derived word rather than the root. For example, both “mile” and “militia” are derived from the root word “milia,” which itself, means “thousands”. In other words, translate from the words used, not the ones not.

But, that’s reality. Back to Fantasy Land. According to the video’s rather unique logic, the correct translation of Luke 10:18 is.

I beheld Satan as Barack Obama.

Across the bottom of the screen throughout the video was a banner proclaiming “Jewish Rabbi Confirms the work of this video!” However, the President of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, Rabbi Dan Ehrenkrantz, stated

“[The video] doesn’t hold up even within its own silly logic,”

(I think I’ll go with Rabbi Ehrenkrantz on this one.)

I’ll leave you with the words of Matthew 7:15

Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

 

Neil deGrasse Tyson’s ‘Startalk’ Comes To Television

ILJR97089F252672In case you hadn’t heard, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a new weekly talk show. Well, it’s new on TV anyway. It’s a video adaption of his popular radio program and podcast, Startalk. (His last episode has over 246,00 plays on SoundCloud.) The show, which airs Mondays at 11pm on the National Geographic Channel, premieres this evening (4/20/15).

To help promote the program, Tyson was interviewed by media ranging from USA Today to Forbes to ThinkProgress.

As host of the show, Tyson says his role model is Jon Stewart.

“He can have an interview where he’s in the interview but it’s not about him, and I thought to myself, ‘That’s a good model.’

The program will delve into science related pop culture. For instance, the first show has a Star Trek theme with George Takei as a guest. In an upcoming program, Director Christopher Nolan talks about the science behind Intersteller.

Like the audio version, the show will feature some comedy, but no monologue.

“I’m an educator and a scientist, and [it] could only come out feeling preachy.”

The main thrust of the show is, of course, science. Tyson is quick to point out, however, that this isn’t just a show for astronomy freaks.

“We’re trying to bring science to the public, bring the universe down to earth.”

His science oriented guests include Bill Nye and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins among others.

From the political sphere, Jimmy Carter drops by for chat in a later show. Tyson stated in one interview that he would love to have Hillary or Obama on the show.

“He’s a busy guy, I get that. But I think StarTalk would be an occasion for him to display his geek credentials. “

In the ThinkProgress interview, the talk turned to the problem of science denying politicians.

“If you want to lean in a political way because that’s your politics, you should do that based on an objective truth rather than cherry-picking science before you even land at an objective truth. You can’t just cherry-pick data and choose what is true about the world and what isn’t.”

However, it’s not all the politicians’ fault.

“The issue here is not what politicians do because the electorate votes them into office. So what does it mean to complain about what politicians do? We should complain about what the electorate does.”

But, the real problem is deeper than that.

“I’m blaming an educational system that is not positioned to educate an electorate such that they can make informed decisions in this, the 21st century, where informed decisions based on objective scientific truths will play a fundamental role in what kind of society we create for ourselves.”

As for the media’s role in all this?

“There’s this journalistic ethos saying if I get one opinion then I need to get another opinion that countervails that. So if I say the world is round, are you obligated to say the world is flat, lest someone think you are being biased in your reporting? Well, that’s absurd. You wouldn’t do that, you’re educated. You know that there are certain points of view that have no foundation at all in objective truth.

 

If you allocated column inches in proportion to the scientific consensus of experiments, there would be one sentence talking about people who deny climate change and the rest of the ten columns talking about research that supports it.”

I made that same point in a post entitled There Are Not Two Sides To Every Story (This shameless plug brought to you by the friendly folks at Shameless Plugs-R-Us.)

When asked if he had political aspirations, he replied that he had been asked that same question by the New York Times back in 2011. His reply was not only elegant, it hit the nail right on the head.

“The question, “If I were President I’d…” implies that if you swap out one leader, put in another, then all will be well with America—as though our leaders are the cause of all ailments.

That must be why we’ve created a tradition of rampant attacks on our politicians. Are they too conservative for you? Too liberal? Too religious? Too atheist? Too gay? Too anti-gay? Too rich? Too dumb? Too smart? Too ethnic? Too philanderous? Curious behavior, given that we elect 88% of Congress every two years.

