Former Disney Sculptor Creates an Anatomically Correct(?) Trump Troll Doll (NSFW)

Everybody’s least favorite web troll, Donald Trump, (aka “Herr Rump,” aka “Duh Fuhrer”) now has a doll in his image. And, fittingly, it’s a troll doll.

Careful thought was put into the details, from it’s blond mop, swept to the side to cover the tinfoil, to it’s miniature middle extremity. It even has a tiny little cell phone clutched in its tiny little hands.The only thing it doesn’t have is a “lie track,” since it doesn’t speak. But somehow, I don’t think that’s going to be missed very much.

The five inch doll is the brain child of ex-Disney sculptor, Chuck Williams.

Earlier this month, Mr. Williams started a Kickstarter campaign to raise $38,000 to start mass producing the dolls. As he stated on the site,

I want to make this figure widely available to everyone around the world that has taken a liking to my caricature sculpture and to do that I need your help to cover the costs of making the production molds and castings as well as the freight costs from the toy factory,

As of this writing, (2/22/17) over 3667 people had invested $162,481.

As to when the dolls will hit the market? According to Mr. Williams’ statement on Kickstarter,

The vinyl figures will be turned around as soon as I can get the factory on board and fulfilling the orders. I allowed a year for this under the Kickstarter protocol but I will do everything I can to make them available in a few months.

Stay tuned!

Featured Image Credit: Chuck Williams – Twitter.

Poor Trump! Picked On Because He’s A White Dude

Trump -DonkeyHoteyRush (Has anybody seen my meds?) Limbaugh has figured out the problem with Donald Trump’s (aka “Herr Rump,” aka “Duh Fuhrer”) presidency.

It isn’t that he’s a bigoted, narcissistic, autocrat wannabe, who has the mental maturity of a five-year-old and totally out of his depth. Nah, nothing like that. The problem is, that he’s WHITE! (Gasp! Who knew? All this time I thought he was orange!)

You see, according to Limbough’s  thinking, (I can’t believe I’m using “Limbaugh” and “thinking” in the same sentence.) Herr Rump wouldn’t have any problems if only he were Black like Obama. (Technical point: Obama’s only half Black, but according to the right-wing mental midgets, if you have more than two drops of blood originating in Africa, you’re Black, baby!)

You all remember how congress and the press bent over backwards to give the “Big O” everything he wanted. Well, Pepperidge Farm, I mean Rush Limbaugh remembers.

[Obama was] the first African-American president. You have everybody falling all over themselves to acknowledge that, to reward that. Obama was going to get everything he wanted in the first year because if anybody opposed it, they were going to be accused of being a racist or bigot or who knows what.

Oh, and all this nonsense about the Trump-Putin connection? According to the “missing meds man,”

It’s absurd. There is no evidence. Zilch. Zero. Nada…Who is driving this business that the Russians hacked the elections? It’s the Democrat [SIC] Party, it’s Hillary, it’s Obama, it’s all those people who just can’t accept they lost.

Featured Image: DonkeyHotey

Texas Attorney General Faces Two Felony Trials (Video)

The Texas Attorney General has been under indictment on three felony counts for almost two years and he’s still AG.

Well, what did you expect? This is Texas we’re talking about!

After a brief flurry of attention, this story has been more that a bit neglected. However, that’s about to change. In case your attention was otherwise occupied back then, a bit of background is in order.

The bigoted, anti-gay, Texas Attorney General, Ken Paxton, is TexASS-deep in a hot, steaming pile of his own doo-doo! And, it’s got nothing to do with Mexicans, Muslims or marriage equality. It seems Texas’ top lawyer (and tea party fave) may have committed securities fraud to the tune of $100,000+.

In May of 2015 he was disciplined by the Texas State Securities Board and paid a $1,000 dollar fine for acting as an investment advisor when he solicited clients for a friend’s investment firm, Mowery Capital Management (MCM).  Problem is, he wasn’t registered as an investment advisor. That’s a “no-no” under Texas law.

Paxton called this “an administrative error.”

This went down in 2004, 2005 and 2012, at which time he was also gainfully employed as a Republican state representative for District 70 in Collin County.

According to the disciplinary order,

Respondent was compensated by MCM for each solicitation resulting in a client relationship with MCM. Specifically, MCM agreed to pay Respondent 30 percent of asset management fees collected by MCM from each client that Respondent solicited successfully.