A second tradition-in-progress is the expectation that everyone else in our culturally pluralistic land should hold exactly your own outlook, on all issues.

When you’re scientifically literate, the world looks different to you. It’s a particular way of questioning what you see and hear. When empowered by this state of mind, objective realities matter. These are the truths of the world that exist outside of whatever your belief system tells you.

One objective reality is that our government doesn’t work, not because we have dysfunctional politicians, but because we have dysfunctional voters. As a scientist and educator, my goal, then, is not to become President and lead a dysfunctional electorate, but to enlighten the electorate so they might choose the right leaders in the first place.

As part of their “piercing probe,” USA Today asked him about his favorite science fiction movies and who would win if Bat Man and Iron Man got into a donnybrook. Check out the video for his answers.

Rick Scott: The Federal Government Is Like The Sopranos

LES SOPRANO - Saison 6Poor Rick Scott! The Federal Government is bullying his beloved Florida into (Gasp!) expanding Medicaid. It seems they won’t give him money to do something unless he does it. Now, I ask you, is that fair?

 All this ruckus is over some big-time loot. It amounts to over $1 billion that had been going to hospitals with low-income patients. The Feds gave all the states a years notice that the current Low Income Pool (LIP)  program is ending and will be replaced with one with funds to buy health insurance for patients rather than paying the hospitals. In other words, expand Medicaid!

 

It’s gotten so bad, that poor Rick feels like he’s being ganged up on by Tony Soprano’s goons and they’re giving him an offer he can’t refuse. He’s so desperate that he’s taken his case to that bastion of the really really true believers, Fox News.

“This is like ‘The Sopranos’ — we don’t have a choice.”

According to the Federal Government, this is a more efficient (cheaper) way to deal with the problem. Plus, in Florida’s case, it would add 800,000 people to the Medicaid program. The Feds will pay for all of it for the first three years. The fourth year, they’ll chip in 90%. Year five and beyond isn’t set yet. Scott is jumping on that as another reason to be very afraid.

“Our democracy is designed so that state governments can make the decision to not take on federal programs that will ultimately cost state taxpayers billions of dollars.
rick-scott-21Rick used to be for expanding Medicaid. But now that he’s survived re-election, he’s having second or third thoughts and he’s decided he’s against it. In fact, he’s so much against it, he’s suing the feds.
 “Not only does President Obama’s end to LIP funding in Florida violate the law by crossing the line into a coercion tactic for Obamacare, it also threatens poor families’ access to the safety net healthcare services they need. The population in Florida served under the LIP program is different from the population that would be covered under any Medicaid expansion, as is well documented in a recent Urban Institute report that said Florida would still have $1.6 billion in uncompensated care costs with or without an expansion of Medicaid.

 

He is correct when he says “The population in Florida served under the LIP program is different from the population that would be covered under any Medicaid expansion.” The population will be different by an additional 800,000 people.

Not sure where the $1.6 billion in uncompensated care costs comes from, since Uncle Sugar is picking up the tab. Also, since it’s the same amount either way, what does that have to do with the price of pumpkin seeds in Patagonia?

Ah, but here’s the parts that stick in my craw, (if I had one)

“They don’t care about the low-income families because they’re willing to walk away from a program.”

“We will fight to protect the healthcare of Floridians, and their right to be free from federal overreach.”

Scott’s Lt. Governor, Carlos Lopez-Cantera, piled it higher and deeper,

“Well, we need to explore every option to ensure that these funds are available for the most needy here in Florida.”

Those statements turn out to be your standard political mouth farts. In the real world, Scott is against a bill, the Florida Health Insurance Affordability Exchange (FHIX), that the Senate passed this month. If FHIX is made into law, it will use the federal funds to provide health insurance for more than 800,000 low-income families. (For some strange reason, a number of the “right” sources I researched forgot to include this rather important context.)

On Thursday, the White House Press Secretary, Josh Earnest, responded to all this.

“It’s difficult to explain why somebody would think that their political situation and their political interest is somehow more important than the livelihood and health of 800,000 people that they were elected to lead,”

Stay tuned!

 

NRA Speaker: America Has Islamic No-Go Zones And 5000 Terrorist Cells

B_35CEZUcAAB7HuLast week the NRA (Stage name for the National Rifle Manufactures’ Association of Lobbyists.) held its annual meeting in Nashville, TN.

While most of the attention has been on Wayne LaPierre’s bigoted rant about “Eight years of on demographically symbolic president is enough,” there was another speech that caught my ear. “Security expert” Steve Tarani resurrected the debunked myth about “Islamic no-go zones” in ‘Murica.

I tried to check Mr. Tarani’s bone fides, but his website had been “suspended/disabled.” I did find a profile of him on Karambit Tactical Knives‘ retail website. It said “Steve Tarani is an internationally respected edged weapons and personal safety expert.” (He’s a knife freak!) However, he’s not “internationally respected” enough to be listed in Wikipedia and I’m pretty sure KTK is his company. Sooo…….pass the NaCl.

A karambit knife

A karambit knife

Anyway, Mr. Tarani claimed that he was told by a real live member of the Detroit Metro SWAT Police that there were certain places in Dearborn they couldn’t go into.

The street signs suddenly went from English to Arabic. There wasn’t a single English word on any shop or any street sign. And in fact, these little yellow signs were posted all along the edges. Jeremy said to me, ‘this is it. We don’t go past this line.’ And I said to Jeremy, ‘what do you mean? You guys are Detroit Metro. You’re the SWAT team. You can go anywhere you want. What if you get a call over there?’ He said ‘this is it, it’s hazardous for our team if we go past this line.’

Of course, Dearborn MI isn’t the only place with “no-go” zones. According to Mr. Tarani, there are zones like that in cities throughout the country. Unfortunately, he didn’t name any so they could be checked. He did bring up the “fact” that there are “over 5,000 known terrorist cells in the United States.” Not sure who they’re “known” to, other than the “Conspiracies-R-Us” crowd. (Glenn Beck must be sooo proud.)

Dearborn, a sedate suburb of Detroit, is a mostly typical American suburban town. What’s not typical is that about 30% of the residents are Muslims. However, contrary to wing-nut fantasies, there are no “no-go” zones and they do not live under Sharia law. They live under federal, state and local laws just like you and me. You can even “pig out” on ham (oooo, sorry ’bout that one.) or purchase your favorite Lebanese wines and beer.

Also, the city’s mosques are mostly on well-traveled commercial streets. It’s pretty hard to turn them into “no-go” zones. Btw, there are also 51 Christian churches in Dearborn. (So much for “stoning of Christians in broad daylight.”)

So where did all this nonsense originate? Can you say FOX NEWS? (aka Faux Noise, aka Bullshit Mtn.) On her January 11th program, Fox’s Jeanine Pirro spoke with self-styled terrorism expert Steve Emerson. According to this “expert”, there are areas in Europe where Sharia law trumped civil and criminal law.

“Well these no go zones exist not only in France, but they exist throughout Europe. They’re sort of amorphous, they’re not contiguous necessarily, but they’re sort of safe havens and they’re places where the governments like France, Britain, Sweden, Germany don’t exercise any sovereignty. So you basically have zones where Sharia courts were set up, where Muslim density is very intense, where the police don’t go in, and where it’s basically a separate country almost, a country within a country.”

This brought an immediate international reaction. The Prime Minister of England called him “a complete idiot” and the City of Paris is suing Fox News.

Fox News issued an “oops.”

“over the course of this last week, we have made some regrettable errors on air regarding the Muslim population in Europe, particularly with regard to England and France.”

But, what’s a little thing like it being totally false have to do with spreading a bit of fear here and there? Not only that, but since most ‘Muricans aren’t too worried about European “no-go” zones, lets import it. The rubes bought the other bs, no reason why this is any different. (Plus, think of the gun sales!)

Stay tuned.

 

Idaho Takes A Stand Against Sharia Law (And Child Support Payments)

-1One of the last items on the agenda of this session of the Idaho legislature was Senate Bill 1067. The bill brings Idaho into compliance with the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act. (UIFSA) UIFSA provides money to the states for child support enforcement. It also provides database access and other enforcement assistance to help track down deadbeat parents.