Somehow, Representative Paxton forgot to include this on his personal financial statements, filed with the Texas  Ethics Commission. (Probably just another three “administrative errors,” don’tcha know.)

After the disciplinary proceedings, a watchdog group, Texans for Public Justice, requested an investigation into whether Paxton committed any crimes in his dealings. This got tossed around like a hot potato until Colin County’s district attorney handed off the spud to the Texas Rangers. (And no, Chuck Norris wasn’t involved.)

The spud may have morphed into the proverbial can of worms. As Special Prosecutor Kent Schaffer put it,

The Rangers went out to investigate one thing, and they came back with information on something else. It’s turned into something different than when they started.

While not giving specifics, Schaffer said there are fraud allegations exceeding $100,000. Under Texas law, that’s a first degree felony with a potential reward of a 99 year vacation at the Iron Bar Resort. Also, acting as an investment advisor, without being registered, is a third degree felony.

In July of 2015 Paxton was indicted on three felony counts. One third degree and two first degree.

Ok, the back has been ordered and grounded. Flash forward to the present.

Last Thursday (2/16/17) Paxton found out he’ll be facing two separate trials on the three counts.

The first trial will be for the third-degree felony count: failure to register as an investment advisor indictment. Following that trial, he’ll find himself back in court on the twin first-degree securities fraud cases.

As the special prosecutor, Kent Schaffer, explained,

There’s nothing in common except the defendant. So for people who are sitting on a jury it’s a much more confusing situation.

Paxton’s lawyers were not pleased. They tried to object on monetary grounds.

That either double or triples the expense to Collin County. I think from a judicial resources standpoint given the fee structure that’s in place in this case that’s absurd. We are not opposed and indeed we request that they be tried together.

Sadly, for the AG, their argument did no win out.

The prosecutors also asked the judge for a change of venue. Schaffer explained that there has been an attempt to taint the county’s jury pool.

There were extraordinary and unusual things that were done in order to persuade people to form an opinion based on things outside of the courtroom.

The judge didn’t rule on the change of venue, but did say that he planned to move forward with picking a jury in Collin County.

They’ll start picking the jury in April with the first trial beginning on May, the first.

Stay tuned!

Pat Robertson: If You Find Trump Revolting, You’re Revolting Against God! (Video)

Crazy Uncle Pat is at it again! Never one to let a controversy go by unscathed, the poster child(?) for senility weighed in on “The Russian Connection” scandal.

Ignoring the fact that Flynn’s phone calls to the Russian Ambassador boarded on, or over, the treason line, Robertson, claimed the intelligence community was out to get Flynn. According to Uncle Pat, they were specifically monitoring Flynn’s phone calls.

Actually, U.S. intelligence agencies routinely monitor the communications of Russian diplomats. The problem for Flynn is that the then future National Security Advisor didn’t know enough about national security to know that.

Robertson doesn’t believe the intelligence agencies were going rogue to pick on Flynn. Not by the hair on your chinny, chin chin! The instigators of the plot were the usual suspects (of the tinfoil turban crowd). It was Democrats, liberal government officials and (of course) the media.

Let me tell you! Uncle Pat had more than a few things to say about that and the “grand conspiracy” to bring down Trump and his crew. For starters, he pulled out the “good(?) book.”

The kings of the earth rise up and the rulers band together against the Lord and against his anointed,” Robertson said that those challenging Trump are really fighting against God. – Psalm 2:2

Then, of course, he added his own twisted take on the situation.

I think, somehow, the Lord’s plan is being put in place for America and these people are not only revolting against Trump, they’re revolting against what God’s plan is for America. These other people have been trying to destroy America. These left-wingers and so-called progressives are trying to destroy the country that we love and take away the freedoms they love. They want collectivism. They want socialism. What we’re looking at is free markets and freedom from this terrible, overarching bureaucracy. They want to fight as much as they can but I think the good news is the Bible says, “He that sits in the heavens will laugh them to scorn,” and I think that Trump’s someone on his side that is a lot more powerful than the media.

Well, if it was Big Daddy’s plan to inflict Trump upon this country, he must be mighty pissed at us about something.