The measure sailed through the senate on a unanimous vote. Then it got to the House Judiciary, Rules, & Administration Committee. During the discussion on the bill, Regressives Heather Scott of Blanchard (pop 261) and Sheryl Nuxoll of Cottonwood (pop 900) voiced some concerns.

Now, you may not have heard of it, but Cottonwood, Idaho is famous county-wide for its Dog Bark Park, a local B&B.dog-bark-park-inn-02 Blanchard, “The Little Town That Thought it Could,” is a wide spot on Idaho 41 surrounded by gorgeous northern Idaho scenery. (And no, I don’t get paid for mentioning the B&B or the gorgeous scenery.)

It seems to the aforementioned ladies that this is a plot to force Idaho to enforce child-support rulings made under Sharia law.

There is an international component to UIFSA. (That just might come in handy if your ex skips out to Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan to avoid paying child support.) It correlates with the Hague Convention on the International Recovery of Child Support and Other Forms of Family Maintenance. (HCOTIROCSAOFOFM) And, fair is fair, UIFSA has a reciprocal clause.

Now, here’s where the plot thickens. Several of the 80 countries that signed on to HCOTIROCSAOFOFM are (GASP!) Islamic. And we all know about Islamic countries and Sharia law.

The ladies probably got their scoop on the situation by checking out the “The Voice Of Idaho,” the TVOI News site. According to the site, it’s all a stealthy plot perpetrated by that master of misdeeds, the OBAMA itself. (In other words, it’s Obama’s fault.) Treason, they call it!

Well, I hate to “trickle down” on their parade, but there are a couple of pickles in the apple pie.

  1. None of the Islamic countries that signed on to HCOTIROCSAOFOFM are subject to Sharia law.
  2. Even if they were, the Idaho Attorney General’s Office told the committee that the bill allowed judges to reject cases that don’t meet the state’s standards.

Unfortunately, to Regressives, inconvenient facts fall into the cognitive dissonance category. Also unfortunately, there were enough Regressives on the committee to vote it down 9-8. The committee then adjourned sine die and went home.

According to one of the Regressives,

“When the attempt was made at the last hour, at 12:30 in the morning, I think everybody was ready to go home, and so that’s why it wasn’t brought out on the floor,”

In other words, their “tired” was more important than children’s health and welfare. (Family values, Regressive style!)

Since the bill didn’t pass, Idaho loses out on $16 million in child support enforcement money from the federal government. The state is also in danger of losing another $30 million in Temporary Assistance For Needy Families.

Without federal tools, Idaho parents who are owed child-support payments will have no way to them. Around 80% of support payments are deducted from paychecks. Noncompliance would prevent Idaho from making such collections because Idaho uses UIFSA programs to process the payments.

Idaho child support program director, Kandace Yearsley said that because it didn’t pass they face losing 2/3rds of their budget.

“These are major impacts to the families that we serve. There’s over 400,000 parents and children in the state of Idaho that rely on this program every day, and we need to make sure that we do everything we can to preserve whatever we can, but these impacts are huge to this program.”

Richard Armstrong, the director of the Department of Health and Welfare, which manages the state’s child support program, had this to say,

“This is new territory for us. We’ll work with our federal partners to determine the total impact, but this vote will make it nearly impossible for us to enforce child support like we should, so Idaho’s children are taken care of. The bottom line is that Idaho families may not receive their support money because we will not have the tools we need to make sure those payments are made.”

 

On Monday, the DHW released a statement.

“This is a new experience for Idaho. We have been told the federal support for Idaho’s Child Support Program will end if Idaho is not in compliance.”

Department officials will meet with U.S. Health and Human Services representatives this week. They expect to have 60 days to find a way out of this mess.

The governor’s office also released a statement on Monday that they were analyzing the impacts of the committee’s actions and what they mean for the 400,000 people who depend on Idaho’s system.

Some of the Regressives are trying to change the focus. They claim they revolted against being bullied by Uncle Sam. For instance, according to Rep. Lynn Luker of Boise, (pop 214,237) if you don’t sign on to UIFSA, you don’t get any UIFSA money. Now, where’s the fair in that?

“This is a very unfortunate situation that the federal government has foisted on us by threatening an existing program with a bully tactic that isn’t really necessary,”

Besides, the feds are probably just bluffing about cutting off funding.

“We don’t know if the federal government is going to hold true to their threat, and if they do, I think Health and Welfare has the resources to work with it while we look at this issue,”

Stay tuned.

Holy Fire Minister: Gays are Possessed by Stinky Demons

0This seems to be my week for holy half-wits.

First, there was Baptist bible banger, Bill Lytell who claims that you need a penis to be a leader. (Being a “dick”, he probably has an ulterior motive for saying that.) Next, there was “The Book of Yeezus”, a re-imagining of Genesis with Kenye West playing God. Then I took a look at whatever the Hell happened to Terry Jones, a hater of all things Islamic, even though he’s never even read the Quran.

Today, I’m going to top the previous insanity. This post is about a preacher who has this gay thing all figured out. According to him, gay people are possessed by fart demons! These demons not only cause gaiety, but they can drive pigs to suicide.

(Quick disclaimer: The post this is based on was written last July, but I was napping that week and missed it. However, the dude is sticking to his story, so it’s still fair game.)

Meet Bert Farias (“Brother B” to his true believers.) Bert is the founder of Holy Fire Ministries. Like all good Fundies, he’s anti- a lot of things from Obama to more enlightened churches. But, he holds a special place in his heart (or some part of his anatomy) for gays.maxresdefault4It isn’t that he hates gays and the rest of that perverted lot. No,no,no,no! He loves them and fortunately for them, he knows how to “cure” them. All it takes is a good old fashioned exorcism.

You see, the problem with gaiety, isn’t that you are born with it or even made a choice to be one. The problem isn’t you, it’s what’s inside of you. You are possessed by your (un) friendly local neighborhood fart demon. (Or, at least it’s one of the stinky demons.)

“Here’s the raw, naked truth: Homosexuality is actually a demon spirit. It is such a putrid-smelling demon that other demons don’t even like to hang around it.

A genuine prophet of God told me that the Lord allowed him to smell this demon spirit, and he got sick to his stomach. And yet as humans, many embrace this demon. Yes, you heard me right: Being gay is demonic.”

Ooookay…..I’m really not sure where he dug up that idea. Maybe it was that “genuine prophet of God”, because that sure isn’t in the bible.

“There is an account in the Bible where Jesus casts out 2,000 demons out of a man. The demons came out screaming and begged Jesus to send them into the pigs. The pigs didn’t want them, so they ran down a steep hill and were drowned in the sea. Pigs have more sense than some humans. People embrace homosexual demons, but the pigs would rather die than be possessed with demons.”

The bible makes no mention of the man’s sexual proclivities, so how does “Brother B” make the connection that these are gay demons?

FUN FACT: Bert Farias is an anagram of “Fart Rabies”. (That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but it’s a fun fact.)

“From a biblical perspective, the rise of homosexuality is a sign that a society is in the last stages of decay.”

That’s not in the bible either.

“The government of Denmark has made it mandatory for all churches to conduct gay marriages, regardless of religious beliefs, conscience or convictions. No church or minister in Denmark is exempt from complying with this new law.

Could America be next? Could a law be passed that would order American churches to perform gay ceremonies if they want to maintain their tax-exempt status?”

According to tax law, churches are exempt from taxes as long as they stay out of politics. Obviously, the law is not being enforced, and it should be.
One last “it’s not in there”: The bible has zero to say about the odor of demons! That seems to have originated with Oral Roberts. The Fundies picked it up from there.

Whatever The Hell Happened To: Quran Burner, Terry Jones?

Pastor_Terry_Jones_824757aWelcome to the inaugural post of an occasional series devoted to following up on the fate of people after their 15 minutes of fame (or infamy). Some people like “Sister Sarah” Palin or “The Donald” Turmp may never get profiled. (How can you miss them, if they won’t get lost?) However, there are others who come and go faster than a Fed Ex delivery person.

Today’s subject is one such person: Terry Jones. (Not the Monty Python guy, the Quran burner guy.)

When last we heard, Egypt wanted him extradited for crimes against Islam. Did he end up buried neck-deep in the Sahara sands? Did the Republican Geezus “rapture” him out of harms way? Inquiring minds want to know. (And, they’re about to find out.)