In parting, for your listening and dancing delight, I present a minute and 23 seconds of this insanity. Enjoy!

Was Flynn Forced Out By ‘Devil-Worshiping, Luciferian, Demon-Possessed Maniacs?’

Heronimus BoschWelcome to the weird, warped, wacky world of Rick Wiles. This is a world straight out of the fever dream of John of Patmos or maybe Hieronymus Bosch. The Rickster runs a nut-job radio program called “Trunews.” (“Tru”, it ain’t and as for “news,” it would only be that if he ever got anything right.) 

In the past, he has regaled us with such knee-slappers as,

Yesterday (2/14/17) on his show, the Rickster had another brain fart. (Either that or his tinfoil toupee slipped off again.)

Rick Wiles shares the disturbing mechanics behind the spiritual melee currently in full swing for control of President Trump’s cabinet and the fate of Christianity worldwide. Rick also discusses the mad ramblings echoing through the Democratic party, and reminds the audience of the communist origins behind the revolt for America’s soul.

I’m running low on Emetrol, so I’m just going to cover a portion of the program. If you’ve stocked up, click on the “show” link above. (RDT not responsible for any mental or medical malfunctions resulting from listening to his ravings.)

Here’s a short run-down of some of the bovine meadow muffins from the show:

  • Flynn was dumped because he knew about Hillary’s child molestation ring. (Can you say “Pizzagate.”) Of course, that only existed in the fevered brows of the Tinfoil Turban set, but hey, why let a thoroughly debunked conspiracy go to waste?
  • Devil-worshiping, Luciferian, demon-possessed maniacs” have formed a “criminal cabal [that is] running this nation and much of the world” that allows them to engage in “child trafficking, child molestation, child rape, [and] child murder.
  • Many of the key officials, elected and appointed, and in corporate board rooms and in Hollywood and in New York City, they are part of a global child molestation ring,”
  • Hillary is now “relishing in the fact that they brought down General Flynn because he knows what they are and what they’re doing.”

Here’s a short clip from the program. Hopefully, a small dose won’t be too lethal.

I’d say “stay tuned,” but I’m not that much of a sadist.

Featured Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Trump’s New Rule: Only Islamic Extremists Are a Threat

Right_wing_extremists-_2013-08-14_21-56The “man” in the Oval Office seems to have a deathly fear of terrorists. At least those with slightly darker skin, that worship a slightly different version of Big Daddy. According to him, only Islamic Extremists are a Threat!

White Supremacist, Khristian (As opposed to “Christian,” which they are not!) filberts can’t be terrorists. They supported his candidacy. In fact, he made one of them, Stephen K. Bannon, Assistant to the President and Chief Strategist.

His mantra seems to be “If they’re white, they’re all right. If they’re a bit brown, put ’em down!”

Unless you’ve been taking a two-week vacation on one of Jupiter’s outer moons, you’re probably aware that Trump (aka “Herr Rump”, aka “Duh Fuhrer”) has issued an executive order “temporarily” blocking Muslims from entering the U.S. That is, of course, unless they’re from a country that he does business with.

For instance, the vast majority of the 9/11 terrorists were from Saudi Arabia, but S.A. gets a pass. After all, terrorism is terrorism, but business is business.

Then yesterday, (2/2/17) Reuters reported that Duh Fuhrer “wants to revamp and rename a U.S. government program designed to counter all violent ideologies so that it focuses solely on Islamist extremism.”

Cosmetically, he wants the program’s name changed from “Countering Violent Extremism” to “Countering Islamic Extremism.” He wants them to quit targeting white supremacist groups entirely.

This, despite the fact that for the last several years, DHS and law enforcement agencies around the country have stated that right-wing groups are a far bigger threat than Islamic militants.