For those of you who were napping at the time, let me bring you up to speed.

Doctor Terry Jones (The “Doctor” part is an honorary degree from an unaccredited school.) believes that Islam is a violent religion and Muslims want to impose sharia law in ‘Murica. (I don’t know what put the wasp up his wazoo, sharia law and evangelical law are spittin’ images.)

Back in 2010, Doc Jones wrote a book entitled “Islam is of the Devil.” This is probably the place where I should tell you that he has never read the Quran. At that point, had never even been in a mosque. (Why is it always the people who don’t know much, that think they’re the experts?)

To celebrate the publication, he put an “Islam is of the Devil” sign on the lawn of his church, Dove World Outreach Center, in Gainesville, Florida. That led to irate neighbors and what he was really after, interest from the media.64725369_is-deHe also had some t-shirts made with “Islam is of the Devil” printed on the back. In August some of his students wore the shirts to school. They were sent home.

Fun fact #1: If you want to be an associate pastor for DWOC, you don’t have to take classes or any of that elitist BS. You just have to be ordained by some other church pastor. (Which might explain some of their religious leanings.)

Fun fact #2: When the Doc took over the Dove World Outreach in 2004, it was “outreaching” to about 100 members. By 2010, the world outreach had shrunk to 50. (We’re not talking about a “major mover” here, folks.)

Not-so fun fact #1: The DWOC is listed as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. (No big surprise there.)

In July of 2010, the Doc announced to the world that he was going to burn a bunch of Qurans. This got him media attention, BIG TIME!! He got comments and calls ranging from Hillary to General Petraeus. Even Obama offered his view,

“You could have serious violence in places like Pakistan or Afghanistan. This could increase the recruitment of individuals who would be willing to blow themselves up in American cities or European cities. I just want him to understand that this stunt that he is talking about pulling could greatly endanger our young men and women in uniform who are in Iraq, who are in Afghanistan. We’re already seeing protests against Americans just by the mere threat that he’s making.”

In September, the burnings were canceled and it looked like the whole thing was going to fade away. Then in March of 2011, it came back.

A “trial” was held, with the Quran accused of “crimes against humanity.” It was convicted and condemned to be burned at the stake. (Ok, I lied about the “stake” part. It was just burned.)

Jones followed that up in April of 2012, by burning another one in protest of the Iranian imprisonment of an Iranian-American Pastor.

In September of 2013, he was arrested before he could do it again, but managed to burn several hundred the following September.

While all this was going on, the Doc still found time to:

  • found the political organization, Stand Up America Now (They used to have a website, but it’s gone with the wind now.)
  • hold a rally in Tampa; (Drew a whole 10 people in a 500 seat building.)
  • hang an effigy of Obama; (Kinda reminds me of creeps in sheets.)
  • hang an effigy of Bill Clinton; (Because, why not?)
  • get banned from entering England and Canada;
  • promote the movie “Innocence of Muslims

You may recall “Innocence of Muslims” was the excuse for protests in Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen and Benghazi, Libya. The latter resulting in the death of four Americans including the Ambassador, J Christopher Stevens.

Oh, and I almost forgot. He ran for president in 2012 as an independent. I tried to find out how many votes he got, but I couldn’t find any.

Well, since the spotlight has faded, whats ol’ Doc been up to?

In 2013, the church pulled up stakes in Gainesville and moved to Bradenton, Florida, a suburb of Sarasota. (Those 50 “world outreachers” had dwindled down to 15)

Doc opened up a Fat Guys Gourmet Fries stand at one of the local malls early this year. He was asked to pick up and get out within a week. Seems Doc wouldn’t stop adding a side dish of bigotry along with the fries.

He also runs a furniture moving company along with his brother. However, after Charlie Hebo, he’s keeping a low profile.  He’s supposedly #2 on al Qaeda’s hit list. (He’s always been “number two” on my list.)

Oh, and that Egyptian trial resulted in a death sentence, but that was under the previous regime. I don’t think the new one is pushing it.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot again. He’s running for President. Again.

Michelle Bachman: Iran Deal Virtually Guarantees WWIII

maxresdefaultA tidbit from the “How can we miss you if you won’t get the hell outta here” department: Sharknado 3 co-star, “Mother Michelle” Bachmann, (No, I’m not sure which shark she portrays.) is making with the mouth farts again.

Now, I am aware of the debate as to whether giving publicity to pistachios like her, “Sister Sarah” Palin, Ted “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” Nugent and their ilk, just promotes their agenda (and raises their book & speaker fees). The problem with taking that tact is the fact that several million ‘Muricans believe their drivel and the rest of us need to keep tabs on what’s popping in Bubblevania.

I’d hoped I’d heard the last of Mother Michelle when she fled D.C. one step ahead of an ethics probe. Alas, it was not to be. Like a moth to a flame, she seems drawn to cameras and microphones. (With equally bad results) And, when those aren’t convenient, there’s always TWITter.

For instance, just last week, Mother took to Twitter because she was upset with Obama over the Iranian negotiations.

“With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight – a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it?”

That’s such a disgusting comment, I’m not even going to waste a snark on it.

But that was just comparing Obama to a man who killed over 150 people. Then she escalated the ante BIG TIME! On the 8th of this month (April, for you late readers) Mother was interviewed on Florida Live.

First, the good news: Mother Michelle is NOT running for president this cycle!

“No not today. I’m not looking at it. I ran in 2012. I’m extremely grateful I did because the distinct contribution I made in 2012 was to put the issue of repealing Obamacare front and center.”
 She learned her lesson and earned  FEC, Justice Department, FBI and Urbandale, Iowa police department investigations last time around.

After over-hyping her influence in the anti-Obamacare movement and repeating the standard debunked Regressive talking points on it, the subject changed to Obama’s relationship with Iran.

“That’s the worst thing that could happen. This literally is the worst part of the Obama presidency…We had, prior to this time, four state designated sponsors of terror in the world, Iran being the worst. Obama, for some inexplicable reason, has decided that he wants to elevate Iran, he wants to do away with all the designation the state sponsors of terror and he wants to bring Iran equal to any other country in the world and help them economically and militarily for no reason at all. This puts Iran in a position where they would have the fire power to be able to take out not only Israel, but they would have the fire power to use intercontinental ballistic missiles against the United States with nuclear chipped warheads. This virtually guarantees in my opinion, World War 3 and I think that alone would qualify Barack Obama for being the worst president that the United States has ever had to endure.”
Oh, the insanity. There are soooo many things wrong with that statement that it would take pages to cover them. Therefore, I’ll just stick with a couple easy enough for even Mother to get. (Although she won’t!)
“…the power to take out Israel” So, if Iran gets a bomb, Israel is doomed? Hmm, I guess she thinks the 80 to 100 atomic devices that Israel has are just going to sit in storage if they’re attacked? (The number range comes from various nuclear analysts, Israel doesn’t even like to admit they have any.)

Suppose they do try to take out Tel Aviv. They launch an IRBM (Intermediate Range Ballistic Missile). By the time the missile reaches apogee, Israel will have launched a good portion of those 80-100 warheads on every major city, religious and military target in Iran. Tel Aviv might be gone, if the IRBM could even penetrate Israel’s missile shield, but Iran would be uninhabitable for the next several hundred years at the least.

Iran’s leaders are extreme religious zealots and proof positive that humanity is not that far removed from cave man days, but I don’t think they are stupid enough or insane enough to do it. Martyrdom is for underlings, not for them.
“…use intercontinental ballistic missiles against the United States with nuclear chipped warheads.”  Earth to Mother: IRAN DOESN’T HAVE ANY ICBM’S! And, developing them takes years. Just ask North Korea.
What she ignores or isn’t intelligent enough to realize, is that there are only two ways to slow down Iran’s nuclear development. Negotiate or go to war. Of course, according to her, the fact that we negotiated will lead to war anyway.
Oh, and btw, Obama hates Israel.
“We’re not their ally. We’re not. The American people are but Barack Obama is not their ally.”
Obama’s an ally of Israel all right. He’s just not an ally of Netanyahu. But that’s a bit too complicated for her to understand.
There is a lot more to the interview and if you have the stomach for it, you can listen to the it here. (BYO nausea pills)