As for why they would think that, the following is a very partial list of right-wing extremist incidents over the last 15 years;

  • July 19, 2002
    Federal and local law enforcement agents arrest North Carolina Klan leader Charles Robert Barefoot Jr. for his role in a plot to blow up the Johnson County Sheriff’s Office, the sheriff himself and the county jail. He was sentenced in February 2013 to 15 years in prison and three years’ probation after his term.
  • January 8, 2003
    Federal agents arrest Matt Hale, the national leader of the neo-Nazi World Church of the Creator (WCOTC). Hale was charged with soliciting the murder of federal judge, Joan Humphrey Lefkow. He was found guilty and sentenced to serve 40 years in federal prison.
  • February 13, 2003
    Federal agents in Pennsylvania arrest David Wayne Hull, imperial wizard of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan and an adherent of the anti-Semitic Christian Identity theology, alleging that Hull arranged to buy hand grenades to blow up abortion clinics. He was found guilty of weapons violations and sentenced to 12 years in federal prison.
  • April 1, 2004
    Neo-Nazi Skinhead Sean Gillespie videotaped himself as he firebombed Temple B’nai Israel, an Oklahoma City synagogue, as part of a film he is preparing to inspire other racists to violent revolution. He was found guilty of the attack and later sentenced to 39 years in federal prison.
  • June 10, 2005
    Daniel J. Schertz, a former member of the North Georgia White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, was indicted in Chattanooga, Tenn., on federal weapons charges for allegedly making seven pipe bombs and selling them to an undercover informant with the idea that they would be used to murder Mexican and Haitian immigrant workers. He was sentenced to 14 years in prison.
  • October 24, 2008
    Two white supremacists, Daniel Cowart and Paul Schlesselman, are arrested in Tennessee for allegedly plotting to assassinate Barack Obama and murder more than 100 black people. In 2010, Cowart was sentenced to 14 years and Schlesselman was sentenced to 10.
  • May 31, 2009
    Scott Roeder, an anti-abortion extremist who was involved with the antigovernment “freemen” movement in the 1990s, shoots to death Kansas late-term abortion provider George Tiller as the doctor is serving as an usher in his Wichita church. Roeder was convicted of first-degree murder in January 2010 and was sentenced to life in prison.
  • June 12, 2009
    Shawna Forde — the executive director of Minutemen American Defense (MAD), an anti-immigrant vigilante group that conducts “citizen patrols” on the Arizona-Mexico border — is charged with two counts of first-degree murder for her role in the slayings of a Latino man and his 9-year-old daughter in Arivaca, Ariz. She was sentenced to life in prison.

The list goes on and on and on, but this post is starting to get very long. You can check out the entire list here.

But, according to Duh Fuhrer, the only real terrorists are Islamic.

Right-Wing Preacher Proclaims Trump Is ‘God’s New Samson’ (AUDIO)

Sansone_distrugge_il_tempio_dei_Filistei_-_GrechettoIn the latest news from the Theocracy of Tinfoil Turbans comes word that Donald Trump, aka “Herr Rump,” aka “Duh Fuhrer,” may indeed be the second coming of Samson.

No, not the circus strongman, this one’s the real deal. The one from the “good book,” Judges 13-15.

Now, the last word I heard was that Herr Rump was the 2nd coming of John the Baptist, or maybe even J.C., himself! At least that’s what ex Assembly of God bible thumper, Tom Horn, told Jim Bakker last month.

Maybe Horn was wrong or maybe Duh Fuhrer has a case of multiple personality disorder, amidst his many other mental maladies.

Anyway, Rick Wyles thinks he’s Samson. No word on who Rick thinks Delilah is this time around.

For those of you who have not had the displeasure of knowing Rick, he’s another troglodyte “Khristian,” as opposed to “Christian.” He’s also the host of the “end times” and survivalist themed radio program, “Trunews.” Despite its name, Trunews is not news and is definitely not true.

I’ve written about Rick a couple times in the past. In May of 2015, Rick predicted death and destruction if SCOTUS legalized gay marriage.

Claiming the Holy Ghost was speaking through him, he said there was fire in the future. The Sacred Spook wasn’t sure if it was rioting, war or a fireball from space, but it was something.

America will be brought to its knees, there will be pain and suffering at a level we’ve never seen in this country. The word that I hear in my spirit is ‘fire.’ I do not know if it refers to riots or looting or war on American soil or a fireball from space. I simply know that a sweeping, consuming fire will come across the United States of America and this country will be charred and burned.

Herr Rump was elected, so maybe he was right on that one.

Then last February, after Justice Scalia bit the big one, Rick claimed he was the victim of a pagan sacrifice.

He broke the news to the world that Obama murdered Scalia as part of Lupercalia. Lupercalia, for those of you not hip to pagan holidays is supposed to avert evil spirits, releasing health and fertility. More than that, this ritual sacrifice also marked the beginning of the country being ruled by our pagan fascist overlords.

Hmm, once again, was he predicting Duh Fuhrer?

This Wednesday (1/25/17) Rick was as happy as a tick gorging on an elephant’s butt.

Friends, listen to me,” he said. “God’s favor is on us. Please, please, please comprehend what is happening. It’s more than a political revolution. This is a spiritual revolution. God’s favor is shining on us. I can’t get out of my mind what Mario Murillo said Monday, ‘Grace is oozing out of Heaven.’ It’s just oozing towards us right now. I’m basking in it. I’m rolling around in it. I’m enjoying it

He went on to explain the cause of his euphoria,

I keep getting this picture that Donald Trump is like this Samson, who has been raised up by God to fight the Philistines and all the Philistines have now turned their attention away from the church, turned their attention away from attacking Christianity, and all of the Philistines are running to Washington to attack Samson. But Samson is strong enough for them. He’s been called. He’s been equipped for this battle. That is his job. That is his assignment. He’s going to beat them down. They will not be able to overtake him. He’s Samson. He was designed by God. He was created for this hour to fight these Philistines.

By “Philistines,” I’m not sure if he was talking about the Women’s March on Washington, the fact-checking press, the LGBT community, some descendants of the original Philistines, or just the majority of Americans in general. He  was a bit vague on the matter.

But, in his “Us Against Them War,” the “Philistines,” whoever they are, are the enemy!

South Dakota Legislature Guts Corruption Law Passed by Voters

SD LegislatureRegressives seem to have a thing about ethics, and it’s not a good thing! My theory is that they hate getting called out, let alone penalized, for their corruption!

First thing the congressional Republicans tried to do this session was to kill the Office of Congressional Ethics. When that failed, due to public uproar, they were forced to backtrack. However, I’m sure that they are brainstorming a work-around to be used as stealthily as possible.

Since they couldn’t get away with it yet on a national level, it looks like they’re trying it on a state level. Case in point: South Dakota.

First, a quick disclaimer: The Regressives control the South Dakota house 60-10 and the senate 29-6. So, when I write “legislators,” I’m talking about Regressives.

Last election, the voters of South Dakota passed Measure 22, also known as “The Anti-Corruption Act.” The measure was an attempt to curb the influence of moneyed interests in elections and lobbying and hopefully eliminate some of the rampant corruption.

What corruption? Without going into details, which would result in a very long post, let me just say that The Center for Public Integrity gave the state an “F” in their State Integrity Investigation and ranked them 47th out of the 50 states.

The very idea of unbought elections and the elimination of being pampered by lobbyists, let alone be fined up to $1000 and sent to prison for a year for violations, must have scared the hell out of the legislators, because they immediately declared an “emergency.”

The reason for the “emergency” was so that they could immediately subvert the will of the people instead of waiting the normal 90 days before their subversion goes into effect.

The process began yesterday (1/23/17) with a committee hearing. It took 2 hours for the committee to approve a repeal of the measure by a 10-3 vote. The committee’s two Democrats were joined by one Republican to vote against the repeal.

After the vote, Rep. Larry Rhoden had this to say,

Judge us on the outcome of this legislative session. Give us a chance to honor the will of the voters, because IM 22 didn’t.

It seems to me that if the voters passed the measure, that WAS the will of the voters. And, I’m sure I mentioned, as far as integrity goes, South Dakota is number 47. Somehow, “We’re number 47, we’re number 47” doesn’t make for a good cheerleading yell.

Oh, but they did promise a replacement with their repeal. One of the problems with the so-called replacement is that it can’t be referred back to the voters for their judgement. As Doug Kronaizl, spokesman for Represent South Dakota, put it,

The problem with repeal and replace is, what we’ve said from the beginning, that it repeals what the voters asked for and replaces it with something we didn’t have a direct say in.

The bill now goes to the house and if approved, goes on to the senate. If they pass it, it lands on the governor’s desk. This same governor campaigned against the measure.

I used the word “if” when writing about passage. However, with Regressive super-majorities in both houses and and anti-measure 22 Governor, is there really any doubt?

Stay tuned!

 

Dan Rather Gives a Devastating Response to Trump’s ‘Alternative Facts’

Dan_Rather_media_talkAs we have been informed lately, we now live in the “Post-Truth Era.” (Shades of Orwell’s “1984!”) 

This morning, Kellyanne Conway made the rounds of the political talking heads programs to proclaim that Trump’s (aka Duh Fuhrer) bald face lies are simply “alternative facts.”

That’s very much akin to saying things like, “War is peace.” “Freedom is slavery.”  “Ignorance is strength.”

Dan Rather quickly took to his FaceBook page this morning to respond to Kellyanne Conway’s claim about “alternative facts.” To say the least, he NAILED IT!

The following are a just a few choice quotes:

These are not normal times.

When you have a spokesperson for the president of the United States wrap up a lie in the Orwellian phrase “alternative facts”…

when you have a press secretary in his first appearance before the White House reporters threaten, bully, lie, and then walk out of the briefing room without the cajones to answer a single question…

when you have a President stand before the stars of the fallen CIA agents and boast about the size of his crowds (lies) and how great his authoritarian inaugural speech was….

these are not normal times.

(I have to be honest, there are times when I wonder when we fell into the wormhole and ended up in Bizarro World.)

What can we do? We can all step up and say simply and without equivocation. “A lie, is a lie, is a lie!”

 

 (Not some damned watered down euphemism carefully couched so as to not hurt their feelings. I realize that’s a lot to ask of today’s profit driven news outlets, but it is essential!)

Facts and the truth are not partisan. They are the bedrock of our democracy. And you are either with them, with us, with our Constitution, our history, and the future of our nation, or you are against it.

The situation we are in reminds me of another Orwell quote that captures the essence of the current administration and Regressive controlled congress:

The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others; we are interested solely in power, pure power.

You can check out Mr Rather’s entire post here.

p.s.: If my ramblings don’t revolt you, check out my FaceBook page (“Grouchy’s Grumbles”) you might just enjoy it. Better yet, you might “like” it.  I’d love it if you did.It’s free (and worth every cent) and almost completely painless (other than the usual bad jokes).

Deranged Jim Bakker Is Sure Trump Is BFF With Jesus–Will Fight Evil Women Who Kill Babies

Jim Bakker, for those of you who don’t keep up with troglodyte bible-thumpers, is a lecherous, larcenist, preacher, who spent a few years learning the finer points of “rock hockey” after being caught for his misdeeds. In 1989,he was sentenced to 45 years in the  “Stony Lonesome,” but he wrangled a sentence reduction and only served five.

Since his release, he’s back at the old con shop, mostly pushing apocalyptic visions of the future and selling survival food and gear. (Of course, if you’re “raptured,” it’s a waste of money.)

To push his predictions, products and profits, he has an online broadcast (The Jim Bakker Show), with guests like Rick Wyles, Rick Joyner, Mike Huckabee and Carl Gallups.

In fact, Mr. Gallups was a guest on last Monday’s (1/16/16) show.

Carl Gallups has all the standard right-wing filbert credentials: He’s anti-gay, claiming it will completely destroy society and lead to enslavement.

He’s against Common Core, because, in his words,

Under Common Core, our smallest children in pre-school, kindergarten, etc. will learn about “the mechanics of homosexual sex because it has now been deemed normal and natural.

He’s also a “Sandy Hook Truther” claiming that the whole thing was a government hoax to justify new firearm restrictions and the grieving parents were actors.

Is it any wonder that Trump said Gallup’s endorsement was a “great honor” during the campaign?

As I said, on Monday Bakker had Gallup as a guest on his show. During their discussion, Bakker went off the deep end (again). He claimed that a million women are getting ready to march (Women’s March on Washington) because they want to kill their babies. They also want to kill Trump, because he’s leading the battle against evil. If they do that,they’re free to “sin.”

During the program, we also found out that Trump is a “born again” Christian (If that’s true, I want to see his “re-birth certificate.”) and has been ministered to for 15 years in preparation for the presidency.

Then Gallup piped in that the “demonic powers” (aka “Globalists“) are freaking out over the possibility that Trump may be president for 8 years, followed by Pence for another 8 and Trump’s son Eric taking over after that. (Hell, if that were a possibility, everybody should be freaking out!)

If you have enough Emetrol handy, here’s a clip of the proceedings: